Yucky, No Good, Very Bad Day

Yesterday was a yucky, no good, very bad day...to be around me. I had a fairly good day, much like a tornado...spinning around, doing my thing...but behind me? Wakes of destruction, tears, pain and much clean up.

Let me tell you a few untruths...

• My husband says I do it all for material, it is all planned. Nope, no one that is halfway sane plans to do these things. I am at least halfway sane.
• My family says it will be great for the book I will write one day. Probably not, I am sure I will break my leg carrying the manuscript to the mailbox, the mailman will see it and put his brakes on too quickly causing a 50lb box of athletic socks to fly from the back and bonk him on the head, causing death...it's the way it works. The manuscript will never make it past my own front door.

The great news is that we are all here today. Maybe not whole...but here. I guess I didn't do to bad after all.

The bad news?

• I still don't have any salsa in the house seeing as I broke the jar yesterday.
• My husband's toe is still broken since somehow I managed to drop the salsa jar on his toe. Talk about aim, my friends...
• My daughter's lip is still a bit blistered from the raw jalapeno that she snagged since I had to make fresh salsa.
  
• When the kids and dog were left unattended for a few moments, they ate 17 chocolate chip cookies that were cooling on the stove. Why were they unattended???
• Somehow I dropped a gallon of paint on the driveway and it busted. Somehow what was left in the bucket (which was probably only 1/2 gallon) managed to cover most of the driveway and splashed up on to The Man's company vehicle. No problem right? Just grab the hose...
• The hose is still sliced in two pieces from its battle with the lawn mower.
• The Man had to be woken from his nap and The Great Bucket Brigade started as we rushed back and forth to get the paint up one bucket of water at a time.
• The children, however, had lots of cookies. So did the dog...chocolate upsets his delicate canine tummy. Glad I had a bucket.

Today The Man has asked me not to cook, not to clean, not to go anywhere...basically, do not get in any trouble. Doesn't he realize that I don't have to go anywhere...something will happen, it's the way it is. I have accepted that and upped my Life Insurance. You know, just in case there is an incident with 50lbs of athletic socks and my head...because it will. That's the way I will go out of this world, you just watch.