Monday, March 14, 2011

I'm just too old for this...

In my years here on Earth I have considered myself a student. Lately I have begun learning that there are some things that you are are just too old to do. I can't tell you the magic age number of this transition, but you will know it when you get there. Always wanting to help my fellow man, I have compiled a list for you.

  1. Eating sugar laced items for breakfast - There was a time in my youth that I could throw down a buffet of Chocolate Covered Sugar Puffs With Candy Coated Marshmallows, Sticky Buns and Chocolate Milk. Those days are behind me. Instead of the eagerly anticipated massive sugar rush that kept me going well into my P.E. class of school now I get a headache combined with the undeniable urge to puke. I was the kid who always licked the frosting bowl clean, so when recently presented with a ton of icing left over from making The Scribblers some morning cinnamon rolls; I did what any self respecting bowl licker would do. I indulged. As I am fighting the rollercoaster of Blech-ville, I have learned I'm just too old for this...
  2. Walking barefoot on the driveway. When I was a child I could swiftly transitioned from grass to asphalt, mud to concrete, sand to gravel as if it was nothing. My feet carried me with little regard to what material was under them. These days if my arches come close to gravel or heat, I do the crouch and prancing pony walk. My body believes that by crouching slightly at the waist and pony prancing that perhaps my feet will make less contact with the offending surface. This does NOT work and I have learned I'm just too old for this...
  3. Being outside in extreme temperatures. I would run like a gazelle in 100+ degrees and roll in the snow like a deprived Polar Bear when I was a kid. Hours upon hours in extreme weather never phased me. What I lacked in common sense, I made up for in enthusiasm to just be outside. Now days when the temps hit 90 I find myself pulling a Wicked Witch Of The West scene...."I'm melting" (insert nasally witchy awesome voice) and when the temps dip below 40, I channel my inner elderly person and bundle like an Eskimo and make plans for a community lifestyle in Florida (I even found an awesome gold metallic tracksuit to wear) I have learned I'm just too old for this...
  4. Staying up late to eat snacks and watch a movie. After spending the past 5 years with some form of newborn/teething/bedtime potty training routine, I just don't have it in my to stay up late anymore. With the ever growing "mom spread", I don't do the snacky thing so much either. (Unless it contains copious amounts of fiber. Ice cream sundae = bad. Bran muffin = good) Every now and then, I try to have a surprise movie night with The Scribblers and break all the mom rules. Before the first opening sequence of the movie, I begin doing the math in my head of how much sleep I can hope to get. My brain whirs through the numbers like Scrooge counting his precious coins. I mourn every minute into the movie of precious snoozes that I will never get back. Sleep has become a hot commodity for me. While trying to choke down some chocolate syrup and sprinkles as the movie drags by, I have learned I'm just too old for this...
Is there anything that you have learned you are just too old for now? Tell me about it!!

7 comments:

Shell said...

The weather really gets to me. Can't stand extreme hot or cold. Feel sick in really hot weather.

Though, I do still walk around barefoot.

By Word of Mouth Musings said...

Oh you are SO not old, now come and talk to me about being old ...
I am with you on the hot and the cold, grew up in Africa so the whole bare feet thing doesn't bother me as much, I love junk food,
and I never sleep, maybe its an early menopausal thing! ;)

Leontien said...

hahah i agree you SO NOT old!!! Those things just happen! I bet you can do a lot of thing now that you coudn't do before!!!

Thanks for sharing
Leontien

Liz said...

this makes me think of how we used to go to the bars and then thru McD's 24 hour drive thru at midnight. :)

Beth Zimmerman said...

All of the above! I'd have to think too hard to come up with any additions but I was nodding in agreement the whole way through this post! :)

hastaclaridad said...

I have to watch how late into the night I eat or drink anything. Either it'll keep me up late or I'll have to wake up 2 or 3 times to go pee! It's ridiculous! Oh, and also, another sign you're getting old: getting irritated by how disrespectful teenagers can be and how they treat their parents. Just seeing them do it annoys me!

Kindred Adventures said...

I have actually found that it is all relative! While I (like you) can't seem to stay up late to do anything on the weekends anymore (unless I take a nap) I have also found the I am more willing to try new and different things as I (and my kids) grow older. They are not the same as the things I used to do simply different. Oh and yeah that whole heat thing... yuck! -Laverne

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails