Saturday, February 13, 2010

The Skunk - Part 2

Yesterday I touched briefly on the subject of the skunk that led to love. Today, I will tell you the full story.

The Head Crayon and I had pretty much just met and needed to get that whole pesky business of finding out each others religious, political, music, food, favorite colors, views on family, weird quirks, etc. conversation out of the way. You know the one where you determine whether you could actually spend time with this person or if you just want to smooch their cute little face for a couple of months and then move on to the next Mr. Maybe Right. He had just gotten off work around 10pm and we decided to drive to the park by the lake for the chat.

As we drove onto the parking lot, I noticed a sign that said "This park is monitored for suspicious activity after dark" Not seeing any patrol cars and not planning on doing anything real suspicious, we continued on. We got out of the car and started walking towards one of the park benches that faced the lake. The woman in me noticed the lack of lighting, numerous trees that could shelter a serial killer, bushes that might contain a pack of rabid wolves,...The man in him saw a lack of lighting and the perfect spot to steal a kiss or two.

We made it to the park bench without Killer Kevin jumping out with his shiny butcher knife and sat down to talk. The conversation went something like this...

Him: So did you see the news report on the bill in the Senate? Which political team do you think is right?
Me: I saw it and I think that...Wait...Did you see something move over there?
Him: Well, sit a little closer, I didn't see anything. Speaking of seeing, I was watching the girls at work talking about how hard kids can be in a relationship, what do you think?
Me: I think it all depends on...Yes, right there. I definitely saw something move.
Him: Let me put my arm around you, it's ok...there is nothing there. I noticed you are wearing purple, is that your favorite color?
Me: Well, not really. My favorite color is...OMGosh, it's a skunk!!

I began the mad scramble of jumping and squealing on top of the park bench and trying to climb onto his head. Because being at the highest point seemed to matter at that moment. He de-tangled me and assumed the knight in shining armor position as he tried to assess the situation.

After assessing it, he grabbed my hand and we began to run. As we moved away from the dimly lit area we had been in, it became very difficult to see where the skunk actually was and if it was a pack of skunks or maybe super speed Ninja skunks who were the ones who were patrolling the area for suspicious activity. It was breezy that night and there were leaves on the ground so every rustle, every move became the potential skunk. We could smell the skunky smell, so he was surely close.

We were getting close to where the car was and I made a move to save myself from stenchy spray, I tripped The Head Crayon, figuring the skunk would get to his prone body first and I was buying myself a little time. Motto: If you can't outrun the skunk, at least outrun the other victim.

He dusted himself off and still made it to the car before me. I think I heard the word "cutthroat" escape his lips. We had parked right next to one of those huge outdoor trash cans that are always filled to the brim with parky snacks with the one hamburger wrapper always on the ground and it turns out that this was the skunk all night diner. As we slammed the doors shut, the smell of skunk wrapped its stench around our car making it difficult to breathe or even to see properly.

As we drove away coughing, gagging and laughing; I knew that this was Mr. Right.

Months later, after we had our first big fight. I was in the Hallmark store looking for a card that said "I love you, but I am still right...you need to apologize" I couldn't find the perfect card and was starting to leave, when a shelf of animal figurines caught my eye. At the very top was a small skunk. Perfect. I purchased the little skunk and put it in an envelope.

Ever since then, skunks have made their way into our home. Some are in the form of tiny figurines, but most have been some type Pepe Le Pew memorabilia; house slippers, salt & pepper shakers, cookie jars, charms, pjs, etc. Often times when we are driving and you pass that fresh skunk smell (which usually means one was crushed on the road...but we won't dwell on that ) we make the googly eyes at each other and hold hands remembering that night.

Love stinks!

12 comments:

Cop Mama said...

Ha ha ha! This is so funny, so oozing with comedy that I can't even begin to start quoting all my favorites!!! LOL!

Mama M. said...

:D

"Mr. Maybe Right"...too funny!

That, is an awesome story! Totally, hilariously, awesomely awesome!

Susan Fobes said...

Oh my, what a story! A skunk brought you together-that is unique...

Lisa said...

I never thought I'd know of someone that got googly-eyed over skunk smell lol!!

I bet it was some super Ninja skunk!
Great story:)Very sweet! I can't believe you tripped him haha!!

Debra said...

You do an awesome job of storytelling :) Thanks for visiting me, I'm following you back. Happy Valentine's Day :)

Emily said...

What an awesome story!

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

LOL, My favorite adjective "Awesome" is already used, so I have to say Totally Funny! Great story and greatly told!

Ottavia said...

Happy Valentine's Day!

Bethany said...

Hilarious. Now I know what to bring if I ever meet you in the flesh. :)

Anna said...

That was a cute and funny story, thanks for sharing.

Mandy P said...

AWESOME, AWESOME POST!!! I laughed out loud! Your guy sounds like a prince. =)

~Mandy

Helga said...

That story had me laughing so hard. I love it!!!

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