Monkey See, Monkey Do

In a study, a group of monkeys were locked in a room with a pole at the center. Some nice, ripe bananas were placed at the top of the pole. When a monkey would begin to climb the pole to get a banana, he would be knocked off with a blast of water from a fire hose. Each time a monkey would climb, off he would go, until all the monkeys had been knocked off repeatedly, thus learning that the climb was hopeless. It was then observed that the monkeys would pull down any monkey trying to climb. When researchers would introduce a new monkey to the group and he tried to climb the pole, the others would pull him down. One by one, each monkey was replaced with a new monkey and the scene was repeated until there were no monkeys left in the room that had actually experienced the fire hose. Still, none of these new monkeys would climb the pole. They pulled each other down each time one decided to give it a go. Not one monkey in the room knew why, but none were allowed to get the bananas.

 I heard this story yesterday on the Dave Ramsey show. He told it while he was talking about negative people in our lives. Dream destroyers. Those people who tell you you can't do something, you aren't smart enough, you'll never be anything and you can't succeed.

I am sure someone just popped into your head. You are thinking of that thing that they told you that you couldn't do.
 
Why are you allowing someone else to do this to you? Why do you not even try?

Insecurity

I was convinced when I was 16 that my hips were too big, my hair too fuzzy, my forehead too high and my eyes a little crooked. Now that I am 30(something or other) I still believe the same things. I thought when a woman grew older she became more secure in herself, confident of who she is and what she looks like. Over 15 years I have carried the same insecurities around. When does this self-image enlightenment happen? Am I going to have to wait until I am in my 80s and I can no longer make out that fuzzy shape in the mirror to critique my appearance to have security?

It seems as the years pass, those high school insecurities just morph into more complicated insecurities with deeper, more complicated justifications. Now I have all the insecurities of a daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend, business worker, daughter-in-law...the list goes on and on. Am I still attractive to my husband of 10 years, Are my kids being raised in a way that they deserve, Do I still make my parents proud, etc.

I was recently battling with a big insecurity of mine and the strangest thing happened...my dear friend, Kate, started talking about doing a study of the book "So Long Insecurity" by Beth Moore. Talk about a God sign! This is exactly what I needed! I got the book and there was the smiling face of Beth. If ever a woman personified security, it's Beth! Then I started reading her words...admissions of insecurity, self doubt...wait a minute! This is Beth Moore. THE Beth Moore. How dare she feel insecurity?!? Insecurity is for peons like me, nobodies that spend their days changing diapers, plunging toilets and worrying about that flab fold from the last baby birthed.

But there is was, in her own words. She has moments of insecurity. Imagine that?!? So now we are doing the study on the book. It's already began, but if you are reading this and feeling like you identify; I really want you to join us! You don't even really need the book, we will help you through it! You can come HERE to join in on the discussion.