Wednesday, October 27, 2010

A Mommy's Prayer

I do not wait to say my prayers when the day is done,
I need to get my plea to God before the day's begun.
For when I lay me down at night to sleep,
My sanity, I probably did not keep.
So, Our Father who art in heaven, please hear my prayer.
Help me find my keys and get the gum out of the baby's hair.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of scattered toys, I will be calm.
I'll answer all their questions without saying, "because I'm your mom"
When all three kids are screaming and crying that life's not fair,
Help me not totally blow it and pull out all my hair.
Give me patience as I scrub the crayon off the wall,
Please let them be quiet just once as I take another phone call.
Give me courage as we go to the grocery store,
And silence the mouth of the toddler who repeats the word I swore.
Give me stamina to last until I put them all to bed.
And help me remove the paint from the dog's head.
My God and my coffee will strengthen me today
Dear Lord, hear these words I pray.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Just Once

Just once I would like to introduce my child and give no disclaimer.

Just once I would to like to have a conversation with my child.

Just once I would like to look at other children and not compare.

Just once I would like to not have to play the interpreter.

Just once I wish I had the grace to be the mom she deserves all the time.

It has taken me almost 5 years to accept the fact that I have a special needs child. It wasn't because I thought I was too good to have a special needs child; it was simply because I thought she was too perfect to be a special needs child.

By the end of the day my heart hurts.

By the end of a lesson my heart hurts.

By the end of a play date my heart hurts.

Sometimes when my heart hurts I am not a great mom. The frustration and sadness overwhelm and my reactions are knee jerk. My responses are impatient and my tone is bitter.

I know better and I do it anyways.

The power a mother has over her children is a crushing weight; the demand to always meet needs and mold character. Some days I am less than impressed with the way my children saw me. How I failed to meet expectations and hurt feelings. I have to remind myself that fighting a battle isn't easy and sometimes I am weary. In that moment, I have to accept that I have a special needs child and that is a separate battle.

Just once I would like to understand everything my child tells me.

Just once I would like to have a moment of clear communication.

Just once I would like a clear diagnosis so I can understand our enemy.

It has to be something more than just a lack of communication. It has to be some form of something bigger.

Can this speech delay really be all it is? Is that what causes the emotional problems?

It has to be something bigger.

Just once I would like to understand.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Monday Mingle

Linking up with 80mph mom for Monday Mingle

Saving The Turkeys - A Mission

This video is a mission for The Daily Break Community. Please visit and show your support against the slaughter!

Friday, October 22, 2010

Twitter #loveletter

First I would like to thank @raymourflanigan for the wonderful suggestion of a follow up letter to Twitter after my horrible break up with Facebook last week. I love when my readers have requests!

Secondly, Disqus is now my commenting hopefully it won't crash my blog and you and I can talk.


Me: Dear @Twitter I have something really important to confess to you. I have a special place in my heart for you. In fact, I think it might be #truelove 

Twitter: Oops, your message is over 140 characters please try again. 

Me: Dear @Twitter I have something really important to tell you. I think I have #true love for you.

Me: Dear @Twitter I have something really important to tell you. I think I have #true love for you.


Me: Dear @Twitter I have something really important to tell you. I think I have #true love for you.


Me: Dear @Twitter, I am starting to get frustrated. I just want to tell you #iloveyou


Me: OK one hour #truelove for you still has me wanting to confess #lovefortwitter

Twitter: Tweet sent

Me: Only you understand my need to tell people what I just ate, a pic of my cola and obssession with #hashtags

Twitter: Tweet sent

Me: This whole 140 character thing is cramping our relationship too and I don't like using the extender thing. Do you think we can deepen our relationship with 170 characters?

Twitter Oops, your message was over 140 characters please try again.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Where's Wrangler

So Where's Wrangler

Image of Where's Waldo courtesy of Google Images

It's been a pretty good week, but as usual when things are good; it means I am busy and I don't post as much. I have felt pretty out of the loop, but thanks to the Daily Break community by Living Social and The Blog Frog, I have been able to keep some fun going with my online time. If you haven't headed over there yet, I am a community leader and let me tell you....tons of fun going on with great women and conversations!

I took the girls to a birthday party/pumpkin patch over the weekend and we had a lot of fun there! There was hay rides (hello hay fever) train rides and pumpkin picking. Those two beauties above are Bug and Belly doing the "Found a pumpkin" dance.

I started off the week with a wonderful photo shoot with an amazing young lady who is a senior this year. We have more pictures on Saturday, but she was so much fun, so mature and so photogenic!
Next up was getting the last of my dental work done. I hate mouth pain worse than anything! Seriously...give me labor and delivery any day! Luckily, my dentist believes in after care pain management through narcotics. Well, that pretty much explains where I was for two of the days. 

Tomorrow begins the festivities for Belly's birthday. 1st party will be Friday night (and I still have no clue what to do at her party....Hello, Mom Of The Year) and another small party on Sunday night. That's where I have been...and it looks like it won't be until this weekend before I can check in again with pics from Belly's party.

Friday, October 15, 2010

My Big Breasts

Today I heard a commotion outside and the dogs had finally caught and wounded some of the turkeys that are always in our yard. Being the responsible carnivore, I put them out of their misery and waited until the husband got home to clean them. I haven't gone all farm woman yet to actually clean a real turkey. I did however help with the plucking and it is decided that the girls will dress up like Indians for Halloween with authethic headresses. 'Cause that's how we roll.

Since I never could resist a good pun, even in the face of appearing crude....

Check out my big breasts.

Someone pass the cranberry sauce. We are feasting tonight.

Red Writing Hood


Today I am participating in a new challenge. It's a Friday link up and its all about writing. If you would like to play along, click the button above.

The prompt is you are stuck in the elevator with someone you despise for 6 hours. What do you say? This can be fiction of non-fiction.

So let's set the stage. Imagine if you will, that a website is a living, breathing human. This particular one is a man who stands almost 7 feet tall. Larger than life. His face as first glimpse is friendly and inviting, but there is something lurking behind the smile that is troublesome.

His name is Face Book. He'll ask you to call him "friend" though.

We enter the elevator at the same time. Our eyes meet and there is recognition. After the elevator journeys a few floors, there is a shudder and a slow grind of a stop. All sounds of mechanical workings have ceased; leaving the sound of our breathing to fill the silence.

The following is my side of the conversation.

We need to talk. You convinced me to join you in your endeavor a year ago and I am not happy with what you have done with me. In fact, I hate you and I am considering severing our relationship.

Why? Don't pretend like you don't know what you have done. You have forced me to open Pandora's Box. A box full of old relationships that were better left behind.

Sure. It was my choice to let them back into my life, but I felt like I had no choice. When faced with having to confirm or ignore a friendship; I had to confirm. Your choice of wording left me no option. I wouldn't want them to think I was immature enough to hold on to old grudges and insecurities; even if I am.

Stop poking me; I am still talking to you.

Daily I have checked in through you into these skeletons. Hourly I have found myself measuring up against their photos, their collections of friends and more recently; what they "like" or are fans of. You have created a way of keeping our friendship from dying by allowing us to tag photos that are shared across the internet of a time that should be forgotten; high school. You created a place for us to update what is going on in our lives right now, so that we can all compare who is the best. I have never been comfortable with writing what is really going on sometimes, so you forced me into a spotlight that made me lie.

Seriously, you want to give me a chicken for my farm right now? This is a serious conversation. I am not interested in your chickens, palm trees or a new couch for a imaginary pet.

Back to this spotlight. Does anyone really want to read that I am constipated, trying to balance the household budget and can't control my kids? No. I don't want my nemesis from high school reading about my struggles. So I write about how I am going shopping for the latest fad. Hit buttons that make me "like" the fact that my kids are the best and offer them a goat to get them off my tail for a while. Letting them see a "me" that shows only how great I am.

I hate you for that. I hate that you have forced me to compare and critique myself with my past. I hate the pressure of something you convinced me would be fun. I hate you for wasting my time with silliness.

What the heck? You blocked me and now I can't share this information with you.

Seriously? Come on! Accept my friendship again so we can finish talking. I'll give you a park bench for your new frontier.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Eating Out Of The Same Bowl

Sam has been my faithful companion for many years, the children's best friend and house guard dog. Hesagoodboy...Hesagoodboy (said in my funny specially reserved for dogs voice) When we got Libby the Wiener to fill the void in Buzz's heart when she lost her puppy, Sam had a new challenge to deal with. Although Libby is a miniature dachshund; she came with a huge attitude towards the existing household pet. She clearly and sometimes loudly declared she was Alpha in the dog world of our home. Sam was gracious, confused and probably mildly entertained by this creature who didn't measure up to his knee; declaring her superiority. When it came time to eat she would aggressively attack him to get to the bowl first. When she had her fill and he would go to take his turn; she would stubbornly sit in front of the bowl and growl.

Over some time I have watched them go from bitter rivals to good friends who eat out of the same bowl. It took Sam learning he played too rough sometimes and scared her and it took her realizing that there was plenty of food and love to go around. When I would pet Sam she used to get jealous and try to push him away by use of teeth and growling. Now she has learned to sit back, tail wagging and knows her turn is next.

Our relationships would benefit greatly if we would learn to eat out of the same bowl, to celebrate the good times that someone else is having by wagging our tail and considering that the other person may be uncomfortable with the way we handle things sometimes. If we were all the same what a boring world it would be, but respecting our differences and playing together is the real key to a successful relationship. When we understand that life is big enough for us all to enjoy is when we really start living and having healthy relationships!

In your relationships have you learned that life is big enough or are you eating from the same bowl?

I want to share another bowl with you! There is a great community online that encourages you to make friends, talk about life and even win an awesome prize!

Click the link above to join in the fun with women (and a few men!) just like you! I have the honor of being one the community leaders over there and it has been a privilege to work with so many talented and diverse women! I just know it's going to make your tail wag, so come and share my bowl!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010


If you know me then you know that typically speaking, I hate Fall. It is heralding in colder temps, runny noses, chapped lips, higher electric bills and body numbing blustery winds. Fall has only one redeeming quality. Colors. For PhoTuesday I wanted to show you some of the colors here at Crayon Ranch and the last two are some "just for fun" ones I took of the older girls.

 this is sideways and I can't seem to straighten it.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Must Have Items For Real Moms

The Things That I Need
Sing to the tune of "My Favorite Things"

Time by myself with no children screaming,
Time to eat cake and do some daydreaming.
A cream to make all of my stretch marks recede,
These are a few of the things that I need.

Sippies that have a homing beacon that blinks,
A button that removes all the toothpaste from sinks.
Working cleaners that won't melt brains or make noses bleed
These are a few of the things that I need.

When I hear a baby scream,
When the toddlers mean
When I need a drink
I simply imagine the things that I need
And then I don't feel so bad.

Legos with edges that won't cut a foot,
Magic that makes all the puzzle pieces stay put.
A vaccum that spits out the toys and still does its deed
These are a few of the things that I need.
 A bathroom break with nobody knocking
Shirts that repel puke and no runs in my stocking
As moms I think that we are all nodding and agreed.
Skip the spa trip!! These are the real things we need.

When I hear a baby scream,
When the toddlers mean
When I need a drink
I simply imagine the things that I need
And then I don't feel so bad.

What are some things you think REAL moms need?

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Brace Yourself

Time to "Brace Yourself"!! It was probably the last really nice weekend we are going to have until March 2011, so the girls and I spent a lot of time outside enjoying the nice 80 degree weather!

We did some decorating for Fall.

We looked at the subtle change of leaf colors in the back 40 and I tried to explain in 4yo and 2yo terms why the leaves change colors in the first place. I gave up on the scientific explanations as they looked at me like monkeys trying to solve a math problem and just settled for the "God made it that way" answer.

I taught them the correct way to roll down a hill.

This includes making sure the path of descent is free of thorns.

Free of twigs or roots.

...and most importantly free of dog or deer droppings.

We played many rounds of hide and go seek...

 I haven't explained yet that the bright pink shirt is a dead giveaway to a hiding place. They just assume that I am the Queen of Hide and Seek. I'll let them keep their illusions of my superiority a little longer...

It was a great weekend and I am sure going to miss the nice weather. Hope all of you had a wonderful weekend too!

Friday, October 8, 2010

5 Question Friday

I swear I will vlog again one day. Really...I will. I just got this honkin' zit the size of Montana on my chin and not really feeling like making you yak your food.

On to 5 Question Friday! If you want to play along and read what else everyone is saying, click the button above!

1. What do you listen to while driving?
Mostly kids screaming, crying, wailing, gnashing their teeth and moaning. If by chance they are not doing the above, I like to listen to silence. Absolute-all-consuming-silence. As a mother, silence is a luxury.

2. What is your least favorite thing about Fall?
It is heralding in bitter, bone chilling, toe freezing, nose dripping, chapped lips, expensive heating bills cold weather. Other than's great with its mild temps, colorful display and the fun of dressing up like a troll, scaring kids, eating lots of candy and prepping for being Thankful.

3. What does your dream house look like, inside and out?
My dream house is actually my reality. We scrimped, saved and ate lots of beanie-weenies to get to this point. My home is a beautiful cape cod sitting on 20 acres of field/wooded land. I have sparkling (haha) wood floors, open design, room for all the kids, spacious kitchen, large rocking chair front and back porch and a huge jacuzzi bath. I love my home!!!

4. Would you ever own a minivan?
I was standing at the dealership looking at The Bentley. It was perfect and I knew it was just the car for us. Then I measured for the car seats and discovered that I could not fit all three in there. I went ahead and settled for the minivan because it was more practical.
Of course it is in the shop again.
I hate my van.

5. Do you wash new clothes before wearing them?
Ummmm....YES! I could get into all the sanitizing, crabs, skin disease points...but let's just keep this one simple.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Lessons Learned - Vol 6

  1. There is no "Easy Button" when you are a mom.
  2. There is an "Easier Button" if you look for it. Mine is Speed Dial #1 and its the "I'm calling your dad" direct line. When I push that button everything is easier.
  3. There are people who love waking up in the morning, frying bacon, baking biscuits and singing in the kitchen.
  4. Then there is me.
  5. If you pull out a pack of bacon and stare at it hard enough for 20 minutes, you can convince yourself that it might be spoiled.
  6. To be safe, feed the children cereal.
  7. Feel pride all day long from the certain food poisoning disaster you avoided.
  8. Go to bed that night and mention in your prayer to God that you were sorry you were lazy and lied to the children who wanted bacon.
  9. Husbands who had moms who cooked elaborate breakfasts are decidedly miffed when served cereal.
  10. Even after 10 years of marriage the comment "My mom always did...." will still come up.
  11. Husbands are the reason that mother-in-laws get such a bad rap.
  12. With Child #1 you did a constant sweep of the house to make sure there were no choking hazards on the floor.
  13. With Child #3 you teach the older ones who to do the "throat sweep" while you trip over tiny Legos.
  14. It is possible to get your thumb stuck in a minivan hatch to the point where you can't move.
  15. This is the type of thing that only happens to me.
  16. It's possible to control tears and cussing when children are present so you don't scare them while you are stuck and in pain.
  17. When the husband comes to your rescue and points/laughs first before rescuing you, you can not control the cussing part.
  18. Sometimes when you look at all your little crazy mistakes in the day; you wonder why God entrusted small children to your care.
  19. After you have asked forgiveness for the whole bacon incident; thank God that he gave you all those little beings to care for.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

What's Up Wednesday

It's been another whirlwind week and we are only halfway through. A few of those days were really frustrating and made me want to hide in the laundry room and have keg parties with Hershey's syrup. Here is "What's Up Wednesday"

Since three car seats don't fit well in a Bentley, I choose to drive a minivan. This minivan has more quirks than the crazy aunt who has a house full of cats and collects troll dolls. Not that MY aunt is like that...just someone's crazy aunt. It has been in and out of the shop and will go back for the final round today.

The dentist appointment runs began this week in a rush to use all of our benefits for this year. We found a new dentist and I am thrilled about that! My only complaint is the waiting room restroom. It is dead center in the waiting room and has one of those air flow grates in the door. When positioned on the throne you can see the feet of the people in the waiting room chairs and hear them talking as though you were sitting next to them...well, you ARE sitting next to them. AWKWARD. Not only that, but the door is hard to shut and latch. While I was getting my cleaning on, Belly had to "take care of some business". I left the room and went to check on Belly. There I found the poor child in the "oval office" doing her business with the door wide open. She was letting everyone know that she was indeed "pooping and leave me alone". Yup...we are going to have to do something about the waiting room restroom situation.

I have a maternity shoot today. Not quite like the annual turkey shoot and cornhole contest, but I am excited. This lady is actually having her baby on Friday and I am actually getting her baby for a newborn shoot as well. GIDDY EXCITEMENT!!!

The kids are all doing well. The only major fight the older two had this week was over who was the nicest. Ahh...sibling rivalry. Awesome. Buzz is really getting into story telling. No, not lying...well, in a way it is...but "Once Upon A Time" story telling. It is precious to hear, but hard to follow the story with her speech delay. Belly usually fills in the blanks that Buzz can't seem to get out, but I can't wait for the day that Buzz can tell a story all by herself with all the words that she can think of. Bitsy has started feeding herself, which is a glorious day! I love my little squishy babies, but there comes a time when I am just ready to quit having to feed, carry, etc. and just want to see a little independence from them.

The trees are beginning to change around here and it has been a lot cooler. I have pulled out the fluffy robes, positioned the hot chocolate at the front of the pantry and begun to hum Christmas carols when nobody is listening. Buzz has told us that what she wants for her birthday is for Santa Claus to tell her "Happy Birthday". Thankfully her birthday is in Dec. so this is a possibility!

That's "What's Up Wednesday".....What's Up With You?????

Friday, October 1, 2010


I would send out a "WHOO-HOO...Thank Goodness It's Friday" thing, but in the "Land of Moms" Friday is just a day. If you are one of those super mythical moms, you might have laundry done and your house sparkles like one of those Twilight guys in the sunlight. (Sad pop culture reference) Around here though, the highlight is "Five Question Friday" with Mama M. I missed it for a couple of weeks and still can't seem to find the time to vlog...but here I am.

Btw...did you know I guest blogged yesterday? I was named Blog Of The Month by Mom Got Blog. I talked about the schedule of the social media mom. You don't want to miss that one...

If you want to play 5 Question Friday, click the button above and you will be able to link up. Just copy the questions below and fill in your answers.

It's like you have hit an "Easy button" or something...

1. Did you have a pen pal when you were little (or now)? Where were/are they from?

I am pretty sure that I did through some kind of church program or something, but I can't recall who I wrote to.

I know I wrote to my boyfriend daily when he went to college. Long lengthy "I'm-gonna-die-one-more-day-without-you" letters full of hand sketched hearts and lengthy discussions on what our future would be. Discussing our future childrens' names and down to what type of flowers I was going to plant in our little garden behind the white picket fence while our faithful dog looked on and supper was in the oven...

Talk about massive works of fiction, but oh-so-heatbreakingly-true back then. 

2. If you could do a different job for one day, what would it be?

I want to try the opposite of what I am doing...let me be "Dad" for the day. I want to be the one who comes home to children who are thrilled to see me, who bounces them on my shoulders for half an hour and then sits down to a hot meal...a HOT meal that I get to eat without any interruptions of cleaning up spilled milk, cutting grapes into 1/8ths and having the talk about how we don't discuss body functions at dinner. Speaking of that...the dad gets to laugh at the super cool, rated a 10 on the Richter Scale belch and have all the fun! I want to be the one who gets lost on a road trip and gets to blame the faulty GPS system that clearly showed I was going the wrong way on an unknown road that looked more like a river...Dads...that's where the fun is and the grass is always greener; I know...

3. Do you remember your biggest fear from when you were little?

I know I had one (hopefully my mom will chime in here) but I can't remember one at all. I think I was pretty fearless. I was the one who hid in closets, under beds, etc to scare the pants off my sister. I had no issue with wandering around in the dark, catching creepy-crawlies and would climb to the tops of trees.
It's only since I became an adult and understood the definition of mortality that I have gained "fears"

4. What do you think is a waste of time? Why?

 OK I am going to go "THERE" and sound all wise and stuff...NOTHING you do is a waste of time. Every action has a purpose. What makes it meaningful is your heart and intention behind each action. 

...then I went and looked at Mama M's answer and I have to agree...going to the bathroom is a waste of time and energy. Could we have found a better way to do what "1 &2" does rather than have to stop what we are doing and sit down? There is nothing like having dinner on to cook, 4 burners going full tilt, 3 kids having a meltdown, 2 dogs barking/tearing jack through the house and having to walk away to powder your nose.

5. What is the oldest item you have in your closet?

 A couple of dolls and teddy bear from my childhood. There is also a sundress from when I was 18. I was convinced for the longest time that I would wear it again one day. "One Day" is an imaginary land where everyone loses 25 lbs, has perfect baby skin, the perfect bank account and every dream is a reality. If I ever get a golden ticket to visit "One Day", I will be sure to pack that sundress in my carry on. Until then, it shall hang in the back of my closet behind the flannel robe and "Mom shirts"


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