Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Dog or Baby: A Chart For The Undecided

So you have announced yourself Mr & Mrs and now everyone wants to know when you are going to add a new bundle to your family. You are a little nervous about the prospect of taking care of a human where there is potential to send that little darling straight to a therapist’s couch to tell of all the dastardly things you did for the cause of parenting. You flip a coin on just starting with a dog or going all out with a human model.

Here is a little chart to help you compare and make your ultimate choice.

Poops in floorPoops in floor
Slobbers on youDrools on you
Chews on your shoesChews on your shoes
Barks when the doorbell ringsScreams when the phone rings
Eats off the floorEats off the floor
Requires shotsRequires shots
Leaves hair on the furnitureLeaves crumbs on the furniture
Humps stranger’s legsTakes candy from strangers
Best controlled on a leashBest controlled on a leash

Have you made the ultimate choice? In what ways have you found the two to be comparable? Would you recommend one over the other?


princessr9 said...

All of those are valid points, however, you can put a dog in a cage and leave it alone all day. You do that with a kid and people totally lose their sense of humor about it.

I recommend starting with a house plant. If you can keep it alive, graduate to a dog, then if you can make it through house breaking and the chewing of all your possessions, you might be ready for a baby.

Ratz said...

WOW. never thought of it this way.

Veronica said...

I know that a baby costs more, 18+ years of expenses and all, but at least you can take a human on vacation with you without having to make special arrangements and train him/her to be self sufficient and use the bathroom!

Plus when they get super old, they get to take care of us when we poop on the floor!

Love this post.

I choose human ;)

Morgan MacGavin said...

Hahaha!!! I think you just put my puppy & baby-envy to rest for now. ;-)

Shell said...


I already have 3 kiddos. I don't need either!

Tabetha said...

This is too cute!

Liz said...

HAHAHAHA! That's probably why they say you should get a dog to prepare you for kids!

I have a draft in my editor about how having a dog taught me how to be a parent!

Pammy pam said...

having a baby is nothing like having a dog. i've had both. and now i have dementia.

get a pet rock.

The mad woman behind the blog said...

Is it too late to trade in my kid(s) for another cat? Perhaps a hairless one?

Missy@Wonder, Friend said...


We think dogs are marginally easier, because at least you can leave them at home alone.

Kimberly Gauthier said...

I don't have kids for one reason - they have a long memory. I know I do.

Dogs forgive right away
Dogs can be left at home alone
Dogs will always love you
Dogs are always cute
Dogs don't need privacy
Dogs rarely talk back
Dogs are so easy to please

And in the long run, dogs are cheaper.

Now I need to call my mom and say thank you for chosing me over a dog.


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