Lessons Learned - Vol 6

1. There is no "Easy Button" when you are a mom.
2. There is an "Easier Button" if you look for it. Mine is Speed Dial #1 and its the "I'm calling your dad" direct line. When I push that button everything is easier.
3. There are people who love waking up in the morning, frying bacon, baking biscuits and singing in the kitchen.
4. Then there is me.
5. If you pull out a pack of bacon and stare at it hard enough for 20 minutes, you can convince yourself that it might be spoiled.
6. To be safe, feed the children cereal.
7. Feel pride all day long from the certain food poisoning disaster you avoided.
8. Go to bed that night and mention in your prayer to God that you were sorry you were lazy and lied to the children who wanted bacon.
9. Husbands who had moms who cooked elaborate breakfasts are decidedly miffed when served cereal.
10. Even after 10 years of marriage the comment "My mom always did...." will still come up.
11. Husbands are the reason that mother-in-laws get such a bad rap.
12. With Child #1 you did a constant sweep of the house to make sure there were no choking hazards on the floor.
13. With Child #3 you teach the older ones who to do the "throat sweep" while you trip over tiny Legos.
14. It is possible to get your thumb stuck in a minivan hatch to the point where you can't move.
15. This is the type of thing that only happens to me.
16. It's possible to control tears and cussing when children are present so you don't scare them while you are stuck and in pain.
17. When the husband comes to your rescue and points/laughs first before rescuing you, you can not control the cussing part.
18. Sometimes when you look at all your little crazy mistakes in the day; you wonder why God entrusted small children to your care.
19. After you have asked forgiveness for the whole bacon incident; thank God that he gave you all those little beings to care for.