Monday, July 12, 2010

Let's Talk About Men

They say "Men are from Mars and women are from Venus". Well, if that is the case then Martians must carry around a Super Duper Photon Blaster 3000 for all their problems.

Example: The Head Crayon was doing yard work today and our old weed eater would just not stay started. This is an ongoing issue with this piece of equipment. As a side note, I must add that he was also doing some target practice off and on today. The reason this is significant is that when he had enough of the weedeaters troublesome ways, he blasted it. Seriously...he shot the thing out of its misery. Three perfectly placed holes in the engine compartment thingie.

I was at the stove cooking (like a good little wifey) and he came in the backdoor. I saw him carrying the gun and he simply said, "I have to go buy a new weedeater." Knowing him like I do, I knew what he had done. Considering the weedeater's demise, I did not stop working to go confirm it. As soon as dinner was done, I found the poor weedeater laying in the yard where it apparently had been thrown and shot. Poor weedeater.

I started thinking about his solution to the problem and it made me realize the difference in the way a man and a woman handle a problem.

A woman would have:
  • taken it apart to see what really made it tick
  • call 5 friends and see if they had the problem and what did they do about it
  • call a repair man and get an estimate
  • go shopping for a new weedeater and some shoes
  • proudly bring the new weedeater home and call those 5 friends to tell them of her great success
  • get together with those 5 friends for a cookie dough and Beaches kind of night
A man would have:
  • determined it didn't work
  • move on
See the differences here? How can we possibly expect a man to face a problem the same way that we do? Is it really fair to assume that our way is best?

Men and women are wired so differently, yet when conflict comes up; each party wants the other to handle it the way that they do. We want our men to sit and talk about the problem, eat cookie dough and watch a good tear-jerker movie. Men want to fix it once and for all. When they won't share our cookie dough spoon, we get our feelings hurt and feel as if our perception of the problem is just not important and our solution to the problem is not validated. Men think we are just nagging them when we feel the need to talk about it, because they just want it fixed and over.

Although men and women were made for each other and can function beautifully to complete a relationship; it's important to remember that its our differences that is what makes it complete. Each sex brings something to the table that is important for the healthy survival of the relationship. Also remember that not one person's offering is more important than the other. Embrace your differences and strengths. Consider each others weaknesses and lift them up. Just as the woman has the strengths to be a nurturer and teacher to the family; the man's "Get 'er done" attitude is what often times can propel the family through a moment of crisis and towards healing.

Do you encourage your husband to excel in his emotional leadership role? Does he encourage you to embrace the tender spirit you were given?

6 comments:

Muliebrity said...

You forgot the part where the woman would log onto BlogFrog and asked an online community their opinion about the weed eater.

Crayon Wrangler said...

ROFL!!! I just love you!

Jennifer said...

Hilarious that your husband shot the weedeater. Great story.

Jennifer
www.thefarriswheel.blogspot.com

David said...

Ok, I usually get a pretty big kick out of your writing. Today, not so much. I get where you went with it, and I agree, really. But just because *your* man chose to shoot his weedeater does not mean that all men would choose this approach. Careful on the stereotyping.

My approach would've been more like what you described for a woman's approach - minus the shoe shopping, cookie dough, & Beaches part. Take it apart, see if I can figure out what's wrong, if not call some guys who know more than me about it. If they can't help, check out the web forums & such. And THEN, if all those approaches, I just might call it dead. But by then I would've also researched why mine failed, which ones out there are better, and I would know which new one I would want to buy.

Yes, men & women are wired differently, but not all men, not all women are wired the same sort of different. And that's part of what makes life interesting, isn't it?

The Fellow Wanderer said...

Men are easily led...by other men. Some smart(?), some not so smart. Either we think (after the fact...or let me say maybe long after the fact) or we just go with the consensus (of what we think John Wayne might have done).
Really and truly we are private individuals who don't really care to share our feelings cause we just don't think they're realivant.
We just want to get our job done with the least amount of interference and we derive pleasure in knowing we got it done (even if it may not be exactly by the "specs").

Lisa said...

haha...so true! thanks for the reminder to not expect him to respond like me.

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