Saturday, January 9, 2010

Lessons Learned - Vol. 4 (breastfeeding)

  1. The breastfed newborn will only be hungry when the potatoes are starting to boil, bacon starts to sizzle, tub of warm water for mom's bath has been drawn or 2.5 seconds within entering REM sleep.
  2. Your other children who usually show no interest in baby habits will suddenly become interrogators once a baby has a breast in its mouth.
  3. There is no satisfactory answer to a 4 year olds question about why they have no milk themselves.
  4. Milk will leak in public.
  5. 7 sheets of Bounty will usually contain this.
  6. Breastfed babies have yellow poop.
  7. Yellow poop stains fabric.
  8. Make sure you never really liked the quilt on your bed before removing a newborn's diaper there.
  9. Newborn's have no bowel control but apparently a sense of humor and timing.
  10. A newborn bottom with no diaper can and will resemble Old Faithful.
  11. Attempting to staunch Old Faithful is not wise with your hands.
  12. Sleep deprived moms make weird judgment calls about what they will catch in their hands.

21 comments:

MannMom3 said...

Dude..you racked them in last night!!

Lovin the lessons learned..especially #11

Cop Mama said...

Yellow poop stains onesies too! Don't ya love it when it goes all the way up their back!

Cute post, brings back memories!

Laura said...

Yup yup and yup. Especially the comforter thing, not only did I not care it was pooped on, I also slept on it. :)

The Unkept Cook said...

one of my earliest memories is of my baby brother on my parents bed and my Mom saying "Tara, just hold his legs like this" and the next thing I know I had poop in my hand and pee on my face (I was 4). It was helpful in learning bedspread lessons way early when I had Tigger.

Hilarious! thank you :)

Amanda said...

Since I'm currently breastfeeding a newborn, I laughed (and cried) at all of these :) ... especially the last :)

lovingmylife said...

Too funny! I still remember when my now 12 year old brother was tiny and my mom who home schooled me was giving me a geography lesson...(she is a multitask-er and was changing his diaper on her lap as well) My brother pooped and it flew up in the air and landed splotch on the spinning globe! Of course the globe came to an abrupt stop and poop covered most of the African continent! It was hysterical!

The Steffen Family said...

LOVE it!! Because I, like you, am a sleep deprived mom to a newborn and 2 big kids... I totally related to ALL of the above... and laughed OUT LOUD at them too!! Thanks for sharing! <3

becomewhatyouare said...

hehehe! memories!

sunshine (even if it's cold out) will usually get the yellow poop stains out. trust me. i know. :)

Whoz Your Doula said...

sunshine does work. I've been there too.
I loved this one. Had me thinking about the not so distant past 8 years of breastfeeding (no not just one kid)

*Jess* said...

oh hon!! I am so sorry!! I hope the quilt is salvageable!

Carla S said...

And another, "been there, done that!"

Mama M. said...

Hit the nail on the head! Had to laugh at "Whoz Your Doula's" response! Not just one kid! ;) Loved it!

Bethany said...

Hilarious, 'cause it's oh, so true. Love number 2 and 12. Fitting isn't it that number two is one of the best. :)

some random fool said...

awwwww...thanks for the memories! they all came flooding back when i read your painfully honest post.

Arizona Mamma said...

Oh man, how true are these? New born blowouts are always impeccably timed. Mine would always go right after I got letdown. Of course, I didn't want to interrupt their nursing, so it would leak all over the place before we were done.

Beckie said...

Been there, done that. I've caught things in my hands that I would have only imagined in my wildest dreams. Too funny and too true.

Amy O'Connor said...

I didn't think there was a diaper invented to keep all of KK's yellow poop. I can't tell you how many outfits got poop running down the legs of them!

Kimberly said...

Too funny! These bring back so many memories! I can vividly remember my then 4.5 YO DD "breastfeeding" her baby doll whilst I breastfed her baby brother.

Helga said...

I can relate to all of these but #12 made me laugh...hard!!! I remember trying to catch all kinds of things with newborn babies peeing and pooping while I was half asleep. Everytime I opened the diaper and pulled it away from their bottoms, they would start pooping!! Thanks for the laugh :o)

Mom2my9 @ 11th Heaven said...

Okay, I have to come here more often. You are hysterical! I just stopped nursing the twins 3 months ago, now I get to start again in 8 weeks with the newborn! Thanks for the friendly reminder of how life will be!

Audra said...

That is hysterical! I'm nursing #2 right now and that is all true!

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