I Get By...

...with a little help from my friends.

Alrighty, I would love for some of you to shoot my an email and offer to do some guest blogging. No particular topic (unless you would love to make up a song, Real Moms Of Genius or some lessons learned) In the next 3ish weeks, my blogging is going to be pretty scarce. We are down to the wire with the moving, my laptop is dying (never fear...one is being shipped as we speak) and my brain has seriously HAD enough. So if you want to guest blog, hit the "Contact Me" button and let me know!

It has been so stressful these past few months...come to think of it; it's been stressful since September when we officially put the house on the market. In addition to trying to sell our house, The Grays moved in with us, Bitsy was born, we found the dream home...the list seems to go on and on.

To top it off, these jerks (Yes, they are jerks and you will see why) who put a contract on our house have been unbearably dumb. Our closing date was set for May 25th with our move-out date set for June 4th. They agreed to this...THEY SIGNED IT! Wednesday I get a call from our realtor telling us that they purchased some kind of "early closing packet" and want to close the next day.

Ummm....did you forget what you signed?

Well, we ended up agreeing to the early closing and then they decided to turn into toddlers. You know....crying, being irrational, stomping their feet and not caring about anyone else.

They decided that they weren't going to sign the closing papers at all unless we agreed to let them move in on June 1st.

Once again, did you forget what you signed?

It seems that their landlord wanted them out on the 1st and they didn't have anywhere to live. So to them, it made complete sense to kick out a family with 3 small children so that they weren't inconvenienced.

Here's the deal. The "Dream Home" is a short sale. It does not follow the usual rules of real estate and we don't have a closing date set in stone. All we know is that it should be before the 28th. However...we don't KNOW that. It could very easily take a few more days depending on when everyone gets their John Hancock's on the bottom line.

How could I possibly agree to allow them to move in early if I don't know when I will have somewhere to move to? Follow my thinking here?

Our agent called and said the girl (Yes, a girl...not a woman. A woman has more class than that) was boo-hooing at the closing table because she didn't plan ahead on the original move in date of the 4th. It made perfect sense to her that we should be forced to move out early, regardless of if we had somewhere to move to.

They basically held us hostage over this closing contract. We had to sell this house, because we have a contract on another one. They have finally caved and signed, but if history is any judge with these people, this will not be the last we hear of it. They have been a thorn in our side since the very beginning. Sending inspectors and appraisers without consulting with us on our schedule. Coming to see the house, but showing up late and having a temper tantrum because we were in the house. Then there have been at least 20 calls (this is not an embellishment) trying to convince us to move out early. They even sent a termite inspector who claimed there were termites, but if we would just let them go ahead and move in; they would take care of it. We got two other termite companies to come look at the house and there was no evidence of termites. Just a little game they were trying to play.

Now do you see why I call them "Jerks"?

So anyways...I need some guest bloggers to fill in while I am up to my armpits in wrapping paper, boxes, packing tape and finalizing when we move to the Dream Home.

Help me get by with a little help from my friends.

How To Sell A House - Lessons Learned

We have had our house on the market since October of 2009. Here are some things that I have learned.

1. 12 years after the initial construction, it is a good idea to spruce up the house and update major features for selling.
2. Carpet, paint and new floor tiling is a wonderful selling point.
3. Before the new carpet, paint and floor tiling has been installed; you average around 5 showings every week.
4. Once the new carpet, paint and floor tiling has been installed, not one person will look at your house for the next 3 months.
5. 2 children and one dog can ruin the whole look of new carpet in about 3 weeks.
6. The new paint will hold up about one week past the carpet.
7. Although you had initially packed up most of your knick-knacks; they will slowly find their way back into the house after it hasn't shown for 3 months.
8. Once the carpet looks worn, there are scuffs on the paint and the house generally looks like it threw up; you will get 5-6 showings a week again.
9. Around this time the season of Spring has shown up.
10. Before you put your house on the market, you could mow the grass every 10 days to keep it looking nice.
11. A Realtor sign contains some kind of fertilizer. Once planted in your yard, the grass needs to be mowed every 2 days to keep it from being as tall as the trees.
12. On the day the laundry is to be finished and there are 6 baskets of dirty clothes sitting around, you will get a call that the house is showing in an hour.
13. You can stuff 3 loads of laundry in the dryer and the other 3 loads will fit in the car.
14. A loaf of fresh bread takes around an hour to cook.
15. While you are kneading the raw dough, you will get a call that the house is showing in an hour.
16. Go ahead and finish your bread, it seems that Realtors and potential home buyers enjoy having fresh bread while touring your house.
17. Have an exit plan similar to that of a fire escape and drill the children every day.
18. You will get a call that the house is showing in one hour, when the kids are muddy, need a nap, have Legos strewn across the floor or are in a uncooperative mood.
19. Those three laundry baskets will come in handy that you put in the car. Throw a child, toys and dog in one and carry it to the car too.

Eye of the Beholder - House Buying Style

The following is a pictorial of how buying a house is truly all in the eye of the beholder. All images used were found through Google images...

You decide to make the huge step of buying a house. You decide on an average house (this is Google's interpretation of what "average" is, so we will just go with that.)

You notice the asking price on this supposed to be average house...

 The house looks somewhat different now

Then the appraiser comes and looks at the house

 Well at least you can afford this

Then you go to the bank to get prequalified, considering the housing market you can afford this

Probably not going to fit a family of 5

You renegotiate with the sellers and finally get the price for the average home, but you send the inspector in, he tells you the house is...

...going to need a lot of work

By the time you get your estimate you will pay enough in repairs to have...

*SIGH*

Real Estate Agent SWAT Team

Today we had a house showing, but not the typical walk a client through; this was a real estate agent SWAT team. This showing was only for the agents in our area to become "familiar" with our house so that they could better promote it. So you know what that meant...I spent all day yesterday and this morning sprucing up the homestead and seriously considered putting the children in stocks so that I could keep it clean.

 

Google images

Well at 10:15am 14 agents poured out of two cars (not kidding, looked like some of those clown cars) and into my home. I had positioned myself halfway in the living room with a welcoming smile plastered across my face.  I had decided to stand right there because it seemed like I would look involved and interested, but not so anxious that I was jumping and slobbering on the front door glass. Because of the all the people coming, I had picked up Bitsy to keep her from getting startled (or tripped over) As they began storming the house, they came in like a SWAT. Each one ran to a different room to make their notes and peek in closets, try overhead lights, flush toilets, note how many prescription bottles were in my bathroom cabinet, try faucets, shake their head at my laundry basket of dirty clothes and poke the baby.

The older Scribblers were fed by the frenzy and ran room to room, helter skelter and talking animatedly about everything that the agents were talking about. You would think they had never seen Outsiders before and they all but jumped on their legs and piddled in the floor from the excitement.

In no time at all I found myself cowering in the kitchen corner, wide eyed, sweating profusely and feeling like sucking my thumb in the fetal position. I clung to Bitsy like a security blanket trying to shield her from all the agents wanting to pinch her cheeks and gush about how cute she is. Don't get me wrong, I want every one to marvel and gush about Bitsy, but when you storm me and swarm me like a bunch of fireants...I really go into the "Fight or Flight" mentality.

In no time at all, the SWAT team had made their notes (especially about my laundry basket, I am sure) and began shoving their business cards at me. I pulled my thumb from my mouth and accepted the cards as they began filing out of the house. The swarm of activity is gone, but the traumatic 15 minutes we endured will last the rest of the day. We have shut the blinds, turned off all over head lights and currently there is soothing music playing.

All I know, is this house better sell...soon.

Showing A House

If you have come here looking for Five Question Friday, I am not doing it today. It's not a strike, it's not personal...it's just not being done today in favor of a rant. Who doesn't like a good rant?? No?? Well, then head over to Mama M's and take a peek at all my fun friends doing Five Question Friday.

Yesterday I talked about poop stalagmites and the fact that our house was showing today. I am pretty sure if the potential buyer had known that my carpet and walls were being used for a personal toilet, they would not buy it; but all evidence was removed. It's Lysol clean, Baby!

So the house hasn't showed since last October, which was OK since we had 2 birthdays, 2 major holidays and the birth of a child to get out of the way. Do you know what happens to the "show quality" of a house that contains 4 adults, 3 children and a dog when it hasn't showed 3 1/2 months? It goes down hill fast, my friends. It means they come into the house expecting it to look like this...

 

Google images

And it looks something more like this...

 

Google images...NOT MY HOUSE!

 

I spent all day at home, alone with the kids (insert scary music) trying to get the house back to show worthy quality. I scrubbed, I polished, I sweated, I cried and then I finally got smart. As soon as I was done with a room; I locked the door behind me. I felt like that little woman on the movie Poltergeist..."This house is clean."

Every time I cleaned a window, I had 2 helpers behind me cleaning it with their spit and fists. Polished furniture...they were there putting their fingers in the shiny tops. I packed up a lot of things from all the closets to capitalize on the walk in closets (You must be able to walk in a walk in closet, so I had to pack!) and there they were going through the boxes and adding things of their own. I almost had the box sealed when I noticed Bitsy laying on the quilts inside. I am pretty sure it was the kids who did that, although I have been pretty forgetful lately.

I know I cleaned everything at least 3 times, sometimes more. Once to initially clean it, once to clean up the kids cleaning it and once to remove my sweat and tears from the object. I officially do NOT want to live this way for long and I don't think my kids would survive it. A house is meant to be lived in. I don't want to have to constantly tell the kids not to mess with the eye candy display of all my best home magazines fanned on the coffee table. Potpourri on the back of the toilet is a pleasing touch, but let's face it...kids eat it and love to play with the dried fruit pieces and little twirly wooden sticks. Don't get me wrong, I keep a clean house; but we also live here. You are going to have to do the "Obstacle Course Of Broken Toes" to make it through a kid's room. There is usually a doll in some form of undress on a counter and there will be fingerprints on the door glass of children who anxiously await their father to come home. I will swear in a court of law that if your house looks show worthy and you have children...they are miserable and you are exhausted.

I have not yet heard any feedback on the house showing, but it better get good reviews. I smelled like a horse yesterday when I finished and refused to take a shower in my gleaming, sparkly tub for fear of Crayon Wrangler funk contaminating it and being the reason the house didn't sell. I didn't cook the typical home cooked meal for fear of a speck of grease or green bean water on the stove burners so clean. We had burgers from a bag eaten over towels so the dining room table and floor wasn't sporting the usual spilled drink or smeared ketchup trail. The dog was banished outside so a single Sam hair didn't float onto the perfect vacuum lines in the carpet. The children's toys were arranged magazine photo quality on their bookshelves , while they sat in the floor twiddling their thumbs. They were miserable and me? I was exhausted.

The saddest thing is that we have another showing on Tuesday. The house must remain in this condition until then. If any child poops on my floor again...heaven help us all!

Check In, Check up. Check Out

Funny how life revolves around "checks", ain't it. Whether it is a check in the mail, needing to check up on something, checking someone's diaper, getting a check up or getting something done and checking it off your list.

Checks and balances dude.

My checks for the day are.

Check in the mail: Nope, but I am still hoping for that ring at my doorbell; only to open the door in my house robe and someone sticks cameras, roses and a gigantic check in my face. It could happen.

Checked on something: Called the Realtor to check on the availability of dream home. Check it off the list. Seems as though there was a HUGE miscalculation in the square footage (we are talking about 500 sq ft off...hello, someone is a dunce with the measuring tape) and a gravity fed spring that appears to be having a lot of problems. I may want to go back a couple of decades in simplicity but I am not going Full Laura Ingalls Wilder and pumping my own bath water. Thankyouverymuch indoor plumbing for me.

Check up: Went into the OB today and get my check up and ultrasound. They did the echocardiogram with it's pretty red and blue colors and she was coloring good (or that is a heck of a cold front coming on a radar - that's what those look like to me) and her heart is checking GREAT! No VSD worries. We got a few pictures but Baby Bigfoot is burrowed down, locked and loaded or whatever term you like and we couldn't get a good pic of her face (mainly because her shins were in the way. Can we say CRAMPED lodging?) We did however see that she already has fat rolls and lots of fuzzy hair. She is edging on 5 lbs and is doing breathing movements constantly. Someone find a fork...this bun is about done! I have begun to consider buying her diapers and such...you know, it appears that this birth is just beyond the horizon and maybe having a little more than one outfit and an empty dresser drawer is in order. Perhaps I will get the bassinet out of the attic and dust it off...wait, I don't really have to dust it off since we just got done with it! We have hardly let the bassinet mattress get cold before we have stuck another newborn in it.
Wouldn't have it any other way.

I want to send a "SHOUT OUT" to all my new followers that have joined up and grabbed a crayon. I appreciate you taking the time to read about my little life.
I also have gotten several awards from different blogs. I will acknowledge those soon and I appreciate them.

Now for my last "check"....I am off to check on a certain somebody's diaper.

Blah Blah Blogging

Another edition of Blah Blah Blogging.

Trying very hard to balance between common sense and lunacy packing. We needed to reduce the amount of "stuff" in the house so that it shows well, so we started packing it up. We have had 2 favorable showings, but no contract as of now. The inside of the house has been scrubbed and polished to a spit shine. Honestly, I don't like being in the house, the neatness and reduction of personal items is a bit disconcerting. I really pray that this house sells. I am so ready to move and just "get 'er done." I want to keep packing on faith, so there is not so much to do later...that is where the lunacy comes in. So when in doubt; do nothing.

The kiddos have been wonderful help (HAHAHAHA!) in this whole adventure. Somewhere in a box that got sealed up is my toothbrush and a whole pack of Pull-Ups. Belly was packed for a moment, but we found her pretty fast. They are reacting to the turmoil in the home with predictable behavior. Much is being looked over and excused for now.

Personally, I am very tired. We have taken this Day of Rest, for a day of rest. I think The Man and I really needed it. In addition to the physical work we have been doing, there is the emotional work of praying for the house to sell or His Will to be revealed in our living situation.

Baby Emily is a top floor kind of girl. I still have a ways to go in this pregnancy; but if her crowding the top levels is any indication of things to come, I can go ahead and hang up being able to breathe at 30+ weeks.

Alright, I will admit it. This has been a pretty boring post. I think my humor is taking a day of rest as well. I also have some belly shots to catch up on and I don't think I have taken any pics of the kids lately to show off. *Sigh*

Team Pink/Blue?????

Today was GENDER DAY!!! Without further ado, I would like to introduce you to...

Emily Grace (aka Bigfoot)

She is beautiful and has the biggest foot (for her gestational age) that the U/S tech had ever seen. All the measurements were perfect (Thank You God) she is healthy and complete (Thank You God) There are a few parts they did not see clear enough, thanks to a stubborn little girl, so I will go back on the 30th for another ultrasound (Oh....darn, huh?) Big sister, Buzz; came along today and got to watch the ultrasound. If you ask her, she will tell you she is having a baby alligator (huh? Yeah...u/s are difficult to make out sometimes) Daddy is thrilled to have another girl as well!

We also had house showings today and although I have not heard any feedback, I feel upbeat at the amount of interest that we are seeing this soon. (There is however the incident of leaving my back gate standing wide open with my dog back there. Thankfully he was still in the backyard!! Good Boy!) The house we were initially looking at got a contract on it today and it appears it was accepted, so we are crossing that property off our list. Here comes more of that "faith" stuff...I know if God's Will is that our house sells, He will have another place ready for us. I just wish he would drop me the MLS # and save me the stress of scheduling walk-thrus.

It has been an utterly exhausting day, physically and emotionally. Thank you for all the prayers and the support you all gave me today. It meant a lot to me!!!

Iamouttaherethankyouverymuch...