Thursday, September 23, 2010

Being The Parent Stinks When There Are Hard Questions

I haven't been around the past couple of days (this is starting to become a trend) because I had to be a parent. No really...I did it and let me tell you that being the parent really stinks when you have to answer hard questions, deal with heartache and you are the bad guy.

Why can't every day be play-doh and giggles?

Ya'll know that Buzz took the stray that showed up as her "baby". She loved that dog with a ferocity and the pup loved her with the same strength. They did everything together and were inseparable.

This is where something always happens to prove that life isn't fair.

The pup is gone. Buzz blames her father, she blames me and mostly can't put her heartache, sadness, anger, confusion, etc. into words.

I started off being honest with her as I thought good parents should do. Just the facts and I'll help you deal with them. There wasn't anything to hide from her anyways and she's old enough right????

Then came being a parent. That moment when you see them crumpled in the floor, crying their heart out, begging you to fix it and you would give your life to stop the hurt in their eyes. You lie. You say the things that your child need to hear right then. You cry with them because the agony of their pain is too great and because you have now created a "fairy tale" for your child; you have to provide the happy ending. Whatever it takes.

I spent the majority of the day yesterday taking Buzz to every pound, rescue, etc. trying to find her "the puppy who needed her". I kid not when I tell you we looked at no less than 60 dogs and there was not a single one that she liked. Wouldn't even pet them. I thought perhaps she was trying to believe that if she looked hard enough she would find her lost pup.

Then we found Libby.

The moment that she saw her it was love. Libby has some of the characteristics of the "lost one" but is a distinctly different dog. Libby is a long haired dachshund with the face of an angel. She has filled the place that was lost. I snuck in and watched Buzz sleeping last night. Smile on her face and one arm thrown over the sleeping Libby.

I know I can't always give my children a happy ending. I know I will have to answer hard questions. I know sometimes they are going to "hate" me. I know life is unfair and sometimes they will suffer and there will be nothing I can do.

For now though, there is Libby.

12 comments:

Krista @ Not Mommy of the Year said...

Aww... this is a heartbreaking and sweet story. I'm sorry that your daughter was so crushed but so happy to hear that you made it all better for her.

(notmommyoftheyear@gmail.com)

Mama M. said...

Oh, I'm so glad that Buzz found the right pup to soothe the hurt in her heart!

Hope things are improving over there...

Love ya, my friend! (((YOU)))

bwya said...

Thanks be to God for Libby and the soft cushion she provided for Buzz to fall on.

Miss you!

Megan M. said...

Poor Buzz, and poor mommy. Hard somehow isn't a strong enough word for it some days. But we know, and we understand, and we do the best we can.
Hugs to all of you, and puppy kisses too!

Sandi said...

Now that you've tugged at my heart strings, how am I supposed to go out there and kick butt today?

Seriously tugged. Pass the tissue.

Sandi said...

Also? We're about to start dog-hunting; hope we don't have to look at 60!

Amy O'Connor said...

Aww, my heart goes out to Buzz and you. It is hard being a parent when it comes to the not so fun stuff. I'm glad y'all found Libby to help fill the void of the lost puppy.

Funsucker Extraordinaire said...

We lost a pet too this week. It's so hard to watch your children suffer with that sadness. Our son decided another guinea pig is not in his future so there will be no replacement for our beloved Cookie.

Jane in AUSTRALIA said...

the tough stuff makes us better people, it hurts but growth does that.
Lovely post, reminds us of what really matters.

Anne said...

Those are tough times. It's not always fun being the Mommy. I had to deal with something like this when my kids were little. It's the little things that gets you through the tough times and for this instance it was Libby. It sounds like you handled it well.

Anne @ http://lessonsthrulife.com

Melissa (Confessions of a Dr. Mom) said...

Your daughter sounds so sweet. What a heartache for her and this IS the hard, and heartwrenching part of parenting. Sorry you both had to go through that. Glad she found another little one to start healing her beautiful little heart:)

Kimberly said...

Looks like I'll have to call my mom today and send her some love. She had a similar conversation with me when my Sheila was taken. She was my first dog.

The first few months that we had our puppies I was terrified that someone would take them. All of that fear stems from my dog being taken from me 30 years ago.

My mom had the tough chats with me then too. I bet she would have gladly strangled the person that made me cry for weeks.

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