Monday, September 28, 2009

Splash of water to wake you up

Sometimes when you need to feel refreshed, you splash some cool water on your face (not the best idea while at work unless you use waterproof mascara, lesson learned) But what do you do when you need to feel more than just refreshed, when you are down in the dumps and can't pull yourself out?

I recommend putting your face through a car wash. Seriously.

So as you have noticed through my hiatus, I have been feeling kind of down, overwhelmed and in desperate need of refreshing. I couldn't seem to pull myself through it.

Enter car wash.

I have not gotten much sleep lately and my thinking is not the clearest. That's the excuse I am using, don't dispute me. After the great tractor pull of '09 (that's another story that I will try to get back to) my minivan was in desperate need of a bath. Not to mention that someone under the 4 foot height marker must have dropped a chicken nugget or something, because there was a strange odor lurking in the van, as well. I also needed gas. I pulled to the pump and prepaid for my car wash and gas. As it was pumping, I decided to do a little re-con and see if I couldn't find the lurking nugget. I did not. I did however find 6 bottle tops, two straws, 3 french fries and a partridge in a pear tree. I opened all the front, sliding and hatch doors, while the gas was pumping for my search and rescue mission. I heard the pump shut off, shut the front and sliding doors; then drove into the automatic car wash.

As the machines began to whir and sputter, I did note that they seemed louder than usual. I went into the Touchless (means no brushes, just high pressure hoses) and got the ultimate wash. The ultimate wash starts you off with a high pressure soap soak. I always loved this part because it shoots 3 different colors of soap in neat rows all over the vehicle.

The children giggle with glee as the lines of rainbow soap march across their windows to the back of the van. All of a sudden something hit me in the back of the head, I turn around to chastise a child and get a face full of pink, purple and green soap suds. About this time, Buzz begins to scream "Momma, I scawed of bath" and Belly starts to wail as both children are coated with soap.

Someone forgot to close the hatch to the van.

I quickly try to open my door to go close the hatch but the machine is sitting right.there. I unbuckle my seat belt and attempt to crawl to the back of the van (Note: Ford Windstar is not designed for pregnant women to crawl to the back in any kind of comfort or ease) The whole crawl was done almost army style as the barrage of soap continues to pelt me in the face. As I finally get to the back, I notice that this little spout that is dousing me, the children, the inside of the van is now hung on the open hatch, thus stuck in position and continuing to hose us down. This kids are no longer screaming as they try to keep their mouths shut to prevent bubble consumption. I hop over the back seat and out onto the pavement (I use hop loosely, as pregnant women can't hop through 1 1/2 foot opening into soapy pavement with any kind of grace) and hit the stop button.

I stood there for a moment looking at the eater egg colored suds filling my van and thought about the past few weeks; I wanted to just cry. Then a chunk of purple soap dripped off my hair and I had to laugh. It was a little more intense than splashing some water on my face, but I guess God just really wanted to get my attention and say "WAKE UP - YOU ARE MISSING IT"

I am now wide awake, will resume normal blogging, warped humor, nuked hot dogs and coloring outside the lines with my girls. Thank you to those who sent me encouragement and prayers, letting me know I was missed out here in the blogosphere.

By the way, that smell in my van? Yup, it's gone.

5 comments:

Meghan said...

Oh my goodness girl!! That is the most awful, horrendous, and most awfully hysterical thing I have seen all day! I am really sorry that happened to you, but one day, you will seriously look back on this moment and laugh. (And I feel really guilty for laughing at the mental picture of a pregnant lady army crawling through a minivan while being pelted with soap and sprayed with water!)

Mama M. said...

Oh, you're back!!!! That story made me laugh out loud...and I'm sorry it was at your expense, but thank you, my dear! And you are definitely bakc, humor and all...I've missed you, my friend! Now, excuse me...while I go change my panties...

becomewhatyouare said...

I am so, so sorry! I did get a good laugh out of it, too.

I was going to call you last night during auditions, but I was accosted by another mother who (while quite pleasant, mind you) talked my ear off! *sigh* (I was going to grade math work, too. that didn't happen either.)

The Steffen Family said...

Oh my! I am sorry to be laughing at your expense, but this just made me laugh out loud. I can SO see how a Mom with lots on her mind (and a preggo one at that) would do what you did. *hugs* I have missed you! :P

Amanda said...

Its still as funny today, as it was yesterday.

ROFL!!!

I love you and I'm glad you are back. I've missed you!

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