I was convinced when I was 16 that my hips were too big, my hair too fuzzy, my forehead too high and my eyes a little crooked. Now that I am 30(something or other) I still believe the same things. I thought when a woman grew older she became more secure in herself, confident of who she is and what she looks like. Over 15 years I have carried the same insecurities around. When does this self-image enlightenment happen? Am I going to have to wait until I am in my 80s and I can no longer make out that fuzzy shape in the mirror to critique my appearance to have security?
It seems as the years pass, those high school insecurities just morph into more complicated insecurities with deeper, more complicated justifications. Now I have all the insecurities of a daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend, business worker, daughter-in-law...the list goes on and on. Am I still attractive to my husband of 10 years, Are my kids being raised in a way that they deserve, Do I still make my parents proud, etc.
I was recently battling with a big insecurity of mine and the strangest thing happened...my dear friend, Kate, started talking about doing a study of the book "So Long Insecurity" by Beth Moore. Talk about a God sign! This is exactly what I needed! I got the book and there was the smiling face of Beth. If ever a woman personified security, it's Beth! Then I started reading her words...admissions of insecurity, self doubt...wait a minute! This is Beth Moore. THE Beth Moore. How dare she feel insecurity?!? Insecurity is for peons like me, nobodies that spend their days changing diapers, plunging toilets and worrying about that flab fold from the last baby birthed.
But there is was, in her own words. She has moments of insecurity. Imagine that?!? So now we are doing the study on the book. It's already began, but if you are reading this and feeling like you identify; I really want you to join us! You don't even really need the book, we will help you through it! You can come HERE to join in on the discussion.