Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Welcome To The Whoopsie Club

Mama M over at My Little Life is having a great Mother's Day party going on. If you want to know more of the details, click over there and see what all is going on.

Today is Whoopsie Day. Those stellar moments in Mommyhood that we have all done, don't want to admit to and watch our children for months convinced we have broken them somehow that will show up later on down the road.

I have had numerous really not that many Whoopsie moments. I have gotten to the point where I just consider it an accidental hazing ritual to belong to our family. In order to get your "Crayon Badge" you must have either been dropped, stepped on or had something fall on your head. All these things must happen in the first 4 months of your life or no badge or parting gift.

I have never figured out how an infant that lays motionless in the floor for hours, will all of a sudden develop back muscles and do a double tuck, roll and swan dive off the couch in perfect execution. Considering their heads are twice the size of the rest of their bodies, it is always the first thing to hit the ground.

The crawling child presents another obstacle to master for the klutzy mother. Not only do we have to navigate furnishings, rugs, misplaced toys, a random shoe; but now we must avoid a tiny being scurrying across the floor. Their little bodies are so hard to see when you are carrying a 2 ton basket of laundry and they will most assuredly be in your way. Tiny finger will find their way under your heel and little heads will be the perfect height for banging into lower cabinet doors when opened.

Baby oil is evil and should be pulled off the shelf. There is nothing like bathing your infant, rubbing them down with oil and then proceeding to try to pick up your muscle-less, squirmy infant. They will slip out of your hold faster than poop from a goose. Don't believe what people tell you...babies do not bounce.

One of my most recent Whoopise moments was when you are leaning over to buckle the poor, unsuspecting infant in their car seat so that you can go to the store. Because you are going to the store, you will have your purse on your shoulder.

You lean over.

Gravity kicks in.

Purse slides down and nails innocent bystander child in the forehead.

Perfect aim.

So what Whoopsie moment do you want to admit to?

10 comments:

Lisa Curcio said...

Aww, poor kids ;)

Hi, my name is Lisa, and I am a klutzy mother too. I think I have done all of those things at least once. Although I usually clock my babies in the forehead with a diaper back full of enough stuff for, well, 2 babies and a toddler. Ouch!

Mama M. said...

LOL!

Love it! The ol' purse to the forehead routine! Have you ever been walking...admiring your baby, when you extend your arms/babe above you...JUST as you are walking through door frames?

Baby heads and door frames do not make for good friends.

Just sayin.

LJFredricks said...

My moment usually comes when I am trying to make a memory.
I had a lot of them while trying to get the kids photos taken. WHich is why you will see nothing but candids and school pictures hanging on my wall.
Case and point. When I had only 2 kids I scheduled an appointment at sears. I scrubbed them clean and dolled them up for hours. So long that I was late. When we got there I demanded that my then 2 year old daughter hold my hand and my 4 year olds hand and then proceeded to run across the parking lot. She fell but thankfully since we were both holding her hands her forehead stopped her fall. Ahem. Nice move. Big scrape on her forehead. WHich her bangs covered. Because I was not going to go through all of that again. I hate those pictures.

Melanie said...

Oh yea! I forgot about the over-sized purse or diaper bag to the forehead/face.

Evelyn said...

Loved the story!

Lorilynne said...

I feel like I've hit my kids in the head with just about everything, they are both old enough now that they don't cry anymore though. I just have to hear "mommy bonked me in the head" over and over and over again until something new happens.

Tinamaria said...

LOL. . .the swan dive gets me too. Glad to know I'm not the only one who has experienced this phenomenon.

Kasey said...

I've hit more poor daughter with my purse so many times... I never learn! At least it's not just me!

Beth said...

LOL! I'm having a blast reading these things. I'd forgotten half the whoopsies I'd done but you gals are raising a ton of memories!

We 2 Bees said...

LOL! I totally forgot about the purse to the forehead! Totally been there! And the crawling child and stepping on them. When you are klutzy you have to forget most of these things or you just feel bad! Thanks for the laughs.

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