Thursday, February 11, 2010

News Reports On A Loop

I mentioned before that The Grays have this thing for The Weather Channel. By using the word "thing" I am referring to a total consuming obsession. They will sit there for hours watching weather report after weather report. The only thing that makes them turn the channel is for the local news. All 8 times that it comes on in a day.

During this weather marathon is a constant commentary by the female Gray (the male Gray is mostly deaf so he just watches the pictures) on what is being said. "It is snowing in D.C." "Did you see the pictures of the snow in D.C.?" "Did you know it is snowing in D.C.?" "Holy Jehoshaphat, it is snowing in D.C.!" She never knows what the weather is actually doing right here in our city, but she can tell you how much rain Podunk, Montana has gotten over the past 7 days. She'll even tell you 11 times so you are sure to know.

Then when the local news comes on she just watches snippets of each channel. Constantly switching back and forth between the 3 local channels to see what each news reporter is saying and then its almost a conspiracy if one of the channels predicts a low that is one degree lower than what the other two channels said. She will feign interest in an actual news story by saying "I have to watch the news at 6, because they are doing a piece about that girl" I'll ask "What girl" She'll say "You know that one that did that thing some time ago" I'll say "What did she do" She'll sigh with exasperation "You know THAT thing, don't you ever watch the news?"

I am not bothered by her exasperation as I know it is all a plot to watch more weather. I have harnessed the power of auto tuning the television though so when my shows come on, or the all saving Dora at dinner preparation comes on; it automatically switches to that channel and can't be overridden unless you know how to operate the remote. She doesn't know how to do this and probably thinks it is some kind of voo-doo on the t.v. I'll sit down to watch some Jack Bauer and she will quietly sulk off to her room, destroyed at being denied watching the 8's on The Weather Channel.

I think she fancies herself a news reporter of sorts herself. Kind of like becoming a news reporter through osmosis from all the news she watches herself. All day long I receive a commentary of what is being done, even though I can clearly see it myself. "Belly is playing with her blocks" "Buzz is playing with the baby" "You are washing dishes" If I don't seem interested in the news report, she will call another family member or friend and tell them. "Belly is playing with her blocks, Buzz is playing with the baby and she is washing dishes...can you believe all that? Now she is staring at me. Now she is walking across the floor. Now she is grabbing my pho...."

The worse part of all of it is she is a mumbler and she waits until I am busy with running water, screaming child, etc. before she says anything. I see her mouth moving and turn off the water "What did you say, I couldn't hear you." I strain my ears and lean her direction. "mumble-mumble" I clap my hand over the child's mouth and hush them."I still can't hear you..." Then she finally yells so I can hear her "I said it is snowing in D.C.!"

*Sigh*


9 comments:

Emily said...

You are one strong woman that's for sure. Hang in there.

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

This cracked me up! My mother in law regularly updates me on the weather in all the locations where she has family. They just stayed with us a couple of days and she actually knocked on my bedroom door and came in to tell me how many inches of snow they were getting in Maryland. At least she knocked, right?

Susan Fobes said...

This had me rolling! I am new to your blog-connecting from Honest Mommy Bloggers on MBC. I will definitely be back!

Kimberly said...

Praying for lots and lots and lots of patience for you!!!

My mom (turning 73 tomorrow, which reminds me I forgot to mail her bday card - darn!) anyway ... she is my news source. She lives 50 miles away so when we speak on the phone about once a week, she will fill me in on all the news she knows that I don't watch (because I don't watch the news).

My husband is the one addicted to the Weather Channel. He doesn't report stuff to me, but he will watch the local on the 8s again and again, like it is going to be different at 6:48 than what it was at 6:28. :) He cracks me up.

Ash said...

I'm kind of obsessed with weather....only my local weather though and I use the internet to check it. I have to know what is going on so I can plan my clothing choices accordingly.

My grandpa watches the weather channel A LOT. Did you know that you can punch in a zip code and get the weather for a location while watching the weather channel? According to my grandpa you can. I get regular weather reports for Montana where his brother lives. That requires knowing how to use the remote though which sounds like luckily isn't an issue for you. :) I am not sure if all cable companies have that feature but his satellite sure does!

You sure seem to have a lot on your plate! I'm sure it has to be tough. You're awesome.

Rebecca D said...

We live with my step mom who is in her late 60's and is obsessed with the weaher too. She is a little bit tech savvy so she programed her phone to give her weather updates. One night last week I caught her watching the 10 PM news, looking at her cell phone while on weatherchannel.com... when I asked her what she was doing she said "I'm trying to find out which of these is lying to me!" (she takes it a little too personal.) My husband bought her one of those high tech indoor/outdoor weather sationd for christmas from oregon scientific... good idea for a weather fan..no... she gets mad if the news is off by more then here 3 degree margin of error she "alows" them... ahhhh they joys of multi generational living...

Shana said...

You are too funny! Hey...did you know it's snowing in DC? You did? Hmm, imagine that =0)

JulieChats said...

So funny! Thank goodness you have a good sense of humor! My parents watch WAY to much QVC.....

Nice to meet you!

I'm stopping by so late from last week's VGNO, it's almost embarrassing, but hey, I'll probably see you tomorrow night too! :)

Just signed up to follow you! Stop by when you get a chance! http://juliechats.blogspot.com

Christie said...

My dad's wife's parents would visit, and it was ALL ABOUT the History Channel. No one could watch anything, because they weren't just watching it, they were RECORDING IT. People get so...particular.

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