Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Dear Human Mother...

Dear Human Mother,

Let's leave the nesting for the birds.
My friend, human mother, we mother birds have this nesting thing figured out. You, apparently do not, so let me give you a couple of friendly tips.

  1. Because our bellies do not swell to awkward, elephant sizes; we able to maneuver easily when building our nests. Human mother, your belly is ginormous. In your building of your nest for your young, you are forever sticking your gut to the wall and having to repaint section after section of belly printed walls. Likewise, wallpaper is not a good idea either as you cannot stand close enough to the wall to do what needs to be done.
  2. You will notice that we fully raise our young and shuttle them out of the nest before we consider ever building another nest or adding more young to an already bursting home. We never add an addition on to accommodate either. Human mother, have you not noticed that it is impossible to paint, wallpaper, etc. when your young are hanging to your back and destroying the very thing you are trying to create? Have you ever seen a bird carrying a baby bird on its back while carrying twigs to build a nest? Whose the one with the bird brain now?

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