A Mother's Day Present To Talk About

The Scribblers and I

I received a Mother's Day present to talk about. I suppose I could tell you about the huge bouquet of flowers I received (another handful of weeds) or the gorgeous necklace the girls got me (nothing more precious than yarn and raw macaroni to match the little black dress) or the cutest card ever (a picture of a child coloring on the walls with the caption "One day we will laugh about this" - by the way Honey, perfect card!!) but the best gift I received was by Buzz, my late talker. Out of her still very limited vocabulary she managed to tell me all day long "Happy Mudder Day" In fact, other than asking for "chicken & fries"....I think it is all she said all day long. I am totally OK with that!

I don't think all the roses, diamonds or cards could outshine hearing those words come from her lips. OK...I would be willing to weigh the diamonds...Nah, just kidding! Having a late talker may not seem like a big deal or disability to many, but it is a frustrating and very real disability for a family that has a late talking child in it. To not be able to communicate effectively is heartbreaking and that is NOT putting it mildly. Not being able to understand basic needs or wants from your child such as a glass of juice, needing to use the restroom or just needing a hug.

We are entering Buzz's 4 1/2 year of life and she is really beginning to make tremendous strides with her speech. She is learning finally after years of silence and gibberish to make her feelings known through her words and getting to hear her wish me a clear and understandable "Happy Mudder's Day" makes my heart soar for her, for us. It is truly a present to "talk about"!

Happiness 101

Many, many moons ago and before there were children; I would get the morning newspaper and sit down and check out what was "news". Most times the first dozen pages were so depressing, I would flip to the funnies and the Hints from Heloise (Honestly I would rather learn the 200 ways to clean things with toothpaste than to see how many morons tried to hold up a bank with a water pistol and a demand letter full of typos) These days I hit the front pages of different news sources for my morning news. I still end up looking up toothpaste remedies and funny cartoons because of the negative news that streams in.Imagine my surprise when on the front page of MSN there is an article about happiness. The article is about different ways that we can learn happiness from children. Not all of the time, but more often than I care to admit; I find my children teaching me more about what OTC meds work best on a migraine. Also, focusing on the laughter as joy and not ear piercing squeals that make the dog consider chewing his own ears off.
Some of the "lessons" that really stuck out to me were...

• Choose your mood - The story represented talks about how a preschooler is learning about moods and asks her mother all the time "mad?" "happy?" One day when the mother was mad and the preschooler asked her about it, the mother said she was happy. She chose her mood. We get to pick our moods!!! We don't have to resign ourselves to being in a negative mood. Our mood is not set in stone.

• Go on impulse - The story talks about a 2 year old who in the middle of "helping" fold laundry breaks into dancing. How often do we hold ourselves back from simple pleasures. No, I am not talking about deciding to spend your life savings on an impulse buy of Dr. Scholl's Gel Liners or Lottery Tickets. I talking about dancing in the rain, having a picnic in the yard, watching the clouds for shapes of bunnies in boats. We need to dance while doing laundry more often!

• Savor joy while it lasts -This kind of goes with the one above. "Don't cling to moments of perfect joy, just relish them and have faith that more will come." I love this quote from the actual article.

I urge you to read the article as it has many different lessons than the ones I highlighted. There are so many things that we can learn from our kids...not just how to make the perfect spitwad (which can be highly useful)...but how to derive happiness from the simple things and enjoy the moment while it is here.

*images are courtesy of Google images

Speech Delay and The Late Talker

Do you know what a "dee-dee" is?

Well, I do, thanks to my late talking 4 year old. Do you think your child may have a speech delay? I am not talking about the mother of a 8 month old who is listening to all of her friends at a forum list off 80 new words that their 8 month old is saying along with being able to completely recite The Bill of Rights. I am talking about a much older child who should be talking using words and small sentences.

There are many reasons for a speech delay (please check with your pediatrician if you suspect a speech delay so that they can help you determine which one) Autism, hearing loss, something did not form quite right with the tongue...many reasons! But sometimes there is no reason, other than the words just don't seem to travel correctly from brain to mouth. The child seems to be exceptionally bright, there are just no words. They understand a huge vocabulary from you, just no words of their own.

With Buzz, I noticed it around the 12 month mark. She should have been saying a few words, but it was nothing but garble. I thought perhaps she was just so focused on her physical development that perhaps the words would come soon. By 18 months, I knew we had a problem. Not only was she not saying any words, but her behavior began to go downhill. She became extremely agitated at not being able to communicate her wants, needs and fears. We struggled (I took a lot of Advil) and cried together at not being able to understand what she desperately needed to say.  How I longed to hear her say the words "Momma" and "I love you" We took her to get her hearing checked and there were several different diagnosis from that, but basically nothing was wrong. I had her evaluated by the Early Intervention people, but they wanted to label her as Autistic. After reading and researching, I knew she wasn't autistic. So I scoured the internet for a solution. I came across The Einstein Syndrome by Thomas Sowell.

I looked on the internet and found where the research for this book had taken place and noticed that it was at a University in my town. I called the names credited in the back of the book and finally got an appointment with a speech therapist. After one session with her (and finally someone not telling me she was autistic) I figured out what we were doing wrong and how to correct it. I began paying close attention to her body language that was accompanied by her words and slowly began to decipher her jargon. We relied heavily on pictures and interactive television. Buzz is more of a creative thinker and simple repetition with flash cards was not going to work.

Now at 4 years old, Buzz still has a speech delay and I constantly play the interpreter when she is in a social situation. The greatest improvement that I have noticed is her confidence and patience. I know that the research that I have done and the work we did together has helped her gain this. I know that when she enters school, she will still be behind somewhat; but I know she has the mental skills to help her deal with this. We know she will catch up and as I see her show off new words like "happy" we are getting there. There are days that are frustrating when she wants something and I can't understand her, but she has the patience of Job and knows if she just keeps trying we will figure out the word together.

The biggest thing that I have taken away from all of this is to never let someone label your child. Don't let someone (even if they have all the diplomas on the wall) tell you that your child can't/won't/or will ever do something. Be your child's advocate and #1 fan. Trust in what your heart tells you and BELIEVE in your child, no matter what the disability might be. I have learned that her frustration was not a child acting out, but a pathway to learning. I may be teaching her words, but she is teaching me patience and how to be a better mother.

I had to wait until she was almost 3 1/2 before I ever heard "wuv you too" but it wasn't too late. Not late at all.