Twas The Day Before Christmas

'Twas the day before Christmas, when all through the house

  All the kids were excited, even the spouse;

The stockings were hung on the stairs with duct tape,

The tree has fell so much it has lost its shape;

The tinsel has been eaten and the ornaments are missing,

The nativity was arranged to show Mary and Santa kissing.;

And Dad in his flannel, and I in my yoga pants,

Might look like we have it together at first glance,

When up the stairs there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the chair to see what was the matter.

Away to the kids rooms I flew like the wind,

To see what was broken next that I might have to mend.

The kids eyes were wide and wild with joy 

For they had sat and unwrapped every Christmas toy,

I stood there stunned, unsure and certainly mad,

I finally stomped my feet and began screaming for their dad,

Up the stairs he came with a leap and a bound,

And stood shocked in all the present carnage we found.

More rapid than eagles his shouting became,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Bug! now, Belly! now, Bitsy and Sam!

Pick up all the Barbies, babies and wooly lamb!

Pick up the candy, PJs and big bouncy ball!

Now put is away! put it away! put it away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

They picked up all the toys with a sob and a sigh,

The barbies, the babies and the little wooly lamb ewe,

There is now a bag full of toys, and bouncy ball too.

Dad and I crept back downstairs with the Christmas joy gone,

And wondered how we could turn this around before dawn.

The toys had been seen, played with and cuddled with love

But to destroy Santa who they thought so much of?

It would be obvious he didn't come by later that night,

If the toys were the same; the packaging torn and not right.

The spouse and I sat down with our confiscated toy bag,

Scratching our heads at this child induced Christmas snag.

Our foreheads wrinkled and our lips began to twitch!

As the laughter began in spite of the glitch!

This was just another typical day with our little offspring,

They always manage to cause that one little thing; 

That one little thing that starts a mess and a laugh,

Like crayon on the wall or overflowing the bath;

It never pays to let those things get us all mad,

But rather to laugh and look at the lesson we had.

In every mess there is something to be taught,

That you will never find in the parenting book that you bought.

The key is to be really fast on your feet,

And never assume your parenting lessons are complete.

As for us we are trying to explain,

Why a day early Santa had came,

Storing the toys for Christmas Eve night,

Because there was one reindeer who was scared of night flight;

So he came in the morning while cereal was served,

And left all the presents that the kids deserved.

So to all of you parents scrubbing the crayon from the wall
"Merry Christmas A Day Early from us all!!!

The Crayon Wrangler & Scribblers!

Ho Ho OhNo

There was a time not too long ago,
Christmas was full of ho-ho-ho.
But then came the children
Three messy whirlwinds
And now it is Ho-Ho-OhNo

The tree is leaning and barely upright,
There is no such thing as "Silent Night"
The manager and Mary are missing
Santa and Joseph are kissing
The placing of the star always causing a fight.

The tree ornaments are always hung above 4 feet
Cause we've learned they are a toddler's favorite treat
The popcorn strand was ate
The mistletoe met the same fate
There is tinsel stuck on the dog's ears and feet.

The garland is used for roping and jump rope,
The stockings are hung with duct tape and hope.
Candy canes are licked one time each
Baby Jesus is safely placed out of reach.
Trying to keep everything safe would bring a cuss from the Pope.

There is something about that Christmas Day glow,
You forget about all the angst, pain and woe.
When your childrens' eyes light
Because Christmas turned out all right
It makes it all worth the Ho-Ho-OhNo.

A Mommy's Prayer

I do not wait to say my prayers when the day is done,

I need to get my plea to God before the day's begun.

For when I lay me down at night to sleep,

My sanity, I probably did not keep.

So, Our Father who art in heaven, please hear my prayer.

Help me find my keys and get the gum out of the baby's hair.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of scattered toys, I will be calm.

I'll answer all their questions without saying, "because I'm your mom"

When all three kids are screaming and crying that life's not fair,

Help me not totally blow it and pull out all my hair.

Give me patience as I scrub the crayon off the wall,

Please let them be quiet just once as I take another phone call.

Give me courage as we go to the grocery store,

And silence the mouth of the toddler who repeats the word I swore.

Give me stamina to last until I put them all to bed.

And help me remove the paint from the dog's head.

My God and my coffee will strengthen me today

Dear Lord, hear these words I pray.