Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Laundry Time

I don't usually use my blog as a personal airing of dirty laundry (unless I am talking about my husband's underpants that just get thrown away instead of laundered) but I am going to dedicate this post to the raging pregnancy hormones and air some laundry.

I have/had/whatever this friend. This friend always needs advice and is always in a crisis. I have tried to always answer questions, dispense advice, encourage and even financially help this friend in whatever way that I could; even when it put my family in a hardship to do so.

The advice I gave (although she actively was seeking it) was never heeded and the problems that she faced in the past are going to continue to pop up again and again (yet, she can't figure out why)

“All men make mistakes, but only wise men learn from their mistakes.”


Then came the part that really chapped my saddlebags. I gave financial assistance. The agreement was that the money would be paid back using a certain plan. It was agreed upon by all parties. Then came the excuses.

You know it was not the money that bothered me (although we were in a tight spot and it wasn't in our best interest to loan that much) What bothered me was feeling used. Just because we are friends, does not give a person the right to back out of their obligations. If you promised to do a certain thing, do it. Period. Otherwise you come across as a liar. Period. If you can't fulfill that obligation, show me you care enough to provide me with a clear cut plan of what you can do. I can respect that. Situations change, life changes and sometimes we can't do what we thought we could. But we can at least do SOMETHING. We can have enough respect for the other person to prove that we are not liars and that the relationship is valued enough to work together for a solution.

Another wrong thing to do is to attack, belittle, make fun of or generally complain about someone's spouse. Sure, maybe we have had some hard times together and I need to vent, but I can do that because he is my spouse. In this situation, my husband (being the finance guy in the household) was attempting to work with this friend and find out what else could be done to fulfill the financial obligation. He started out lighthearted and joking (sometimes that doesn't always come across right when dealing with him) but the WRONG thing to do is to come to me and basically call him a jerk. This "JERK" is the one who opened up his wallet and provided you with the money. This "JERK" is the one that helped me go through our pantry and provide you with food to help you and your children. This "JERK" is the one who initially came up with the idea of employing you in "HIS" business and paying you way more than what we normally would pay an employee. So he may be brash sometimes, but that "JERK" is the one that pulled you out of your hole (against his better judgment)That "JERK" is also my best friend, spouse, lover, father of my children and the best man I have ever knows. I will NEVER pick sides against that "JERK" although I can mediate if you feel that he is being too "matter of fact" with you and hurting your delicate feelings. Don't ever try to start a battle between us because it won't succeed.

Also (in closing) that stunt of "de-friending" me of FaceBook and blocking your Twitters...yeah, that's gonna leave a scar.

To my loyal readers...
Thank you for bearing with me through this rant even if it didn't apply to you. Not my usual lighthearted junk but I had to get that load of laundry out before it began to mildew.
I feel much better now.
Thankyouverymuch

7 comments:

Bellismom said...

Sorry you friend hasn't acted very friendly =-/

Glad you could get it off your chest though. Hope you start feeling better soon!

The Steffen Family said...

*hugs* I am sorry you are having to go through this. Dealing with friendship issues (loss or even drama filled) is hard... espically when preggo with all the hormones (I am one to talk). *hugs* Vent away my dear! :)

Bethany said...

Sorry your going through this. I can't imagine the hurt and frustration.

Isn't venting what blogs were made for? :)

Laanykidsmom said...

Bravo to you for standing up for your man. That would so seal the deal for me as far as that friendship being done. Sounds like you went above and beyond and that person just kept taking and taking. Friendship is take AND give. Hopefully you feel better after your post, and you still have other followers on Twitter!!

becomewhatyouare said...

Oh, my goodness! I am so sorry!! I want to say "I can't believe it," but I've seen people be incredible self-centered and stupid too many times to be too shocked. *sigh*

I have one of those people in my life. The kind whose life is always falling apart, who asks for advice and never takes it (to their loss!) but I have not had any financial dealings with her, thanks be to God.

"All men make mistakes, but only wise men learn from their mistakes."

You, my friend, have learned as well. I'm sorry it is such a hard lesson.

Oh, and The Man is NOT a jerk! I know. I've met him. :)

Frustrated, aggravated and angry for you. Praying for peace for you (and me!)

Nati @ I will praise Him said...

Sorry you're going through this. Ugh!

Mama M. said...

Yuck. That stinks...I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Hang in there...take the high road and come out shining!!!

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