Toothpicks please

Sleep deprivation is SO cool! It allows me to do all the nutty stuff (I normally do anyways) but I get a free pass...an excuse.

Put the ice cream in the cupboard instead of the freezer. No problem.
Found dirty socks on top of the headboard. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Pour a sippy cup of Wesson oil instead of apple juice. Those darn bottles look just alike!

Life with a newborn is so cool! I get all the snuggles that I want and I don't have to chase someone down and bribe them with M&Ms. There is no such thing as too snuggly of a baby, unless of course you need a shower (EPA shows up at your door with a pollution fine) needing to drive somewhere or trying to eat a massively messy sandwich. (Although I don't think that glob of sauce and pickle that landed on her forehead bothered her one little bit. The 2 year old that licked it off kinda "icked" me out though)

The girls have adjusted well to their new sister...picture proof
And we have adjusted to a newborn as parents without using toothpicks on our eyelids...picture proof
We have a little concern as Bitsy's bilirubin levels are rising instead of falling like they are supposed to. We will go back in tomorrow morning for a recheck and the outcome of that lab will determine whether or not we do light therapy. My peditrician (who is the best!) has already arranged for us to do the therapy at home if we need to.

I have found it funny the amount of people who consider children to be like Matchbox cars or Beanie Babies. It seems that if you have more than one of a certain gender then you must not have a complete set. After hearing it is my third girl, I keep getting asked "So will you be trying for a boy now?"

Other than the fact that my house looks like the inside of a Pepto Bismal bottle, why would we want to try for the other gender? My husband always wanted to be a ladies' man and with 4 girls clamboring for his lap and sweet talking him, why on earth would he want a boy?

The house is busting at the seams with frills, lace, dollies, hair bows and pink stuff...I wouldn't want it any other way.

Anyways, back to Bitsy (still working on the labor story, I swear!) she is doing very well (except for that bilirubin thing) nurses very well (and very often!) She had only lost 1 ounce at her doctor visit today (told you she was eating well!!!) She is a very laid back, quiet baby (unless you try to set her down) and has the sweetest smelling skin EVAH!! Bug and Belly love having a real life baby doll and actually fight over who gets to put the butt bombs in the trash and who gets to hand Mommy the wipes. They love singing to her, rubbing her hair (I am suprised she has any left at this point) and shaking rattles for her.

The only "incident" we have had so far was Bug was NOT using her "Baby Sleeping" voice and was "forced" to hold the screaming baby that she woke up for a few minutes. Since that moment, both girls have a good healthy respect for the "Baby Sleeping" voice and go to great lengths to avoid waking Bitsy up.

As far as I go...I am doing well. Tired and sore (totally expected) and not one sign of "Baby Blues" (How could you get the blues with this much pink in the house!) I have enjoyed my time of "taking it easy" and getting back to a normal life (after being pregnant for like 18 months!) I am loving sleeping on my stomach again and having Victoria Secret boobs again (sorry male readers, but its the truth!) I am in total awe of this new life and blessing that God has given us. Ain't babies so cool! I actually adore those moments at 3 am pacing and rocking that 6lb bundle, because I look at the older two girls and realize those sweet moments pass all too quickly.

Anways, that's all for now. Hopefully tomorrow I can get the birth story up. We should also have her test results back by noon, so I will have an update about that as well!

Toodle-oo!

They Say Its Your Birthday

Twas two days after Christmas and early in the morn,

We received another blessing as our third daughter was born.

Hopefully in the next few days, I can fill you all in with all the details...but for now I leave you a few pictures as I have a newborn baby that needs some snuggling.

Merry Christmas

I wanted to write a quick post and tell all of you, "Merry Christmas" I consider our friendship through the year to be a wonderful gift.
Thank you for your love, support, friendship, advice and all the laughs we have shared.

Update

Just a quick update for those who are baby stalking. I went to the OB today and have moved to 3.5 (barely) dilated. Bigfoot is still "high".
If I have not delivered by the 30th we will induce at that point.
There is an end in sight and a baby on the way.
Oh, to be smelling newborn skin right this minute *sigh*

The First Birth

So I got to thinking about pregnancy and birth (logical thoughts right now, huh?) I was talking to The Man about my OB and all the prenatal stuff. He might have nodded off a couple of times or been playing a game on his cell phone, I can't be sure so we will give him the benefit of the doubt that he was really interested in what I had to say. (Yeah, I will go with that)

I started thinking about The First Birth and what that must have been like for The First Parents. According to The Bible that I have read and from what I have heard...the only instructions/advice/warnings/etc. that God gave Eve for childbirth was (this is a loose interpretation) "It's gonna hurt ya girl!" I saw no conversations about the "birds & bees", conception, gestation, labor and delivery. Can you just imagine the thoughts and conversations that went on back then?

Adam: "Eve, you are really starting to put on some weight. You may want to cut back on those figs and dates"

Eve: "God, what is going on with me?...."what's a baby"...."how does it get out"...."it comes out WHERE?"..."How big does it get?"..."9 months? what's a month?"

Adam: "Eve, we have a boy" "Yes dear, everything is fine except for this tail that comes out of his stomach"

Eve: "Adam, do not ever touch me again" "It's your turn to change the leaf"

Paging Mr. Laughter...where are you?

Holy Cheetos in pickle juice, my friends. What is it about the last few weeks of pregnancy that just really annihilates everything about you that makes you "YOU" (That's a lot of yous...youses...whatever)

Not only is Bigfoot draining my body of calcium, sleep and energy; now it appears she has taken over my funny bone (which is only right since it feels she is carved her initals - if she could spell, write and even see clearly - in every single rib. What's one more bone?)

Laughter used to be what ran my household. Laughter was the crazy glue that held us together. Laughter is cheap and easy.

Laughter is becoming scarce.

My oldest has taken to waddling around the house, holding her lower back and muttering over and over about how "sausted" she is. (Way to set an example, Mom!)

Tickle wars are a thing of the past since 1.) I can't manage to get into the floor before the gnat-like attention span of The Littles has moved on to examining what treasures are collecting under the couch cushions 2.) I don't like participating in the rib poking because of the aforementioned engraved ribs.

I know...I know...It will be over soon and life will resume back to normal, but what memories am I leaving my children with this Christmas. A super-bloated Grinch? Geez...that's just swell (pun intended, of course!)

I am trying to pull my head out of wherever it is crammed, trying to participate with all my incredibly witty friends and family, trying to come up with some one line zingers to gain my husband's appreciation (who is the funniest darn person I have ever met) considering mime acts and slipping on banana peels to illicite some giggles from The Littles; but it is much like the Magician who pulls a 56 page tax audit out of his top hat instead of a bunny...

Not funny!

I don't need pity (although I will take the party part!) I just need some understanding and probably some new material. I beg, plead, barter and bribe that you all just hang loose and bear with me during this dry spell on my blog. Soon enough I will flood your retinas until they bleed and roll over/play dead with new pictures of a wrinkled, screaming poop machine. Then once the delirium of sleep deprivation begins to lift, I will get you back to your scheduled program.

Thankyouverymuch!

On a side note, apparently Bigfoot took over my spelling ability as well....it took spell check a full 30 minutes to show me every mistake. It then sighed and crashed.

Nice!

FQF

So sorry I am late on my 5QF. Today we started off the day taking Buzz shopping with her Mimi for a little belated 4 year old birthday party goodness. There was shopping, merry-go-round rides (Mommy got a little green on that one) a Santa sighting, lunch and cookies. Good times! Then I got home and The Man got me a 22 oz porterhouse, baked potato and salad. I ate every last bit. There is still warm Texas blood in these veins yet.

ANYWHO....5QF
Here are the rules in Mama M's "voice"

For the "newbies", who are joining in on Five Question Friday (welcome!! It's what all the cool peeps do! ;) Fo' shiz!!)...here's the rules: Copy and paste the following questions to your blog, answer them, grab the MckLinky code (or not...) and link up (a must!!!)!! I would be your best friend forever if you'd link back to Mama M.!!

If you don't have a blog, but wanna join in...feel free to leave your answers in the comments below!

Here we go...

Questions for Friday, December 18th: (Thanks to Kyrsten, Liz, Brianne, and Keely for their question suggestions!! Wanna be linked on a future 5QF? Offer up some questions on the thread in my community!)

1. Which boygroup did you like most in your teens?

NKOTB. Was there any others? There was nothing like crackin' the voice to "Please Don't Go Girl" Even as a teenage girl I couldn't hit notes that high!

2. Do you do Christmas cards, letters, photos, nuthin', all of the above?

Normally I do cards with a picture, but this year is looking a bit shaky. So if I have your address, I apologize at this point for the fact that I can't seem to get anything together and get them sent out in a timely fashion.
I have failed.

3. If you could meet one celebrity who would it be and why?

There was no specification here on alive or dead celebrities, so I am going to have to stick with The Duke. My hero, My man!

4. Favorite thing to cook with (i.e. stainless, non-stick, Dutch oven, microwave, debit card...or, perhaps, a cauldron, etc.)?

Cast iron baby! I love the way it cooks plus it adds a little extra iron into your food.

5. What is the one thing you wear the most, besides your unmentionables?

I have these black pants and they make my backside look fantabulous (at least to me) They have the perfect balance of give and take and I WON'T be without them, EVAH! I actually own 6 pairs of these.

Light a candle for Cora

I had seen some Twitter updates that one of my friends (@LisaCurcio) was sending out concerning lighting a candle for someone named Cora. It took about 6 times of the same tweet before I finally started checking into it.

I urge you to read the story of Cora and then go right here to light a virtual candle in memory of her life and the impact she had on those who loved her. As a mother my heart broke with Cora's mother, as a mother to a child who was once labeled a "heart baby" I grieved even heavier. Just like Belly, Cora's heart condition was undetected at birth. Unlike my Belly's condition, Cora's was fatal and she left this earth for her Father's arms after just 5 days.

Lighting this candle is doing two things. 1.) It's lit in honor of Baby Cora's life. 2.) It's wrapping our arms around Cora's mother and family, letting them know that we know and are grieving with her.

Thanks Ladies!

(wo)MAN ON FIRE!

For the past few weeks I have been suffering from blocked up nose, runny nose, headaches, etc. All the great things that come with temps going from 60 to 20 back to 60 back to 20 in a 5 day stretch. Not wanting to pump too many meds in my body, I found this bath oil that claims almost instant cold & sinus relief when poured into a warm bath.

See where it says underneath that little medical symbol (which is only there so you trust the product to heal what ails you) 94.9% naturally derived? I know it's tiny and you have to squint, but trust me that what it says. You want to know what the other percentage is...acid. Straight skin burning, mutilating acid.

I am not a direction reader. I throw away manuals and scoff at instructions. If I were to read directions, I would have probably known that a couple of tbsp of this stuff was enough in a bathtub that size of an Olympic sized pool.

I did mention that my nose has been really stopped up, haven't I? I mean like, find me a miniature jack hammer kind of stopped up.

So half the bottle should fix it, right?!?

I ran as hot of a bath as I could possibly stand (and wouldn't roast baby in utero) and glugged that stuff right in there. I figured out quickly that it wasn't steam rising from my bath, but chemical fumes.

I did try to read the directions at this point, but the natural ingredients of menthol and eucalyptus was causing my eyes to involuntarily shut and to water enough that my tears alone caused the bath tub water level to rise 3 inches.

Then the "floodgates" opened and I could breathe! It did burn to suck in air through my nose, but maybe my nose just wasn't accustomed to working so just ignore it.

I sat down in the brew and noticed a strange tingling on the submerged parts of my body.

A tingling that turned into a mild burning warmth.

Did I mention that I have sensitive skin. That's probably pretty noteworthy at this point, but much like my bath...it was an afterthought.

The mild burning warmth turned quickly into a fiery "Oh My Goodness What Have I Done" (Because I know I have male readers I will refrain from the girly bit damage, but trust me ladies...avoid this product around sensitive areas)

I jumped up (yeah...I know...jumping up at 9 months pregnant. NOT!) and turned on the shower to straight cold water. After about a good 20 minute rinse cycle I got all the oils off my skin.

I now have hives.

Everywhere.

I can't even reach 2/3rds of the places I have hives.

On a bright note, my nose is clear.

The Shirt

I may have discovered the delay in Baby Bigfoot's entry into this world. Well, technically The Man brought it to my attention in a hysterical, very feminine fit.

You see there is this shirt. It's an ugly shirt that I found for $1 as kind of a gag.

Did I mention it was ugly?

Anyways for some reason he has worn this same shirt at the birth of each of the girls. We are not superstitious people, so I don't quite understand the hysterics that ensued today.

It seems that The Man went to look for the shirt (for sentimental reasons since he is just THAT way *rolls eyes*) and noticed that 1.) a button was missing 2.) it was heavily wrinkled from being crammed (where I hid it in case he felt compelled to wear it out in public when I am with him) in the back of the closet.

According to The Man's Law, this shirt must be in good repair and pressed RIGHT NOW before Baby Bigfoot enters the world.

It is kind of sweet (although I will never admit this to him) that he insists on having the same shirt. It is kind of difficult when looking through pictures of him with a fresh out of the oven newborn to know which child he is holding. With pictures of me with one of the girls, it's real easy to tell which child I am holding by my face. Child #1 was a long labor with no epidural except for the last 3 minutes of the birth. (face is drenched in sweat, red from crying, tear streaks and I think there are some flecks of foam on my chin from screaming at the anesthesiologist) Child #2 was an easy labor with a epidural given in a timely manner. I look so much more relaxed and refreshed. (I am actually smiling during the labor)

So it appears that I will be donning the bifocals and repairing this shirt tonight.

Perhaps Baby Bigfoot will realize the significance of the pressed, ready-to-wear shirt and get back to the business of being born.


Is there anything that is particularly sentimental or a habit that you and your family have done to welcome a new child into the family?

Not Me Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

• Because of the impending delivery of daughter #3, I did not go to the grocery store and stock up on $412 worth of frozen dinners to save my kitchen time postpartum.
• I did not allow my other two children to eat PopTarts while I was shopping to keep them happy.
• I did not consume a PopTart myself for the sake of possible low blood sugar (which may or may not have been true - always have an alibi)
• I did not get to my turn to check out and pull out a pair of my husband's boxers to discover my wallet was not in there.
• I did not beg and plead with management to let me go ahead and take groceries and return to pay for them when I got all the frozen goods put away.
• I did not play the sympathy card and turn on the water works all while rubbing my very swollen baby belly.
• I did not go to the extent of offering the super cranky two year old as collateral while I ran home to grab my wallet.
• I did not leave the store and travel the whole 25 minutes back to the house (all while calculating the defrost time of a Bertolli chicken pasta dinner in a bag) and get stuck in line waiting for a train to pass.
• My oldest child did not learn the correct usage of the "D" cuss word while we were waiting.
• I did not finally make it home 35 minutes later, calculate another 25 minutes to get back and decide that the frozen chicken dinners were probably close to the spoiling point.
• I did not make the executive decision to go to the next store that was in a 30 mile radius to repurchase all items rather than show my face and collect possible spoiled goods.
• I did not finally make it home with paid for groceries (after then spending $532 because they were not on sale at the new store) only to order pizza for the next two days.
  

Five on Friday!

I missed last Friday's questions and you know what??? It just felt wrong. I look forward to these each week that are hosted by Mama M and I encourage you to click on the button above and play along.

Questions for Friday, December 12th, '09: Thanks to Liz, Tyler, and Adrienne...and Mama M. Wanna throw out a question suggestion for a future Five Question Friday? Check out the discussion here

1. Does Santa wrap the presents he leaves at your house?

Well this year he will probably just leave them in the Toys R Us bag, because Santa is a little preoccupied and can't seem to get his stuff together. But in previous years, he leaves his big red velvet bag beside the fireplace with the stuff he brings for the girls. Each present has a picture of the child attached to it (for easy recognition since they can't read yet) and plenty of candy canes. Last year, he left his gloves and we had to send them back along with a thank you card for all the good stuff we got.

2. When is your "big" Christmas celebration...Christmas Eve or Christmas Day? Tell us about it...

I think Christmas festivities last for about 24 hours in our family. Christmas Eve night we read "The Night Before Christmas" and bake Santa's cookies. The girls open their ornament for that year and a new pair of pajamas. Then we get out the previously baked small Birthday Cake and read about the Baby Jesus' birth and celebrate his birthday. Early (like before the worms come out for the early bird to get) we wake up and see what Santa brought us and open other presents. Then we fly to the van and take off the grandparents' houses to see what other goodies await us.

3. Are you big on keeping tradition every year?

Well...if you don't keep it, it's not tradition...is it?

4. Do colored lights or white lights tickle your fancy?

I like the big old fashioned colored bulbs. The ones that are as big as a nightlight bulb. Oh...and twinkle...they must twinkle!

5. Do you decorate outside your house for Christmas?

I use a simple wreath for the front door, some garland around the porch rails and a snowman figure that lights up. That's it. I am fully aware that I am a procrastinator and know that if I were to put lights up around the house, they would not come down until June. Since I don't want to be THAT person in the neighborhood, I don't set myself up for failure.

Happy Birthday Buzz!!

My precious daughter,

My goodness how you have grown and blossomed in four years. The little girl you have grown into inspires and humbles me. Your eagerness to learn, your sympathy towards others, your hilarious sense of humor, your gentleness to the weak, your strength in leadership with your little sister, your amazing sense of responsibility and your patience with me.

I love to watch you dress up in all of your "party dresses" complete with at least 16 necklaces, 20 bracelets, rings for every finger and bows in your hair. I love to watch you grit your teeth and try to climb that tree you keep falling out of. I was amazed watching you with your baby ducks and your dog; the gentleness you showed and the maturity of your care for the helpless. You bring me to tears when you worry about your little sister and the littlest sister still in my belly. You patch up boo-boos, offer hugs and hover until you are sure that everything is "all better"

Still being a late talker, we have struggled with communication with each other. Sure there have been many times of angry tears from both of us at not being able to get the other to understand, but you have showed an amazing patience in doing whatever you can to help me understand what you are trying to tell me. Despite not being able to verbalize what you want, you have managed to show us an amazing imagination, humor and perception towards life.

Sometimes I may seem frustrated at the many nights you crawl into bed with me, but those times when you cuddle to me and I feel your soft sighs on my skin...I would not trade that for anything in the world. From the time you were born, I slept with your fingers tangled in my hair more often than not. As you continue to gain independence and I struggle to push you towards that independence, I hope you know how much I treasure those quiet moments together and I how much I am saddened by knowing one day they will end as you become a young woman.

I love you, my precious daughter. My greatest blessing in this world is you calling me "Mom"

CatchUp with a side of cake.

So back to the weekend in which I went dark and promised to tell what we did...

With all that had been going on with getting the house ready for selling, getting it on the market, looking for a new stompin' ground, Christmas preparations, etc. The Man and I realized that we had gotten too busy with life and were not living life. We decided to cut ourselves off from outside distractions and get back to the basics of enjoying our little family before more chaos enters it.

I made some sugar cookies (you can see some pictures from that about 3 entries ago) and let me tell ya...I am no baker. I can grill, fry, saute' broil, roast, but somehow my inner Betty Crocker is either illiterate in reading recipes or I may actually have a *gasp* shortcoming (sayitisn'tso) The fortunate thing with these cookies were they were so hard that the little ones had no problem handling them to apply their artisitc icing decorations. Not a single cookie broke, although I think one may have chipped a couple of teeth and the tile on the floor.

Not to be outdone by that failure, I brought it upon myself to tackle a homemade cake. Well...to be honest, I settled for a box of mix and a can of frosting. Baby steps, baby steps. I did, however, make it at home...thus, it IS homemade. This was a much more successful attempt in my Betty Crocker Cooking for Dummies lessons and after a wonderful dinner, we sat down to enjoy the cake. The girls saw cake and demanded birthday candles. Then they cried for the birthday song. I have no idea whose birthday we were celebrating, but the adoration shining in their eyes for the baker mom with trick "no-blow-out" candles was A.W.E.S.O.M.E! I think we are going to have to schedule a official "Non-birthday" party once a month. It sure did the soul good.

We spent most of the days and nights of the weekend with every fuzzy blanket and every fluffy pillow we own piled in the living room in front of the fireplace. There was non-stop movies and the hot chocolate flowed as freely as the love. It was a wonderful time of relaxation and reconnection.

This week has proved itself to be a hectic, running face first into a brick wall start. The schedule for the rest of the week is as follows (God willing and the creek don't rise or the babe gets birthed)

• Wednesday - OB appointment to follow up on contractions/dilation/whatevertheheckisgoingon. Christmas present wrapping and cake baking.
  
• Thursday - Bug's 4th birthday party at home with MORE CAKE and present time.
• Friday - another OB appointment to follow up on Wednesday's appointment and see where we stand. Dentist appointment for both girls (I would rather have my teeth pulled personally) Bake bread and deliver it to our two elderly neighbors who keep us supplied in tomatoes and good advice.
• Saturday - shopping with Mimi for the 4yr olds birthday and probably 10 rounds on the merry-go-round per Buzz's request.
• Sunday - church and visit with Pops and Nana for Buzz's birthday

Until we meet again...Toodles!

Hurry Up and Wait!

Talk about something that is exasperating, frustrating, aggravating and such!! We are now in a holding pattern of "Hurry up and wait!"

After a long night in Labor & Delivery with "Something" going on, but "Nothing" happening. I decided to just go home. (To clear up the "hissy fit" comment...thanks dear!) They were wanting to try a stronger drug but this was not on MY doctor's orders but the OB on call. I was not comfortable with this and after telling them numerous times that I would not take it...I just went home and called my OB this morning. I went in and watched as more "Something" and "Nothing" happened and we made a game plan.

It's obvious that I am in labor.

It's also obvious she is not interested in coming right now.

Then again...maybe she is...(see what I mean...FRUSTRATING)

Since I am not yet to my due date, we don't really see a rush in getting her here. She is passing the stress tests just fine and kicks and heartbeat are beautiful.

I will remain at home unless something major happens (contractions become stronger or closer than the 3-5 min. span we are seeing, water breaks, baby doesn't move well or my skin turns purple with orange polka dots)

Wednesday I will go in for a steroid shot to help with lung development, just in case she is wanting to come right now. We are waiting until Wednesday because I would like my husband to be able to be home and that is just the day he can do it.

At this point we will not rush labor or stop it with any more medications. Just whatever happens...happens.

I won't lie to you, my friends...I am quite uncomfortable, frustrated and tired. There is a light though...I can't stay pregnant forever, so I have hope.

I mean...I can't...can I? Forever?

*sigh*

Update

This is the husband.
She went into the hospital at 11pm last night for some pretty strong contractions. She was contracting every 3-4 min and dilated to a 3. Because she was not as far along as what her doctor wanted they gave her 3 shots of terbuline to slow down labor. It did not work so they held her to monitor progress. They offered magnesium sulfate to slow it down and she refused. At 4 am they offered it again and she ended up walking out and coming home. It seems she ended up having a hissy fit. Because of baby's position the doctor feels that this is going to be a long labor. Wrangler is more comfortable with the idea of being at home at this point. I will update at her request what is going on until baby's arrival. It seems we have a body that is willing and a baby that is not ready.
She thanks you for your prayers and concern.

Brief Interruption

We interrupt this family time to bring you some pictures from our Christmas cookie decorating time.


And a bonus picture for those who logged in....probably the last picture that will be taken before Baby Bigfoot comes!

This Weekend

I will be "going dark" (Thanks to my tweet friends with providing me with this term...well, you and the great Jack Bauer)
It's going to be a busy weekend as we get some things done around the house, spend some quality time as a family and I am going to help The Man get some of his work done.
Hope you and yours have a fabulous weekend and I will see ya'll on the flip side.

V and nothing but V

So this fabulous lady over at All A Bunch Of Momsense did this post about a "V" birth compared to a "C" birth. She invited us to tell our stories on our own blogs (plus she gave me props and has promised me some serious beef) So to all my male readers: click that small "X" in the right hand corner. Moms and female readers...you know where this is going.

I have only had "V" births, meaning pushing that precious bundle through miles of muscle, tissue and bones. As opposed to a "C" birth of gently lifting your bundle out of a gaping man made cavity.

Let me say here and now, that I will tolerate no comments about one being a "natural" birth over another method. No matter how you slice it (snort) or push it, it's natural. Your body grew this bundle, nourished it and prepared it for life outside; however it makes its entrance is of little consequence. I don't think God looks at us when we are entering heaven and says, wait...that was not a natural entrance. He welcomes us all the same (although I do believe he shakes his head in disbelief over the bungee cord accidents and electric radio on the side of the tub people - not meaning to offend any readers who know someone who has gone that way, I am just sayin...)

Anyways, birth...

So far, I have had nothing but "V" births. (I'll let you know in a couple of weeks if I am still a 100% V gal)

First daughter was mostly un-medicated. Mostly. This was not by my choice but due to a rush on the nurses and anesthesiologist as all 40 women on the floor decided to deliver within about an hour of each other. In this case, those who screamed the loudest got their meds first. If I had known that I would have taken the leather strap out of my mouth and the pillow off my face. As it turned out the moment my epidural was inserted and before it kicked in, I had "The Ring Of Fire" (insert dramatic swell of music) For those who have not heard of that, it where you get this wonderful burning sensation right at the point of baby exit. (If that lady who dumped the coffee in her lap felt that way...no wonder she sued) Within 20 minutes, that bundle ripped her way out of my body and into the world. Perhaps I was spared the feeling of the ripping by the epidural...frankly I was too worn out from the 10 hours of labor to care what else happened to my body (I should have gotten that root canal done while I was at it) They shut the meds off right after the placenta (inner shudder at that word) was delivered and I spent the next hour regaining my feeling back so I could sit on the toilet like they wanted me to. At this point, all hospital personnel left me alone with instructions to only call if I passed a clot bigger than a tennis ball. Seriously...a tennis ball? Huge inner shudder!

Second daughter, I walked into the ER demanding my epidural right then and there. I was not going to be passed over again. This time, I got my wish and by the time I was at a 5, I was numb and taking a nap. It seemed like no time at all before they told me to push and wah-lah...another bundle. I had some horrible itching all over my body after delivery, but nothing other than that. Not even the dreaded tennis ball clot.

After both girls, I was up and moving within about 5 hours from birth and able to deal with the discomfort with little more than Tylenol. Honestly I did take a couple of the codeine pills, but only for recreational purposes and to be able to sleep through the other women wailing down the hall.

It took about 3 days from moment of exit to feel halfway normal. Well, if you can call engorged boobs and bleeding more than a...well...I can't think of anything to compare it to that has still lived.

You know what....this has been very theraputic for me. Here I was, anxious and antsy to get this new little pink bundle delivered to ease my bodily discomforts and after typing this up...I think I am good for a while. Yup, I am good. I may have some leg numbness, back pain, etc...but at least I am not passing clots big enough to be named and get a social security number.

Thankful Thursday!

When it is this time of day and you are a SAHM with 2 small children plus being 36 weeks pregnant...it's sometimes hard to be thankful for anything other than when the cuckoo clock strikes 8pm.
The Nut House helps us dedicate a day to finding what we are thankful for (besides that cuckoo) Click the link above to join in and read what others are thankful for.

Today I am thankful for my friends near and far. Sometimes there is nothing like a phone call from a friend (especially one who has small children running around and you get to hear her losing it!) to brighten up your day. Someone who takes the time to drop you a quick note in the mail (Whoot! I love getting something addressed to me that is not a bill or a key to a brand new car that I may have won) Someone who knows exactly what is going to make you laugh and what just pushed you over the edge. Someone who offers to give you bail money, passports and has a grand scheme of how to escape from it all. Someone who knows when you need advice and knows when to just be silent and hand over the cookie dough. Someone who actually remembers what your favorite color is and knows what TV show you are addicted to and will never call during that hour of cable bliss. Someone who is real enough to help you up when you fall, yet laugh hysterically while doing it because you were wearing granny panties. Someone who will never let you forget a moment, a joke, a laugh, a tear, a miracle or when you wore granny panties.

Thank you for my friends (that would probably be YOU!)

The Grossest Day Ever!

So this post over at The Nut House community got me to reliving the grossest thing that has ever happened to me.

True that I have 2 small children so there is no shortage of gross things that I have endured.

• projectile vomit caught in hands. Check.
• poop sprayed down the tank top by the cradled infant. Been there. Done that.
• stringy gobs of mucus spread everywhere. Got the t shirt (and burned it)

Being a mom means wiping nasties all day every day, but that is not The Grossest Thing ever.

For me, it was a really hot day. The kind of day that sweat from every pore. I woke up that morning and had to take our brand new (to us) puppy to the vet for his shots. While he ate his breakfast kibble (a lot of kibble, he was a very large breed dog) I got dressed and put on some shorts. We toddled off to the vet and he received all of his shots. As we traveled home, I noticed he began to pant heavily and whine.

Then some strange gurgling noises began to emit from him.

Gurgling = I am gonna throw up sounds.

Just like a human baby, he assumed if he got closer and laid his head on my lap; he might begin to feel better.

He was wrong.

So wrong.

The next thing I know, my lap is covered in partially digested kibbles.

Did I mention that I was wearing shorts?

It oozed and crept across my lap, into my shorts.

The smell, oh...the smell.

I lost all personal control, I hit the gas pedal and pushed my little car to 90mph in desperation to get home and GET IT OFF OF ME!

Through my watering eyes, a result of trying not to gag myself...I saw the worst. Blue lights. In my rear view mirror. Are you kidding me??????

I pulled over and the cop began the slow "checking it out" walk to my window. Very slow. Slower than slow.

He got to my window and looked down.

He turned, walked fast, got in his car and left.

I felt bulletproof with regurgitated kibble in my lap and proceeded to the homestead at 95mph. With no regard to modesty, I stripped in the driveway, threw the clothes in the trash and ran to the shower (at probably 95mph)

Now you know the grossest moment in my life. Ever.

Cave For Sale

So I am beginning to look for a cave for sale. Not to hold my family, it's all for me.
By myself.
Kind of like a getaway place.
Skip the Italian villa, I need rock walls and lint collecting activities.

I love my husband and kids.
Ilovethem.Ilovethem.Ilovethem (keep chanting it)
But I do not like them right now.

Their need for 3 meals a day plus snacks is getting unreasonable.
Do they realize that not everyone in the world wears clean clothes everyday? Be appreciative or learn to compromise.
Trying to see how many times we can make Mommy vacuum in a day is getting pretty old.
The constant chatter. The nonstop chatter. The ceaseless all. day. long. chatter.
The crying, wailing, ripping of clothes, gnashing of teeth...wait...that's me.

OK so its hormones. OK it will be over soon. Things will get back to a normal. We will all survive.
Wewillallsurvive. Wewillallsurvive. Wewillallsurvive. (keep chanting)

Until then I need a cave. A quiet cave.
Just for me.
To scream in.
To collect lint.
To get away from it all.
Just for now.

36 week reminders

There are parts of your pregnancy that you forget. I don't know if you are just so sleep deprived that it seems like a hallucination or if God gives you a brain enema so you will have another child. Anyways, these parts that have been flushed away from faint memories are coming back to me.

Makes me wonder what part of the whole newborn stage I have forgotten as well...

The first thing that started creeping up was "The Belly Button" All of a sudden one day I put on a shirt and "BAM" that cute little innie that I once possessed is now poking and stretching itself out like a turtle coming out of his shell.

I put on a heavier weight shirt. "POP" Yup, still detectable.

Sweater + undershirt. It's there.

Cover with bandaid. Now I have a big square sticking out. Can nothing contain this little fleshy beast from poking its head out? Seriously?

Next, we have the itching. The whole belly (which extends all the way behind to the spine) is now one big itchy globe. Lotion? Only if you can get it in a 55 gallon drum with an applicator.

Red palms anyone? I had to google that one because I figured I was the only pregnant freak who had flaming red palms. Turns out is a hormone thing.
Isn't EVERYTHING a hormone thing?
My hopes of being a case study and receiving thousands of dollars for my participation in the Red Palm Freak Show are dashed. It's not that odd to be caught red handed.

What about the mutating blob that is the belly? That point where you can see elbows and knees slowly rise from one side and glide to the other side. Some days it appears that I am only pregnant on the left side of my body, as Baby Bigfoot has migrated all of herself over there to play with that kidney. I am still trying to locate her bladder within my body, so I can poke it over and over and teach her all about fair play.

I have heard rumors and studies about some interesting things that are going on with the girlie bits. Those I can't confirm. I lost sight of everything past the belly button about 4 weeks ago.

I think I mentioned something about sleep deprivation earlier. Ummm...yeah. That's not going too well. Sleeping like a baby??? Yup, I am up every 2 hours, crying and wanting something to eat.

There are plenty of other pregnancy discomforts, but because male members of my family read this and I have to face them over the Christmas dinner, I will leave it at that. You KNOW what I am talking about.

On a side note: Buzz has taken to shining a flashlight at my belly and singing because she is convinced that Baby is afraid of the dark. She's a funny kid who can't wait to be a big sister to ANYONE (but Belly) who is in the throes of two year old misery.

Until Further Notice

DUDES! I felt so cared for today. Thank you for totally stroking my ego. I saw all the "Missing Wrangler" reports and felt both guilty for not checking in and totally humbled by the amount of concern.

Truth is that The Man took this whole week off and he is Mr. Spontaneous sometimes. Just about every morning before I can get the eye snot pried from my lashes; he is dragging us out the door to do something or the other. Yesterday and today were Land Looky Days for the new homestead. We have learned something...you get about 30 miles east of where we live and (according to my very wisest and bestest pal) you must channel your inner mountain goat to survey it. This is not the best thing to do when you are this close (hold up pointer finger and thumb to a width of .5 inches) to having a child.

Putting a pregnant lady in a 4 wheeler up steep inclines makes as much sense as putting a toddler in front of a chocolate cake and a white couch.

You just don't do it. Not if you have sense.

I have never been accused of having much sense.

ANYWAYS...to my original point...that's what I was doing today. I was only able to check my Twitter through my phone when we stopped at the gas station. Which by the way, I had to beg for 45 minutes before The Man finally took me to one. This station was so country, I had to move over the bucket of minnows (fishing bait) to get into the bathroom.

So, UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE...

If I do not blog, twitter, text, facebook, email, send a letter or a messenger pidgeon; this does not mean I am birthing Baby Bigfoot. (I am probably standing on the edge of some ravine scouting the land or 4 wheeling on the side of a mountain)
There have been people put into place that will be posting both on my blog and Twitter, should I go into labor. So no update = no baby.
Besides, we still have a ways to go before 40 weeks. Patience.

Thanks again for the love and whoever sent that St. Bernard with the hot chocolate in his barrel is my new best friend.

Five Question Friday

Happy Black Friday, my friends!!! Anyone still recovering?!

Well, it may be Black Friday, but it's also Five Question Friday!!! Whoo-hooo!!! The blog carnival that poses quirky, fun questions so we can get to know each other better!! And, you know...have a chance to answer quirky, fun questions about ourselves!

I mean...who doesn't love that?!!

Da rulez...copy the following questions to your blog, answer them, grab the MckLinky blog hop code, and link up!! I'd lurve it if you'd link back to Mama M!!

Don't have a blog, but wanna participate?

Feel free to answer the questions in the comments below!!

All righty then...let's get started!

Questions for November 27th: (Thanks to Adrienne and Tyler for their question suggestions!!)

1. Do you do a real or fake Christmas tree?

We use a fake Christmas tree. I do very well (most of the time) with remembering to feed the children, water the dog and keep their mess cleaned up without having to remember to water a tree in the house and the pine needles...I did not like the shag carpet when I was growing up, why would I want a pine needle infused shag carpet now. Nope...that's not going to match the drapes.

2. What is your favorite Christmas tradition with your family?

My favorite tradition is turning on the Christmas music, Christmas movies and putting up the Christmas decorations. I love the beginning of the Christmas season and the anticipation that the holiday brings with young children. Of course, by the day after Christmas I will be more than ready to pick up the Santa puke (boxes, wrapping paper, bows, tags, broken ornaments and random sprinkling of tinsel) and wait another year to do it again.

3. Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in your neck of the woods? And, if so...how many calories do you think you consumed yesterday?

We celebrate Thanksgiving with a hearty gung-no-ness (maybe not a word) Standard calorie consumption counting is not allowed. I mean, come on, who really needs to deal with the guilt? We rather watch to see who is going to wimp out and stop at going back for 3rds. If you can't eat 5lbs of mac & cheese, then take your pitiful stomach and go home.

4. Have you started decorating for Christmas, yet?

I didn't want to, really...I wanted to wait until the bloat from the turkey had worn off; but The Man talked the 4 yo into giving me THE EYES and begging for the Christmas tree. Did you see that?? THE EYES...Oh heavens THE EYES...

5. What is your favorite Christmas cookie?

I love the platters of all the bite sized cookies that are all shaped and decorated differently. I like the mock anger over who gets the green sprinkled trees with the chocolate coating on the back. I love that we defend our right to the last white powdered cresent cookie. I love the fact that the family gathers around the platter, each staking its claim on their favorite cookie and start pulling out the stops over what is rightfully theirs.

My girls

So MUCH to be thankful for!!

I'm Dreaming Of A Black Friday

Black Friday
(to the tune of White Christmas

I'm dreaming of a Black Friday,
Not like the ones I heard about on TV
Where no one get trampled
And all the sales get sampled
Where all the shoppers are filled with Christmas glee.

I'm dreaming of a Black Friday,
Where I get everything half off.
Where there are no long lines
No elbowing in spines
Like pigs running to a trough.

I'm dreaming of a Black Friday,
With each sale paper that comes my way.
May you get all the dreams on your list.
Staying safe with the chaos in your midst.
And all your gifts will be spared of the blood spray.

Thankful

Today I am participating in "Thankful Thursdays" brought to you by The Nut House.

This Thanksgiving I am thankful for...

• 6 half used jars of peanut butter and 8 barely used jars of jelly that are cluttering up the pantry. It means that we have been blessed and my family has enough to eat.
• The fact that I could find no cold medicine for my splitting sinus headache. It means that my family has been healthy this year.
• The radio station that dropped the F-bomb this morning that I quickly changed before my children repeated it. It means I live in a country that celebrates its freedoms and all the men/women who sacrificed their lives to ensure that I have those freedoms.
• The slight feeling of dread at the loud chaos that will take over tonight as 6 adults and 5 children sit down to devour a turkey. It means that I have been blessed with lots of family.
• The chair that will be empty this year. It means that my Nana no longer suffers, has no pain, no need for wet towels for her head, no frustrations of earthly binds and is celebrating in heaven with her Maker. It also means missing someone means loving them.
• The traditional gravy that always makes me gag a little. It means that my mother loves us enough to keep with tradition and its always good for a little ribbing year after year.
• The headache of trying to find the perfect house and piece of land to raise my children. It means that we have been blessed enough in our finances that we have the opportunity to provide.
• The 8 shirts that need to be ironed for The Man. It means that I have a husband to care for that cares for me.
• The fight that will start as I try to chase down my girls and get them dressed to leave. It means that my children have plenty of energy and independence.
• The swollen ankles, sore hips and protruding belly. It means that God has blessed our family with another child to love.
• My email box and text messages that are full and running down my cell phone battery. It means I live in a time where technology allows me to reach out and connect with family and friends. It also means that someone out there cares that I get a student loan and have white teeth.