This is why we can't have nice things...

Between having kids, dogs and Murphy Law there is no way that we can ever have nice things.

These are not my kids. My kids would be dead or at least military school. This is from Google Images.

I have learned many lessons about this type of thing with my kids.

1. A toilet bowl will effectively flush up to 16 squares of double-ply before running over into the floor.
2. A plastic Wonder Pet is equal to 17 squares of double-ply.
3. A couch cushion will temporarily hide a nasty pull-up from a mother who thought potty training was almost over.
4. Sitting on couch cushion will squish the pull-up like a mustard packet.
5. A ziplock baggie full of plastic toys is a rare treasure that must be hidden from siblings
6. A 2 year old thinks that a cold oven is the best place to hide the treasure.
7. A mother must learn to check the oven for treasures before preheating to 450.
8. Plastic figurines will melt at 250 and will become dripping molten lava at 450.
9. If you choose to purchase a 25lb of flour and 25lb of sugar make sure they can be locked up and away from kids.
10. 50lbs of dry goods will fill up 3.5 vacuum bags.
11. Dawn dish washing liquid makes excellent bubbles for a bubble bath.
12. Small children understand the mechanics of turning a faucet on but not off.
13. An upstairs sink is the best place to try out "The Great Fountain and River of Bubbles 2010"
14. Peanut butter, honey and jelly should all have child proof tops like prescription drugs.
15. Spoons magically disappear from the drawer.
16. Dogs like the taste of plastic blocks, Little People and paper towels
17. A paper towel roll showed by a dog will actually spread evenly over 2500 square feet.
    

Why can't you have nice things??