Tuesday, December 15, 2009

(wo)MAN ON FIRE!

For the past few weeks I have been suffering from blocked up nose, runny nose, headaches, etc. All the great things that come with temps going from 60 to 20 back to 60 back to 20 in a 5 day stretch. Not wanting to pump too many meds in my body, I found this bath oil that claims almost instant cold & sinus relief when poured into a warm bath.

See where it says underneath that little medical symbol (which is only there so you trust the product to heal what ails you) 94.9% naturally derived? I know it's tiny and you have to squint, but trust me that what it says. You want to know what the other percentage is...acid. Straight skin burning, mutilating acid.

I am not a direction reader. I throw away manuals and scoff at instructions. If I were to read directions, I would have probably known that a couple of tbsp of this stuff was enough in a bathtub that size of an Olympic sized pool.

I did mention that my nose has been really stopped up, haven't I? I mean like, find me a miniature jack hammer kind of stopped up.

So half the bottle should fix it, right?!?

I ran as hot of a bath as I could possibly stand (and wouldn't roast baby in utero) and glugged that stuff right in there. I figured out quickly that it wasn't steam rising from my bath, but chemical fumes.

I did try to read the directions at this point, but the natural ingredients of menthol and eucalyptus was causing my eyes to involuntarily shut and to water enough that my tears alone caused the bath tub water level to rise 3 inches.

Then the "floodgates" opened and I could breathe! It did burn to suck in air through my nose, but maybe my nose just wasn't accustomed to working so just ignore it.

I sat down in the brew and noticed a strange tingling on the submerged parts of my body.

A tingling that turned into a mild burning warmth.

Did I mention that I have sensitive skin. That's probably pretty noteworthy at this point, but much like my bath...it was an afterthought.

The mild burning warmth turned quickly into a fiery "Oh My Goodness What Have I Done" (Because I know I have male readers I will refrain from the girly bit damage, but trust me ladies...avoid this product around sensitive areas)

I jumped up (yeah...I know...jumping up at 9 months pregnant. NOT!) and turned on the shower to straight cold water. After about a good 20 minute rinse cycle I got all the oils off my skin.

I now have hives.

Everywhere.

I can't even reach 2/3rds of the places I have hives.

On a bright note, my nose is clear.

13 comments:

Amanda said...

I'm only laughing because of the noises you were making while cleaning said olympic sized tub today when we were chatting(or, me talking, you groaning). I can picture the "jumping"...and guess what, you get to clean the pool again tomorrow! YAY!

Bethany said...

Again. Wow.

You really need a vacation. A long, restful, full nights sleep, only you in bed vacation. Not that that could happen anytime soon, but I'll wish for one for you.

MannMom3 said...

Oh No! Poor you! That's awful!

Ode to Motherhood said...

Oh, my goodness! Hope you feel better soon.

Mama M. said...

Well, AMEN, girl!! At least you can breathe!!! ;)

Yikes! This'll probably send you into labor!!!

RUBY said...

oy! I feel for you just reading it made me tear up and itch all over. I can't imagine sitting in hot water with chemicals. I guess its true what they say every med has a sideeffect either u want a runny nose or a runny butt in ur case stuffed up nose or hives... I think i would have stuck to the stuffed up nose. Hope u heal soon!

RUBY said...

oy! I feel for you just reading it made me tear up and itch all over. I can't imagine sitting in hot water with chemicals. I guess its true what they say every med has a sideeffect either u want a runny nose or a runny butt in ur case stuffed up nose or hives... I think i would have stuck to the stuffed up nose. Hope u heal soon!

Beth P. said...

Well that is quite the bathtime disaster. I am glad you can breathe, though!

lovingmylife said...

OH NO! Poor girl. I hope you heal up quick, it would really stink to be covered in hives and in labor!

Megan M. said...

Oh, lawdy, lady! That is officially no bueno! Stick to just carrying the Vicks VapoRub container around, and sticking your nose in it as needed. Just your nose. Feel better soon!

Helga said...

Oh my goodness....that's all I can think. You poor thing, the whole situation is awful. I hope you feel better soon.

Brianne said...

Well hey didn't you buy this stuff to un clog your sinuses!! You said you can breathe so mission accomplished!!

Next time read some directions!! Hope your hives are gone.

Working Mommy said...

Oh the things we will do to get better!! I hope your nose stays clear and that you feel better soon!

~WM

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