Thankful Thursday!

When it is this time of day and you are a SAHM with 2 small children plus being 36 weeks pregnant...it's sometimes hard to be thankful for anything other than when the cuckoo clock strikes 8pm.
The Nut House helps us dedicate a day to finding what we are thankful for (besides that cuckoo) Click the link above to join in and read what others are thankful for.

Today I am thankful for my friends near and far. Sometimes there is nothing like a phone call from a friend (especially one who has small children running around and you get to hear her losing it!) to brighten up your day. Someone who takes the time to drop you a quick note in the mail (Whoot! I love getting something addressed to me that is not a bill or a key to a brand new car that I may have won) Someone who knows exactly what is going to make you laugh and what just pushed you over the edge. Someone who offers to give you bail money, passports and has a grand scheme of how to escape from it all. Someone who knows when you need advice and knows when to just be silent and hand over the cookie dough. Someone who actually remembers what your favorite color is and knows what TV show you are addicted to and will never call during that hour of cable bliss. Someone who is real enough to help you up when you fall, yet laugh hysterically while doing it because you were wearing granny panties. Someone who will never let you forget a moment, a joke, a laugh, a tear, a miracle or when you wore granny panties.

Thank you for my friends (that would probably be YOU!)

The Grossest Day Ever!

So this post over at The Nut House community got me to reliving the grossest thing that has ever happened to me.

True that I have 2 small children so there is no shortage of gross things that I have endured.

• projectile vomit caught in hands. Check.
• poop sprayed down the tank top by the cradled infant. Been there. Done that.
• stringy gobs of mucus spread everywhere. Got the t shirt (and burned it)

Being a mom means wiping nasties all day every day, but that is not The Grossest Thing ever.

For me, it was a really hot day. The kind of day that sweat from every pore. I woke up that morning and had to take our brand new (to us) puppy to the vet for his shots. While he ate his breakfast kibble (a lot of kibble, he was a very large breed dog) I got dressed and put on some shorts. We toddled off to the vet and he received all of his shots. As we traveled home, I noticed he began to pant heavily and whine.

Then some strange gurgling noises began to emit from him.

Gurgling = I am gonna throw up sounds.

Just like a human baby, he assumed if he got closer and laid his head on my lap; he might begin to feel better.

He was wrong.

So wrong.

The next thing I know, my lap is covered in partially digested kibbles.

Did I mention that I was wearing shorts?

It oozed and crept across my lap, into my shorts.

The smell, oh...the smell.

I lost all personal control, I hit the gas pedal and pushed my little car to 90mph in desperation to get home and GET IT OFF OF ME!

Through my watering eyes, a result of trying not to gag myself...I saw the worst. Blue lights. In my rear view mirror. Are you kidding me??????

I pulled over and the cop began the slow "checking it out" walk to my window. Very slow. Slower than slow.

He got to my window and looked down.

He turned, walked fast, got in his car and left.

I felt bulletproof with regurgitated kibble in my lap and proceeded to the homestead at 95mph. With no regard to modesty, I stripped in the driveway, threw the clothes in the trash and ran to the shower (at probably 95mph)

Now you know the grossest moment in my life. Ever.

Cave For Sale

So I am beginning to look for a cave for sale. Not to hold my family, it's all for me.
By myself.
Kind of like a getaway place.
Skip the Italian villa, I need rock walls and lint collecting activities.

I love my husband and kids.
Ilovethem.Ilovethem.Ilovethem (keep chanting it)
But I do not like them right now.

Their need for 3 meals a day plus snacks is getting unreasonable.
Do they realize that not everyone in the world wears clean clothes everyday? Be appreciative or learn to compromise.
Trying to see how many times we can make Mommy vacuum in a day is getting pretty old.
The constant chatter. The nonstop chatter. The ceaseless all. day. long. chatter.
The crying, wailing, ripping of clothes, gnashing of teeth...wait...that's me.

OK so its hormones. OK it will be over soon. Things will get back to a normal. We will all survive.
Wewillallsurvive. Wewillallsurvive. Wewillallsurvive. (keep chanting)

Until then I need a cave. A quiet cave.
Just for me.
To scream in.
To collect lint.
To get away from it all.
Just for now.