Thursday, February 4, 2010

What's In My Man's Pants?

There are stories told every now and then (Actually the same story over and over and over again, Amen! *sigh*) about The Head Crayon by his mother about the trauma of washing his clothes. Traumatic because there always was something alive or disgusting in one of the pockets. (I am so glad I have girls...so glad I have girls...keep chanting until they hit puberty, all 3 of them)

But it seems the pocket treasures of old are not something that the male human outgrows.

Enter Exhibit A


I pull out these items and have to wonder what type of adventure was he planning or what has he been up to?

So we have a Taco Bell hot sauce packet. Perhaps he was worried about the bad weather we have been having and was concerned about being stuck in his car in a snow drift. He could survive for hours with just that little sustenance that packet might contain. I can just picture him shivering, all alone, in the dark and looking at the packet with frozen drool on his chin.

The Swiss Army knife could be used for any number of things, but further inspection showed all of the knives were rusted shut except for the fingernail file. I guess he would have really manicured nails upon his rescue.

Earplug...singular. Not much use unless he was looking for something to chew on.

Old fashioned can opener...not quite the Jaws of Life, but just maybe with some diligence he could use it to slowly saw out of the vehicle. Especially since the pocket knife doesn't work.

A band-aid with flowers and Tweety Bird on it (Yup, he is a dad of girls) Could be handy if he gets nicked by his little Jaws of Life.

Some little tool thingie...I am a girl and have no idea what that thing is or what it could be used for.

A itty bitty tee-tiny bulb. Not real effective as a search light for sure. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't work with just that battery either. I got $10 on the fact that both the bulb and battery are dead.

A bullet? Well, there are deer around these parts for a emergency meal, but what's he gonna do...throw it at them?

Penny? Must have been a lucky one, but it's sticky and smells of Taco Bell hot sauce,

A jewelers loop...search me. What does he have one of those things for? I guess I need to look in his trunk and see if he is selling Rolex watches and velvet Elvis paintings.

There was a lonely $5 bill in there too, but it seems to have...uhh...gotten misplaced. Yup, misplaced for sure. In fact, it was never there. I never saw it.

So have you ever been on such a treasure hunt? What interesting things did you find?

13 comments:

Amanda said...

Beef Jerky, used tissue, rubber bands, 341's(BMT stuff), A hot cheeto and a milk maid.

So if you look at it as a cup half full, you've got a full meal, a weapon, something to write on and a tissue to seal up your finger, that you had to use as a pencil.

Kelly said...

I must say the title of this made me literally LOL!!!

*Jess* said...

Oh my goodness, that is exactly what would be in my husband's pocket, too! Well, if it was on a Friday. Friday is Taco Bell day at our house.

Kimberly said...

My husband carries a plethora of things in his pockets also. So much so that if you pick his pants up, they weigh about 10 pounds.

He's sleeping right now before having to go out for midnight shift, so let's just see what he has ...

Right pocket: keyring containing 20 (yes 20!) keys (apparently he has a key for everything?), chapstick, pocket knife (his works), nasal decongestant thingy (I have one too so I can't make fun of that), little squeezy flashlight on a key ring, and 82 cents in change.

Left pocket: super strong magnet with some little metal tool stuck to it (not sure what that is), 2 small wrenches, measuring tape, and an orange bouncy ball (why?).

I do have 2 boys and will probably find many living and dead things in their pockets over the years. Something to look forward to. :)

takemetomaui said...

Baaa haaaa haaaa! That is awesome. Was he a boyscout? He sure is prepared for....something. Thanks for sharing :) I should gather up a collection of all the things I find in our kids' pockets some week. It is quite interesting, for sure! Thanks for the chuckle :)

Cop Mama said...

Ha ha ha! Love this post! You are so funny.

For the record, I have random bullets floating around in my purse too!

Bethany said...

I love the bullets in purses comment. I'm not there yet, but as a wife of a gun lovin' man, I spied the bullet first. What does that say about me? Never mind...

Fun post. So far my lone little man doesn't have much in his pockets, but I often find a batch of clothes has a nice minty smell to it, or is extra soft - thanks to Eclipse and/or chapstick.

Cop Mama said...

Just stopping by to let you know I just posted a shout out for your giveaway on my blog! Have a great Friday :-)

BTW, It's a Barbie World, baby!

Melissa said...

The $5 my husband leaves in his pockets always gets misplaced, too. Hmm, weird!! ; )

My husband works in a very technical field, so I find all manners of things that I don't know the name of but that look like they might electrocute me somehow when I pull them wet out of the washer! I also found a coin from Panama (we've never been), tokens from Chuck E. Cheese (our daughter is only 1 year old!), pens, and his 'redneck' PDA (a pocket size notebook). Unfortunately the one I find the most is his favorite red chapstick. And, even more unfortunately, I usually find it in the drier! My favorite thing that I found was his set of my car keys (electronic key fob and all) in the drier. Miraculously, they still worked!!

Working Mommy said...

Maybe he was at the jewelry store looking for a present for you?!?! Proper diamond inspection require the use of a loop ;)

~WM

The Cooks said...

Thanks for the laugh. I needed that today! :)

MyMomfessions said...

i was just thinking of doing a similiar post hahaha....it never ceases to amaze me what i find in his pants an how many things have gotten ruined in the laundry..ty for the laugh!

Gina said...

Great post! I can totally relate...a husband's pockets reveal (often enigmatically) some crazy life that I know very little about...his work! What is this square piece of blue velcro with a sticky back used for...always a pocketful of bandaids (must be dangerous out there!) random screws, tie wraps (OHMY, always the tiewraps!) and lots of metal shiny things of mysterious shape & origin. Thanks for making me laugh!

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