Lessons Learned - Vol 6

1. There is no "Easy Button" when you are a mom.
2. There is an "Easier Button" if you look for it. Mine is Speed Dial #1 and its the "I'm calling your dad" direct line. When I push that button everything is easier.
3. There are people who love waking up in the morning, frying bacon, baking biscuits and singing in the kitchen.
4. Then there is me.
5. If you pull out a pack of bacon and stare at it hard enough for 20 minutes, you can convince yourself that it might be spoiled.
6. To be safe, feed the children cereal.
7. Feel pride all day long from the certain food poisoning disaster you avoided.
8. Go to bed that night and mention in your prayer to God that you were sorry you were lazy and lied to the children who wanted bacon.
9. Husbands who had moms who cooked elaborate breakfasts are decidedly miffed when served cereal.
10. Even after 10 years of marriage the comment "My mom always did...." will still come up.
11. Husbands are the reason that mother-in-laws get such a bad rap.
12. With Child #1 you did a constant sweep of the house to make sure there were no choking hazards on the floor.
13. With Child #3 you teach the older ones who to do the "throat sweep" while you trip over tiny Legos.
14. It is possible to get your thumb stuck in a minivan hatch to the point where you can't move.
15. This is the type of thing that only happens to me.
16. It's possible to control tears and cussing when children are present so you don't scare them while you are stuck and in pain.
17. When the husband comes to your rescue and points/laughs first before rescuing you, you can not control the cussing part.
18. Sometimes when you look at all your little crazy mistakes in the day; you wonder why God entrusted small children to your care.
19. After you have asked forgiveness for the whole bacon incident; thank God that he gave you all those little beings to care for.

What's Up Wednesday

It's been another whirlwind week and we are only halfway through. A few of those days were really frustrating and made me want to hide in the laundry room and have keg parties with Hershey's syrup. Here is "What's Up Wednesday"

Since three car seats don't fit well in a Bentley, I choose to drive a minivan. This minivan has more quirks than the crazy aunt who has a house full of cats and collects troll dolls. Not that MY aunt is like that...just someone's crazy aunt. It has been in and out of the shop and will go back for the final round today.

The dentist appointment runs began this week in a rush to use all of our benefits for this year. We found a new dentist and I am thrilled about that! My only complaint is the waiting room restroom. It is dead center in the waiting room and has one of those air flow grates in the door. When positioned on the throne you can see the feet of the people in the waiting room chairs and hear them talking as though you were sitting next to them...well, you ARE sitting next to them. AWKWARD. Not only that, but the door is hard to shut and latch. While I was getting my cleaning on, Belly had to "take care of some business". I left the room and went to check on Belly. There I found the poor child in the "oval office" doing her business with the door wide open. She was letting everyone know that she was indeed "pooping and leave me alone". Yup...we are going to have to do something about the waiting room restroom situation.

I have a maternity shoot today. Not quite like the annual turkey shoot and cornhole contest, but I am excited. This lady is actually having her baby on Friday and I am actually getting her baby for a newborn shoot as well. GIDDY EXCITEMENT!!!

The kids are all doing well. The only major fight the older two had this week was over who was the nicest. Ahh...sibling rivalry. Awesome. Buzz is really getting into story telling. No, not lying...well, in a way it is...but "Once Upon A Time" story telling. It is precious to hear, but hard to follow the story with her speech delay. Belly usually fills in the blanks that Buzz can't seem to get out, but I can't wait for the day that Buzz can tell a story all by herself with all the words that she can think of. Bitsy has started feeding herself, which is a glorious day! I love my little squishy babies, but there comes a time when I am just ready to quit having to feed, carry, etc. and just want to see a little independence from them.

The trees are beginning to change around here and it has been a lot cooler. I have pulled out the fluffy robes, positioned the hot chocolate at the front of the pantry and begun to hum Christmas carols when nobody is listening. Buzz has told us that what she wants for her birthday is for Santa Claus to tell her "Happy Birthday". Thankfully her birthday is in Dec. so this is a possibility!

That's "What's Up Wednesday".....What's Up With You?????

5QF

I would send out a "WHOO-HOO...Thank Goodness It's Friday" thing, but in the "Land of Moms" Friday is just a day. If you are one of those super mythical moms, you might have laundry done and your house sparkles like one of those Twilight guys in the sunlight. (Sad pop culture reference) Around here though, the highlight is "Five Question Friday" with Mama M. I missed it for a couple of weeks and still can't seem to find the time to vlog...but here I am.

Btw...did you know I guest blogged yesterday? I was named Blog Of The Month by Mom Got Blog. I talked about the schedule of the social media mom. You don't want to miss that one...

If you want to play 5 Question Friday, click the button above and you will be able to link up. Just copy the questions below and fill in your answers.

It's like you have hit an "Easy button" or something...

1. Did you have a pen pal when you were little (or now)? Where were/are they from?

I am pretty sure that I did through some kind of church program or something, but I can't recall who I wrote to.

I know I wrote to my boyfriend daily when he went to college. Long lengthy "I'm-gonna-die-one-more-day-without-you" letters full of hand sketched hearts and lengthy discussions on what our future would be. Discussing our future childrens' names and down to what type of flowers I was going to plant in our little garden behind the white picket fence while our faithful dog looked on and supper was in the oven...

Talk about massive works of fiction, but oh-so-heatbreakingly-true back then. 

2. If you could do a different job for one day, what would it be?

I want to try the opposite of what I am doing...let me be "Dad" for the day. I want to be the one who comes home to children who are thrilled to see me, who bounces them on my shoulders for half an hour and then sits down to a hot meal...a HOT meal that I get to eat without any interruptions of cleaning up spilled milk, cutting grapes into 1/8ths and having the talk about how we don't discuss body functions at dinner. Speaking of that...the dad gets to laugh at the super cool, rated a 10 on the Richter Scale belch and have all the fun! I want to be the one who gets lost on a road trip and gets to blame the faulty GPS system that clearly showed I was going the wrong way on an unknown road that looked more like a river...Dads...that's where the fun is and the grass is always greener; I know...

3. Do you remember your biggest fear from when you were little?

I know I had one (hopefully my mom will chime in here) but I can't remember one at all. I think I was pretty fearless. I was the one who hid in closets, under beds, etc to scare the pants off my sister. I had no issue with wandering around in the dark, catching creepy-crawlies and would climb to the tops of trees.
It's only since I became an adult and understood the definition of mortality that I have gained "fears"

4. What do you think is a waste of time? Why?

 OK I am going to go "THERE" and sound all wise and stuff...NOTHING you do is a waste of time. Every action has a purpose. What makes it meaningful is your heart and intention behind each action. 


...then I went and looked at Mama M's answer and I have to agree...going to the bathroom is a waste of time and energy. Could we have found a better way to do what "1 &2" does rather than have to stop what we are doing and sit down? There is nothing like having dinner on to cook, 4 burners going full tilt, 3 kids having a meltdown, 2 dogs barking/tearing jack through the house and having to walk away to powder your nose.

5. What is the oldest item you have in your closet?

 A couple of dolls and teddy bear from my childhood. There is also a sundress from when I was 18. I was convinced for the longest time that I would wear it again one day. "One Day" is an imaginary land where everyone loses 25 lbs, has perfect baby skin, the perfect bank account and every dream is a reality. If I ever get a golden ticket to visit "One Day", I will be sure to pack that sundress in my carry on. Until then, it shall hang in the back of my closet behind the flannel robe and "Mom shirts"