Showing posts with label getting older. Show all posts
Showing posts with label getting older. Show all posts

Monday, March 14, 2011

I'm just too old for this...

In my years here on Earth I have considered myself a student. Lately I have begun learning that there are some things that you are are just too old to do. I can't tell you the magic age number of this transition, but you will know it when you get there. Always wanting to help my fellow man, I have compiled a list for you.

  1. Eating sugar laced items for breakfast - There was a time in my youth that I could throw down a buffet of Chocolate Covered Sugar Puffs With Candy Coated Marshmallows, Sticky Buns and Chocolate Milk. Those days are behind me. Instead of the eagerly anticipated massive sugar rush that kept me going well into my P.E. class of school now I get a headache combined with the undeniable urge to puke. I was the kid who always licked the frosting bowl clean, so when recently presented with a ton of icing left over from making The Scribblers some morning cinnamon rolls; I did what any self respecting bowl licker would do. I indulged. As I am fighting the rollercoaster of Blech-ville, I have learned I'm just too old for this...
  2. Walking barefoot on the driveway. When I was a child I could swiftly transitioned from grass to asphalt, mud to concrete, sand to gravel as if it was nothing. My feet carried me with little regard to what material was under them. These days if my arches come close to gravel or heat, I do the crouch and prancing pony walk. My body believes that by crouching slightly at the waist and pony prancing that perhaps my feet will make less contact with the offending surface. This does NOT work and I have learned I'm just too old for this...
  3. Being outside in extreme temperatures. I would run like a gazelle in 100+ degrees and roll in the snow like a deprived Polar Bear when I was a kid. Hours upon hours in extreme weather never phased me. What I lacked in common sense, I made up for in enthusiasm to just be outside. Now days when the temps hit 90 I find myself pulling a Wicked Witch Of The West scene...."I'm melting" (insert nasally witchy awesome voice) and when the temps dip below 40, I channel my inner elderly person and bundle like an Eskimo and make plans for a community lifestyle in Florida (I even found an awesome gold metallic tracksuit to wear) I have learned I'm just too old for this...
  4. Staying up late to eat snacks and watch a movie. After spending the past 5 years with some form of newborn/teething/bedtime potty training routine, I just don't have it in my to stay up late anymore. With the ever growing "mom spread", I don't do the snacky thing so much either. (Unless it contains copious amounts of fiber. Ice cream sundae = bad. Bran muffin = good) Every now and then, I try to have a surprise movie night with The Scribblers and break all the mom rules. Before the first opening sequence of the movie, I begin doing the math in my head of how much sleep I can hope to get. My brain whirs through the numbers like Scrooge counting his precious coins. I mourn every minute into the movie of precious snoozes that I will never get back. Sleep has become a hot commodity for me. While trying to choke down some chocolate syrup and sprinkles as the movie drags by, I have learned I'm just too old for this...
Is there anything that you have learned you are just too old for now? Tell me about it!!

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