Thursday, October 7, 2010

Lessons Learned - Vol 6

  1. There is no "Easy Button" when you are a mom.
  2. There is an "Easier Button" if you look for it. Mine is Speed Dial #1 and its the "I'm calling your dad" direct line. When I push that button everything is easier.
  3. There are people who love waking up in the morning, frying bacon, baking biscuits and singing in the kitchen.
  4. Then there is me.
  5. If you pull out a pack of bacon and stare at it hard enough for 20 minutes, you can convince yourself that it might be spoiled.
  6. To be safe, feed the children cereal.
  7. Feel pride all day long from the certain food poisoning disaster you avoided.
  8. Go to bed that night and mention in your prayer to God that you were sorry you were lazy and lied to the children who wanted bacon.
  9. Husbands who had moms who cooked elaborate breakfasts are decidedly miffed when served cereal.
  10. Even after 10 years of marriage the comment "My mom always did...." will still come up.
  11. Husbands are the reason that mother-in-laws get such a bad rap.
  12. With Child #1 you did a constant sweep of the house to make sure there were no choking hazards on the floor.
  13. With Child #3 you teach the older ones who to do the "throat sweep" while you trip over tiny Legos.
  14. It is possible to get your thumb stuck in a minivan hatch to the point where you can't move.
  15. This is the type of thing that only happens to me.
  16. It's possible to control tears and cussing when children are present so you don't scare them while you are stuck and in pain.
  17. When the husband comes to your rescue and points/laughs first before rescuing you, you can not control the cussing part.
  18. Sometimes when you look at all your little crazy mistakes in the day; you wonder why God entrusted small children to your care.
  19. After you have asked forgiveness for the whole bacon incident; thank God that he gave you all those little beings to care for.

12 comments:

eirn@NirvanaMamma said...

Totally relate to the MIL bit...my MIl is the perfect homemaker. Me? Not so much. But, my MIL never had a blog, so there. ;) Also totally relate to the teaching child #1 to do the throat sweep on #2. I swear, I'm so much for lax with my second. That made me LOL by the way.

Jackie said...

There's nothing wrong with cereal! Kids can eat it for any meal really! And you should only have to actually make breakfast one the weekends if you have time and aren't in a rush! But if you play your cards right you'll never have to do it at all!

The Empress said...

I;m lucky, never knew it till know: my hubs' mother did nada.

So, he thinks I am magical..

Hee hee..

This was very cute, and sweet. Thank you for the smiles.

Ofthesea said...

Your poor thumb! OW!

And a husband that laughs at your predicament before rescuing you does NOT deserve bacon. So there! ;)

Wahzat Gayle said...

why are husbands soooo mean! Poor you!
Have to say sorry cause I did giggle a good bit through your whole post.

Mama M. said...

Those little beings...they really are something to be thankful for!

I love these Lessons...and I sooooo wish that there was video of you stuck with your thumb in the van! Oh, to have seen that!

I certainly wouldn't have laughed. I would've helped you immediately. Ahem. *giggle* Okay, maybe I would've laughed a little!!

Mama M. said...

Those little beings...they really are something to be thankful for!

I love these Lessons...and I sooooo wish that there was video of you stuck with your thumb in the van! Oh, to have seen that!

I certainly wouldn't have laughed. I would've helped you immediately. Ahem. *giggle* Okay, maybe I would've laughed a little!!

Mama M. said...

oops...posted twice! Sorry.

Wait...I guess this makes three! ;)

Striving 4 Balance said...

They make pre-cooked bacon...a little more expensive but TOTALLY worth it in my mind for not having to deal with all the grease splatter and clean up. My store even has a store brand...worth the $1.50 splurge in my mind once in awhile.

Andrea@multiplemama said...

ONCE my husband suggested I use his mom's banana bread recipe instead of mine. And I responded "Why Don't you?" He has never baked again.

Barb said...

This is funny! I love the bacon stare down. I have done the same with a pound of meat. You can never be too careful I say, especially when your effing tired and dont feel like making a mess and the kids know what was originally planned for dinner. They have to thank you for saving them from severe poisoning! Cereal for dinner rocks!

eileen ludwig said...

What a day for you? Tough but what a great sense of humor. Ex motherinlaw ex husband told me she ironed his underwear. Made homemade noodles, etc. I said he was welcome to eat at his mothers and bring his underwear.

You are so gracious. Here's hoping tomorrow is different but with little ones it is always a challenge.

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails