Example: The Head Crayon was doing yard work today and our old weed eater would just not stay started. This is an ongoing issue with this piece of equipment. As a side note, I must add that he was also doing some target practice off and on today. The reason this is significant is that when he had enough of the weedeaters troublesome ways, he blasted it. Seriously...he shot the thing out of its misery. Three perfectly placed holes in the engine compartment thingie.
I was at the stove cooking (like a good little wifey) and he came in the backdoor. I saw him carrying the gun and he simply said, "I have to go buy a new weedeater." Knowing him like I do, I knew what he had done. Considering the weedeater's demise, I did not stop working to go confirm it. As soon as dinner was done, I found the poor weedeater laying in the yard where it apparently had been thrown and shot. Poor weedeater.
I started thinking about his solution to the problem and it made me realize the difference in the way a man and a woman handle a problem.
A woman would have:
- taken it apart to see what really made it tick
- call 5 friends and see if they had the problem and what did they do about it
- call a repair man and get an estimate
- go shopping for a new weedeater and some shoes
- proudly bring the new weedeater home and call those 5 friends to tell them of her great success
- get together with those 5 friends for a cookie dough and Beaches kind of night
- determined it didn't work
- move on
Men and women are wired so differently, yet when conflict comes up; each party wants the other to handle it the way that they do. We want our men to sit and talk about the problem, eat cookie dough and watch a good tear-jerker movie. Men want to fix it once and for all. When they won't share our cookie dough spoon, we get our feelings hurt and feel as if our perception of the problem is just not important and our solution to the problem is not validated. Men think we are just nagging them when we feel the need to talk about it, because they just want it fixed and over.
Although men and women were made for each other and can function beautifully to complete a relationship; it's important to remember that its our differences that is what makes it complete. Each sex brings something to the table that is important for the healthy survival of the relationship. Also remember that not one person's offering is more important than the other. Embrace your differences and strengths. Consider each others weaknesses and lift them up. Just as the woman has the strengths to be a nurturer and teacher to the family; the man's "Get 'er done" attitude is what often times can propel the family through a moment of crisis and towards healing.
Do you encourage your husband to excel in his emotional leadership role? Does he encourage you to embrace the tender spirit you were given?