Frustrating Things

It's been a while since I did a sing along, so today's post will be a sing along of "These are a few of my frustrating things" done to the tune of "My Favorite Things"

Raining like crazy,
A forgotten umbrella.
The bread has gone stale,
An empty jar of Nutella.
The fighting and crying, sobbing and shrieking,
These are a few of my frustrating things.

The fridge door left open,
The bathroom floor soakin.
Sharpie marks on the wall,
Toys littering the hall
The toilet's stopped up by one pair of angel wings.
These are a few of my frustrating things.

When the kids won't come
Even though dinners done.
When I am screaming mad.
I simply remember my frustrating things
And then I threaten them with Dad.

The baby has gas;
Someone tracked in cut grass.
The floor now needs mopping,
There is no time for shopping.
The fresh cut on my foot from the Legos still stings.
These are a few of my frustrating things.

I've said "No" so many times,
I think I have lost count.
There's not enough zeros.
In the savings account.
The minivan's covered by grocery cart dings
These are a few of my frustrating things.

When the kids won't come
Even though dinners done.
When I am screaming mad.
I simply remember my frustrating things
And then I threaten them with Dad.

You have anything you want to add today?

Blogging During Naptime

I've had some people criticize ask me how on earth do I manage to blog with 3 small children, 2 Grays, 1 husband and a partridge in a pear tree. Well let me sing you a little song about it...

Blogging During Naptime
(to the tune of "Walking After Midnight" by Patsy Cline)

I go blogging
During Naptime
The kids are tucked in
And there's not much else to do
So I go blogging
During Naptime
Reading about you.

I search for links
About families
And end up reading a blog about vintage shoes
I still go blogging
During Naptime
Reading about you.

I read a post about a mother
Making her own butter,
Then I read a new razor review
I entered another contest
Read about how to treat a guest
Then it was back to the vintage shoes.

I still go blogging
During naptime
The kids are just fine
And there is not much else to do
I still go blogging
During naptime
Searching for you.

Sing Along Time

I've Got Kids With Dirty Faces

(to the tune of "I've Got Friends In Low Places" by Garth Brooks)

Cash in on your bets,

I showed up in sweats.

And ruined your playdate affair.

You hoped I wouldn't go,

You prayed I wouldn't show.

I still managed to be there.

I saw your surprise,

And the fear in your eyes,

When my kids started throwing some dirt.

I laughed at you

And said you should laugh too,

You moms are just way too uptight...

Oh, I've got kids with dirty faces,

They're loud and rough

And trip over shoelaces

And they're OK

Well, I'm not big on designer clothes

My kid sometimes digs in her nose

But they're just fine

And having a good time.

Keep rolling your eyes,

Talk about all you buy.

Yeah, I've seen that before.

It's all for show

And we all know

What goes on behind closed doors

You're no better than me

You can try to disagree

Your angel is now throwing dirt

Come out of your tower

Enjoy this last hour

Having fun is not going to hurt

Oh, I've got kids with dirty faces,

They're loud and rough

And trip over shoelaces

And they're OK

Well, I'm not big on designer clothes

My kid sometimes digs in her nose

But they're just fine

And having a good time.

Mama Went To The Bathroom

Done to the tune of Devil Went Down To Georgia

A momma went to the bathroom, she was looking for a quiet place to steal,
She was in a bind to find some "Me" time then she slipped on a banana peel,
And she came across a toddler laughing, splashing and making banana soup in the pot.
Mama's face turned bright red and she screamed, "Girl, let me tell you what."

I guess you didn't know but I need this bathroom too,
If you'd care to stop this cooking, I'll make a deal with you.
Now you can be good as gold, but give this mama a quiet minute.
I promise when I come back out, I won't mention the banana in it.

The girl said "My name is Belly and it might not be smart"
"But I'll take your deal and leave you alone and trust the yellin' won't start"

Belly, you'd better leave the room and scurry on your way,
Cause Mama's had a time and it's been a real bad day.
Give your Mama a minute so she can clear her mind,
And hope that she forgets to paddle your behind....

Belly opened up the bathroom door and she began to run,
Laughter shot from her mouth as she knew what she had done.
As Mama sat on the side of the tub there came a horrible sound
And Belly knew her time was numbered because of what Mama just found.

When Mama came out, Belly said,
You promised me no swat
So sit in that rocker there
Cause I know that I've been caught

Banana in the toilet, stew fruit stew.
The carrots and your clothes are making a brew.
Shaving cream and lotiony soap
Take a breath, Mama...I know you can cope.

The Mama bowed her head because she knew that she'd been beat.
Her resolve to paddle disappeared when she heard that voice so sweet.
Belly said, "I love you momma and I tried so hard to be good,
I was cooking for you just like a good momma would"

And she said

Banana in the toilet, stew fruit stew.
The carrots and your clothes are making a brew.
Shaving cream drips from above.
I am trying to show you all my love...

Mama M's Song

(done to Zac Brown Band's Toes)

I got my toes in the carpet, butt in my chair,
There's puke on my shirt, candy stuck in my hair.
Kids are wild today, Kids are wild today.

Well the baby woke up about 2 o'clock
And the bottle is cold in my hand
Visions of shopping dance in my head
And I standing by the empty coffee pot
Binkies and swings, dollies and blocks are the life that I'm livin in.
I am calling for the father,
The tubs overflowing water
And I'm not going in there again.

I got cheetos on the carpet, stains on the chair,
I can't find a clean shirt and haven't brushed my hair.
Kids are wild today, Kids are wild today.

Adios and someone please save me,
Yeah, I'm going insane.
And if it weren't for the legos and screaming babies
I'd have no reason to wake.
Adios can somebody hear me?
I am losing my brain.
Gonna lay on the carpet and stare at the ceiling
Hope that someone takes me away.

I got tape on my mouth, and arrows in my hair.
My wrists are bound and I am tied to my chair.
Kids are wild today, Kids are wild today.

You Make Me Want To Shout!

Well..............
You know you make me want to SHOUT!
Pull my hair out and SHOUT!
Stomp my feet now and SHOUT!
Put a pillow over my mouth and SHOUT!
Come on now GET OUT!
Please quit sassing me with that mouth!
Don't tell me "NO" or I am going to SHOUT!

Got you singing didn't I? Not me...I am trying not to SHOUT!



It's a phase right? Tell me, swear to me, promise me, convince me this is a phase.

The sweet little girl with a sassy mouth is just a phase. I will repeat that to myself until I believe it. (Much like I have finally convinced myself that Reese's Cups are the perfect source for protein, iron and dairy)

Phases. Boy, we have seen a lot of them in this short 3 years and 10 months of raising two children.

• The strange eating phase. Brown foods only - peanut butter, chicken, etc. The love of pepperoni and peanut butter sandwiches. The no food can touch thing. Eating the dog food like it's gourmet (that one did my confidence some good) Drink only out of a green cup.
• I am a dog phase - Once again, eating dog food (At least they have shiny hair and a healthy digestive tract) panting, barking, scratching and the licking...eww, the licking. Did I mention the chihuahua like barking that was NON-STOP! Have I ever mentioned that Buzz has had a piece of twine hanging from the back of her panties for 4 months now? Yeah, I don't like to talk about it much.
  
• The clothing phases - Does anyone remember the pink dress incident from my old blog? (You can find it here)
• Random strangeness - The oldest won't sleep in her room for fear that the bunny who lives under the bed will nibble her toes off while she sleeps (Huh?) The youngest is obsessed with wearing panties on her head (and nothing else) WonderPets wonderment (What's it gonna take...TEAMWORK) Barney (Thank heaven we are over that one already) The youngest likes to hear the sound of herself gagging and does it frequently. The oldest must have two handfuls of toilet paper when doing "The Deed." One she uses for "Down Under" and the other is used to cover her nose. (I can appreciate that)

So, what phase just makes you want to SHOUT?