Lessons Learned - In A Car

Lessons Learned In A Car With Small Children

1. That decision to sit in between the children on a long car ride? STUPID.
2. Children think that if you are sitting close then you are available for picking on.
3. Somehow they forget you are the mother
4. Ford Minivans' back bench seat will hold 2 car seats and a mother with a width of 18 inches.
5. I am not 18 inches wide
6. Carseats can dig into thighs and leave bruises after an extended amount of time
7. Children who love seeing cows, love to imitate the sound of cows.
8. Listening to cows for 45 minutes at top volume can drive anyone insane.
9. Stopping at the first gas station for restroom time is a great idea
10. Nobody has to use the restroom at the first stop
11. The next gas station is 40 miles away
12. 20 miles both children have to pee
13. 24 miles both children claim agony at having to pee
14. 26 miles the father gives the "You should have gone when I stopped" lecture
15. 28 miles there is a nice overgrowth on the side of the road
16. There is no toilet paper in the car
17. Shaking dry is not an option with girls
18. A baby sock will do in a pinch
19. Don't pick up the baby sock on the side of the road at mile 28
20. Cows sounds will resume when bladders are empty
21. Stop for food and both children protest french fries
22. 2 miles away from restaurant, both children have consumed the mother's fries
23. Baby begins to cry
24. 2 hours later after trying everything, baby is still crying
25. Mother begins to cry
26. Older children fall asleep leaning on Mother
27. Mother's arms start to go to sleep from the weight of little heads
28. Mother begins banging head against the head rest
29. Mother continues crying as drool drips down both arms
30. Now Mother has to pee