Sunday Funday

Day 3 of being snowed in has made the possibility of me actually making it to Sunday even that more amazing. I don't usually do a whole lot of blogging on Sundays (computers need a day of rest too) but I am pleased as creamed peas to say this is my first Sunday Funday hosted by MannMom. The rules are that you have to play along or she is going to be seriously miffed at all of you! Well, not really..but why not play along?
Copy the questions and answer on your own blog then hit that shiny button above to link up to her.

The questions..

1. Do you iron your sheets?


Sure. I pull them from the dryer, press them on the ironing board, spend at least a hour to make sure there is not the slightest wrinkly imperfection and then place them on the bed making sure all 90 degree angles are perfect and they hang the perfect equal length on all sides.
Then I turn the top back slightly and place a chocolate for my husband along with a card that says "I am happy to serve you"


Um....yeah right!!! You'd be doing good to get clean sheets with a WonderPet or cracker crumbs between the folds.

2. Your dream car is....?



I used to have dreams about a 1969 Ford Mach I. But let's face it...3 car seats and a bag filled with bread, eggs and tampons does not the muscle car make. The car would probably not even start because of its embarrassment at being the mom-mobile. These days give me a rockin' minivan with 15 cupholders, DVD player for The Scribblers and some kind of sound proofing for the drivers and I am good.

3. Do you have an innie or an outie belly button?



Total innie. Cavernous really...

4. What meal do you look forward to the most..breakfast, lunch, or dinner?


Breakfast. It's not that I like breakfast food over the other meals that I serve, it's just the longest I have gone without food...the anticipation of sustenance is really high.

5. Favorite mascara?


Ya know, I have no idea. I am not a make-up type of girl unless I am hiding the 30 million freckles I was blessed with. So mascara? Something brown/black and on sale. Oh and waterproof..I tend to have leaky eyes when I laugh.

6. What would you say your decorating style is..traditional, modern, eclectic, country, french country, shabby chic, etc..?

Antiques. Creepy make you feel like you are at the ancient Great-Aunt's house. Just without the smell of mold and peppermints.

7. Have you ever been skinny dipping?


Yes, but it wasn't on purpose. Let's just say the latest fashion in bikinis and cliff diving are not a pair made in heaven.

8. I hate the smell of...?
Mold and peppermints. See question #6

Going White With The Grays

This post is brought to you by my shiny new laptop that I won in a lucky hand of cards. OK...so I didn't really "win" it as I was playing against The Head Crayon (and he probably let me win) and we were using "extra" money..so I guess this whole paragraph is pointless in nature...except, ME LIKEY MY NEW LAPTOP!

So onto the original post...you still hanging with me?

Hello?

OK, so we actually got some snow.

Um yeah...that weird measurement written there is courtesy of The Head Crayon and one of his construction projects, but it is safe to say that we got about 3.5 inches with another 1 inch of ice on top.

So The Grays pretty much live with us all the time, but they do go to their own house on occasion as they are still getting it packed up and ready to move (read: when the kids finally get on their nerves) As the storm (Winter Event) got closer they decided to hunker down with us. Normally, The Head Crayon, The Scribblers, The Grays or I have somewhere we need to go within a 24 hour period. Thanks to the weather we have been breathing each others fumes for almost 48 hours. Well, I did escape briefly yesterday before the ice fell by pouring a gallon of milk down the sink and proclaiming it empty thus resulting in an emergency milk (Starbucks) run.

Perhaps I should feel guilty for being on the gray side of a white lie, but seriously...have you ever been coped up with 3 other adults, 3 small children and one dog in a 1300 square foot house?

Admit it...you would have dumped the milk too.

And probably emptied the toilet paper within an hour of being back home.

(Have I mentioned that I am loving this new laptop...so shiny...all the keys work...drool...but not on the keys. No drooling on my new keys!)

So it's been a white-out coupled with The Grays and I think I am getting some new gray myself. There is nothing like knowing you can't get out to bring out the best (hardy har har..NOT!) in people. The female Gray is obsessed with The Weather Channel. There is a 24 hour commentary on what the temp, precip, etc. droning on and on and on in the background. (Ask her what the temp is and she never knows though...odd) The male Gray has been coloring with The Scribblers and looking pretty worn down after a 19 hour coloring marathon taking breaks for coffee and catnaps (and to check out The Weather Channel)

The Head Crayon and I played some cards this morning (see first paragraph) when we finally decided to venture out to "check the roads" We ended up at the Electronics department (I think it was the lure of "doing donuts" in the parking lot that actually got him out) and picked up my shiny new prize. (Have I mentioned that I lurve it?) Like a woman with a new hairdo, he had to accessorize it. (Read: $100 speakers) I wanted the mouse pad with the puppies on it, but he showed me his Man Card and I was denied.

So I am back at home once again breathing everyone's fumes and they are predicting that we will not be properly thawed until late Monday (Read: 48 more hours of shared fume-ages) I see another milk shortage in about 4 hours.

By the way...tomorrow I will be posting details for Feb. giveaway on the giveaway tab (giveaway crayon...whatevah...it's up above all this writing) so come back tomorrow and check out the details and the prize! Get your thinking hats on and be ready!

Five Question Friday

HolyFridaydiggity!!! I can't believe that it is already Friday. I had to look at the calendar six times, consult my wrist watch, check the date on my phone and I still didn't really believe it....until I saw that Mama M had her 5 questions up and running. It was like seeing a vision of Barney in the icing on my cinnamon roll, it must be true!

Friday in the blogoshphere means Five Question Friday with Mama M. You can click on the shiny button above (You know you want to...) or any of 2 times I typed the name Mama M (wait that makes it 3 now...) I would love to see you come out and play with us.

The following is Mama M's (now that is 4 times) own rules...

Questions for Friday, 1/29/10: (Muchos gracias to my friends, Lisa P., Liz, Megan, and Thorney London for their question suggestions! Wanna be linked in a future 5QF? Just leave me a question suggestion here, in my community! It's fun and totally not scary...I promise! Check it out!)

1. Would you ever vacation alone?

At this time in my life I am currently considering (or being considered) for a vacation all alone. I don't have my bags packed or anything, but I know that my wardrobe is all picked out for me. It's a nice white ensemble (not real thrilled on that since white is not slimming and I am accident prone) that comes with this super cool jacket with buckles. I am going to get my own little room and I have been told that the decor is on the minimalist side but that is so it doesn't detract from the view through the little window with the vertical poles that add accent to the view. The staff is super friendly and is always trying to get you to lie down and just relax. I hear that any minute now..."they're coming to take me away"

2. Do you go the speed limit?

I was told by a very wise person when I was in Driver's Ed (that was 18 years ago...do your math quick!) that the signs that have the black lettering are mere suggestions, the red ones are the ones you must follow. Never mind that this person was also 15 (still doing that math, huh?) I took that advice to heart...well, up until my 3rd speeding ticket (the 1st and 2nd were obviously rookies on the force and not up to date on speeding protocol) Since then I just kinda hang with the flow of traffic and stick to somewhere close to the posted numbers. Besides...it's really hard to give the baby a bottle, spank the leg of the toddler who is kicking the back of your seat, change the radio station and the movie I am watching in the DVD player when I hit 95.
Still never seen one of those elusive red signs!

3. Why did you start blogging/following blogs?

I started blogging as a way to keep my family and friends up to date with the many goings-on of my life. I continued blogging as an outlet to keep me from spiraling into utter despair at the fact that I was changing two sets of diapers, coming up with 47 recipes using chicken nuggets and had not once been invited to a black tie event. I started following blogs when I realized that I was not alone and enjoyed reading the stories of other moms out there. I have also found a few sites that had 48-53 recipes on chicken nuggets.

4. Where do you shop for yourself?

Shop for who? Myself? *gasp* You mean I can do that? Something for little ole' me without having to pick up some Dora panties, the latest Lego project with 5,985,237 new little pieces to get lodged in-between my toes and another 3 gallons of milk?
*Swoon*
If shopping just for me I love hitting the Cold Water Creek website, my budget however disagrees with me and I usually just go to consignment stores, wait for birthday money or pick up a new shirt next to the Dora panties.

5. What was the song that you danced your first dance with your spouse to at your wedding...or...what song would you like your first dance to be to?

While we did not have the "traditional" formal wedding, we chose to save our money and pay $30 to a judge and spend the "wedding budget" on my ring instead (it was well worth it, trust me!) If we could have had a first song to dance to it would have been....hang on, consulting with The Head Crayon on this one....
Do Ya Think I'm Sexy-Rod Stewart (Yup, we could've tripped the light fandango on that one!)

A Snowflake Is Coming...A Snowflake Is Coming...

Much like Paul Revere's ride through the town hollering, "The British Are Coming...The British Are Coming" we now have all the major networks beginning to scream "A Snowflake Is Coming...A Snowflake Is Coming"

As is the tradition here in The South, a mere snowflake has hoards of people standing in front of the milk coolers, the bread aisle and the gigantic pyramid of bulk toilet paper at the store clamoring in a scene more appropriate for closing bell at the Stock Market.


Heaven forbid you be the poor soul that grabs the last 48 rolls of super plush triple rolls. You'd best have on your best hockey gear to prepare you for the beating from the canes and the "accidental" shin ramming of the metal carts.

Children begin to beg for you to turn off that high pitched voice of the squishy sponge-dude and turn to the local news. They suffer through sports scores, traffic reports and that one interview of the guy wearing the John Deere hat who is suing the city because his outhouse sludge is covering the front yard; all for a glimpse of the cartoon friendly penguin letting them know if their school has been called out. ( I am frankly surprised that anyone in these here parts knows what a penguin is and thinks them to be trustworthy! Which comes to a question that I asked of my favorite high North neighbor...do you have to thaw a fresh penguin before cooking? Aren't they perpetually frozen? Not that I am cooking penguins or anything, it's just one of the things that plagues my mind!)

So we are now on "Winter Storm Watch" and anticipating a "Snow Event" (wonder if there will be tailgating for this? Better get the stadium chairs and the 55 gallon drum of chili ready just in case) My husband braved our WalMart last night...

...and brought us home the last 2 gallons of milk, a case of Chicken Noodle soup and a John Wayne movie. I think we are good to survive the impending blizzard now. (They were out of toilet paper, but since we are trying to move, we have plenty of packing materials for just such an emergency...although I am doubting the effectiveness of bubble wrap, it should be a fun experience for the kids)

Shaking Up The Crayon Box

There are some exciting changes going on around here.

Heavens no...I am not pregnant again.

What I am referring to is some blog changes. OK so maybe you want to hold onto your confetti, but as for me...I am throwing mine!

First thing you will notice is a nice little row of crayons at the top of the blog. These are navigation buttons to take you to different pages in my blog. Cool, huh?

• Home button - Duh...really folks.
• Crayon Box - This tells a little of me and The Scribblers.
• Bright Crayons - This section will be devoted to a new blogger each week. I want to showcase YOU! There will also be a widget in the sidebar listing your blog name and directing visitors to the "Bright Crayon" button to read more about YOU! This will start on Feb 1st.
  
• Giveaways - I have some exciting giveaways coming up. The first one will start on the 1st of Feb. and run until Feb 7th. It's a Valentine and Food type thingie...so if that is your kind of "thingie" check it out!
• Reviews - I am working with some super neat people with some super neat products. Not only am I reviewing these products but some of them will be available in the upcoming giveaways. Some are just so neat I am keeping them all to myself.

The next change is my domain name. If you found me through the usual .blogspot.com, you can still reach me through that for now, BUT you can also now find me by typing in www.thecrayonwrangler.com How cool is that??? The move will eventually be permanent and painless (So the fine folks at GoDaddy.com tell me) Hopefully you won't notice the change at all, unlike a really bad hair plug job that EVERYONE is going to notice!

Changing also is my BlogFrog community. You can find this cool joint on the top left sidebar. It's the pretty blue box up there....see it now? Good. Here I will be asking you questions and you can ask me and other reader questions or have some rockin' good discussions. I ask that we keep it family friendly and respectful. This is a way that I get to interact more with YOU!

I am also making the move to Disqus comments. This is another way to interact with you and your comments. It says to log in to leave a comment, but don't let that scare you. You can be a guest and comment just fine! I don't know if I will keep this feature premanent or not, we will just see how it goes and give me some feedback on it, mmm-kay?!?

Mama Went To The Bathroom

Done to the tune of Devil Went Down To Georgia

A momma went to the bathroom, she was looking for a quiet place to steal,
She was in a bind to find some "Me" time then she slipped on a banana peel,
And she came across a toddler laughing, splashing and making banana soup in the pot.
Mama's face turned bright red and she screamed, "Girl, let me tell you what."

I guess you didn't know but I need this bathroom too,
If you'd care to stop this cooking, I'll make a deal with you.
Now you can be good as gold, but give this mama a quiet minute.
I promise when I come back out, I won't mention the banana in it.

The girl said "My name is Belly and it might not be smart"
"But I'll take your deal and leave you alone and trust the yellin' won't start"

Belly, you'd better leave the room and scurry on your way,
Cause Mama's had a time and it's been a real bad day.
Give your Mama a minute so she can clear her mind,
And hope that she forgets to paddle your behind....

Belly opened up the bathroom door and she began to run,
Laughter shot from her mouth as she knew what she had done.
As Mama sat on the side of the tub there came a horrible sound
And Belly knew her time was numbered because of what Mama just found.

When Mama came out, Belly said,
You promised me no swat
So sit in that rocker there
Cause I know that I've been caught

Banana in the toilet, stew fruit stew.
The carrots and your clothes are making a brew.
Shaving cream and lotiony soap
Take a breath, Mama...I know you can cope.

The Mama bowed her head because she knew that she'd been beat.
Her resolve to paddle disappeared when she heard that voice so sweet.
Belly said, "I love you momma and I tried so hard to be good,
I was cooking for you just like a good momma would"

And she said

Banana in the toilet, stew fruit stew.
The carrots and your clothes are making a brew.
Shaving cream drips from above.
I am trying to show you all my love...

Happy UnBirthday

Today we celebrated an UnBirthday, because everyday should be a celebration of your child's life. We had UnBirthday cake, blew out UnBirthday candles and sang the UnBirthday song.

The following are pictures, plus some Bitsy pics for those needing a fix...

Mama M's Song

(done to Zac Brown Band's Toes)

I got my toes in the carpet, butt in my chair,
There's puke on my shirt, candy stuck in my hair.
Kids are wild today, Kids are wild today.

Well the baby woke up about 2 o'clock
And the bottle is cold in my hand
Visions of shopping dance in my head
And I standing by the empty coffee pot
Binkies and swings, dollies and blocks are the life that I'm livin in.
I am calling for the father,
The tubs overflowing water
And I'm not going in there again.

I got cheetos on the carpet, stains on the chair,
I can't find a clean shirt and haven't brushed my hair.
Kids are wild today, Kids are wild today.

Adios and someone please save me,
Yeah, I'm going insane.
And if it weren't for the legos and screaming babies
I'd have no reason to wake.
Adios can somebody hear me?
I am losing my brain.
Gonna lay on the carpet and stare at the ceiling
Hope that someone takes me away.

I got tape on my mouth, and arrows in my hair.
My wrists are bound and I am tied to my chair.
Kids are wild today, Kids are wild today.

Lessons Learned Vol. 6 - The Third Child

Each child is a learning experience, this is what I have learned by the third daughter...

1. The 1st daughter has a photograph documenting almost every waking moment of her life. The camera always had fresh batteries and was always kept so close that she thinks it is a lovey.
2. The third daughter: camera never has batteries and I have to be reminded that I have yet to take a picture of her by friends and family.
3. The 1st daughter had a baby book filled to precision by her 1st month in this life. Every ultrasound picture, card and detail.
   
4. The third daughter's ultrasound picture was used as a coaster and has cards stuck in daughter #1's baby book.
5. The first daughter had her diaper changed at least twice an hour.
6. The third daughter 's diaper is caught right before it soaks through the clothes. Diapers are expensive.
7. The first daughter was woken promptly every two hours to eat per the recommended feeding schedule.
8. The third daughter is let sleep for 4 - 5 hours because Mommy needs her sleep too. If she is indeed hungry, she will let you know.
9. The first daughter has an outfit for every hour of the day and one that signifies all holidays.
10. The third daughter is in the 1st daughter's clothes and Mommy has to make a run to WallyWorld on her 4th week of life to purchase socks that were somehow looked over.
11. The first daughter received every eye candy rattle known to man to encourage interaction and development.
12. The third daughter gets a empty toilet paper roll with some beans inside.
13. The first daughter is loved more than life itself and is deemed the bees knees. No child could be more loved or wanted.
14. The third daughter is loved more than life itself and is deemed the bees knees. No child could be more loved or wanted.

If A Tweet Falls In The Woods...

So, if a Tweet falls in the woods...would you hear a chirp?

*chirp chirp*

I am getting to where I must have my Twitter; like I must have my kids' kisses, my 15 cups of coffee or my favorite bra with the clasp broken clean.

At first when I signed up I couldn't get my thoughts into 140 characters, but I have learned the power of word harnessing and the power of the "RAWR" (Thanks taxmegan for that one) which is a sweet 4 letter word when nothing else quite shows disgust at a situation.

Then there is the all powerful #fail. Such as...

• Donut consumption in the morning...#fail
• Bleach in the colored clothes...#fail
• teaching my kids to share...#fail
• having a good hair day....EPIC #fail

I can't tell you how many times my scowl has been changed by a hopping topic through my Twitter buddies.

For many Twitter is a egotistical way of seeing how many people you can get interested in what you have to say. Some obsess over their "followers", but there are select groups of people out there that actually use it for a social connection. It's used as a quick "reach out and touch someone" automobile.

I want to use this blog post (and the power to write well over 140 words if I want to....thankyouverymuch) to say a quick thank you to the people who pop up throughout the day to inform, acknowledge and humor me.

Thank you for caring when I have a bad day and asking if anyone has survived.

Thank you for sharing pictures of my kids and noticing if they are wearing clothes or have a booger dangling.

Thank you for the fun little games even if I am the oddball who loves Gordon Lightfoot.

Thank you for being there when I need a little encouragement to make it all the way through the rivers of ironing.

Thank you for the weather reports of 75 degrees and sunny when I am facing an ice storm.

Thank you for pictures of glorious grilled beef when I am suffering a salad.

Thank you for updates on your workout and marathon when I am sitting on the couch eating marshmallows and fudge icing.

Thank you for bragging about your kid's 2 hour nap when mine are imitating the WWF and coloring on the walls.

Thank you for the movie review of the most awesome movie ever when I am watching WonderPets for the 5,689th time.

Thank you for the picture of the roses your husband sent you when me and mine are bickering over who changed the last diaper. (oh yeah...that was me!)

Thank you for providing me your phone number so I can call and sing random songs on your voicemail.

Most of all...thank you for being my friend. (This last comment was under 140 characters...un#fail)

Not a Bad Day At All

So I am on NO sleep. This is not good for me. It's not good for The Scribblers. The Man is unaffected as he has learned the blacker and deeper the trunks (we surpassed bags about a week ago) under my eyes are, the further he keeps his distance. The Grays (this is the new name for our elderly new crayons in the box) don't seem to notice my lack of sleep as they can't seem to stay awake themselves. The Grays can fall asleep watching The Weather Channel in 2.6 seconds flat....what am I saying?!? I could fall asleep in .07 seconds watching The Weather Channel...

Anywho...it was a really long day today. Not really a "bad day" (since I refuse to acknowledge any day as "bad" but rather just a toned down happy day with a lot of learning opportunities) It started with taking Bitsy in for her 2 week well baby check (one week late...go MOM!) we also needed to check her breathing as it has been "odd". We did a blood oximetry test (93 range) and tested for RSV (negative) and got a positive ruling of the Thrush. Fantabulistic. We got a nice Rx for a mouthwash (yeah...cause babies are so good at gargling, rinsing and spitting...well, she has the spitting part down pat. Good thing we got 4 refills!) The good news is she is up to 7lbs and 12 ounces. We are making the move up to newborn clothes (still a little big...but she got so many cute things!!)

Next in line was Belly. Because of her weight (Holy chubbster!) we decided to rule out any thyroid or "other" reasons that she might be as big as she is. I personally think we have her father to thank for it...but better safe than sorry. I think that weight will come into use come prom and marriage time. She can get any man she can carry...I mean...that she wants. In order to do these tests they needed to draw blood. That's more fun than petting a cat that is on fire with a rat trap on its tail filled with firecrackers. I begged, pleaded and almost bribed my sister to come with me and help. I didn't tell her about the last incident in which we found out that needles cause Belly to bite...So she came and got to be part of the Blood Retrieval Tackle Team. The saddest part was that Belly had to fast. There is nothing like a hungry, tired two year old having to give up some blood.

Next up was cleaning two rental units. We have gotten slammed this past week with rental units needing to be cleaned. 10 units in 2 weeks plus one fire cleanup and one flood cleanup. My legs are still a little sore from the 15 tons of antiques we moved a few days ago, so this was not pleasant...not one little bit....not that I am complaining. At least I have it easier than The Man who still works a full time job in addition to our cleaning gig...I ONLY have to care for three kids, house, dog, The Grays and Mt. Laundry.

In all fairness I must tell you that The Man did cook dinner (frozen pizza but it counts when he spruces it up) and sent me at least 4 random texts telling me "I love you"...then...oh...THEN, he told me what a wonderful woman, wife and mother I am...

SEE...told you it wasn't a bad day!

5QF

Click that cute picture above to visit Mama M and her Five Question Friday
Questions for 1/22/10: (Thanks to Casia, the Unkept Cook, Renee, Liz, and Kate for their question suggestions! Wanna be linked in a future 5QF? Head on over here to my community, and offer up your most fun, zany, quirky questions!

1. What is better, growing old with out money or dying young and wealthy?

Growing old without any money. If you are young and wealthy you might have "it" all, but think of all the experiences and memories you would miss out on. Besides...I hear Alpo can be prepared in many tasty entrees so it's not all bad.

2. Who takes out the garbage at your house?

The Man...if I fill it, he will come.

3. Have you ever had the same dream many times?

I have this dream that I am sleeping...often.

4. Can you play a musical instrument?

Yes, I play the piano and the violin. I can also play the armpit, but that never made it to a concert hall. Shame, really.

5. If you owned your own store, what would you sell?

Two year olds. Period.

Sorry I kept these short but we are having a rough day here.

Kickin Old School To The Curb

We are kind of old school around here when it comes to "stuff." We are more Flintstones than Jetsons, for sure. It's not that we dislike fancy, shiny new gidget-gadgets, its just that we have this quirk...Don't buy something unless you have to have it.

Our personal computer...it's one step up from the old black screen with green lettering computer.

Never made the move to the IPod. We still are enjoying John Denver and Captain and Tennille on the 8 track.

Our TV? 16 years old and still going strong...well, don't turn it off...EVER...because the power button long ago quit working and we don't have one of those fancy-schamcy remotes.

DVR? Sounds like one of those STDs (If I can't figure out how to record on my VCR or program the clock on my microwave...umm..yeah)

Yesterday I had to go shopping and get some basics. I decided to spend a little extra (our bank account sighed heavily with dread) and kick some of our old school ways to the curb.

First item to purchase...an umbrella. Gone are the days of telling The Scribblers to "suck it up, run like the dickens...what? you think you are so sweet you are going to melt?!? A little rain never hurt anyone..." I purchased a brand new shiny umbrella. (I did leave it in the plastic wrap as I walked to the van in the rain...head slap) I got home and showed it off to The Scribblers. It's every color of the rainbow and opens up to half the size of the living room. Seriously, I could keep half the county dry with this sucker. Oh...Oh...Oh...wait...it also has a cool push button that springs it open. One push and "whoooosh" a giant domed rainbow is there to guard you from that horrible wet stuff falling from the sky. Genius!

Second item to purchase....a thermometer. Wave goodbye to the old fashioned hand slap to the forehead to judge personal body temperature; we have a temporal scanner now. I got that fella out of the packaging (this did require the use of the biggest pair of scissors I own and about 15 minutes of my time...what's the deal packaging folks? You made my temprature rise 3 degrees just trying to release the product from its confines!) I popped the battery in and gave it a try...If I owned a Star Trek uniform I would've put it on. Seriously! The Man and I ran around in childish glee scanning everything that moved. "Beep Beep Zaaaap" 98.5 "Beep Beep Zaaaap" 98.9 "Beep Beep Zaaap" 72.6.....um yeah...the walls don't have a temperature. We were calling out the number readings like two 90 year olds at a Bingo game.

So we have made a few steps and kicked a little old school to the curb. I don't see me getting a DVR anytime soon because I don't like taking antibiotics, but baby steps....baby steps.
Perhaps we will even get one of those hoity-toity ice maker machines next. We are feeling all crazy...

Transition Lenses

Have you seen those really cool glasses that "transition" between normal glasses and sunglasses depending on the light?

Well, we are having to put on our own "transition lenses"

After much flip flopping around it has been decided that my in-laws will be moving in with us when we purchase a new home within the next 3-6 months. This "transition" was not made "lightly" (snort) as we all know what can happen when living with in-laws...

insert scary music

...but we feel that long term it is their best option. I am not saying it is going to be easy or always pleasant (ought to be some good blog material here) as FIL has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and MIL is not in good health herself, but we are hoping to keep our "lenses" looking at the brighter side and make this transition into caretakers for parents as easy as we can in this last step of their lives. We hope that it will be a learning experience as well for our children on family values and responsibility.

I have never used my blog to "trash" talk family members and will not be doing so now. I hope that as we "transition" we can find plenty to learn and laugh about. Hopefully even providing some of you a common stomping ground as it may be something you are facing or going to face in the future.

I ask for your prayers during these changes as I go from a mother to 3 little girls to a mother and caretaker of 2 adults. Challenging is a good word, failure is not an option.

Until we purchase our home (meaning get this current one sold as well...ugh!) they will be staying with us very frequently while also renting a home of their own. (Not real sure how that is going to work in 1300 sq ft with 4 adults and 3 young children)

Yesterday marked a beginning as we moved 15 tons (not lying!) of their antiques (down 2 flights of stairs...holy leg burn)in preparation of their moving. Today I am tired but at least I don't have to think about working out (not like I could move my legs if I wanted to)

I did not blog about this or talk about it much as I have had to work on getting my "transition lenses" properly attached and get my attitude and outlook in order. (News Flash...I am totally imperfect!)

So welcome my newest crayons to my crayon box as we continue to "Color Outside The Lines". Creating with our colors our own perception and reality of what life is and what will be.

Cooking With Daddy

The following video is rated "R" due to the fact that my husband needs to suck a bar of soap.

Disclaimer: No child was harmed in the making of this video and all safety precautions were used.

Cooking With Daddy Video

Literacy - Epic Fail

Literacy is so important, especially when following directions. Often times directions are provided in the form of pictures, but the written word is still all powerful.

I am a big reader and I adore words; but sometimes I am guilty of just looking at the pictures.

Take for instance these cookies...

Can you see the problem with these cookies? The lack of normal consistency? The plain weirdness of them?


Yeah, I noticed it too...as soon as I took them out of the oven after the appropriate 9-11 minutes of baking time. They still jiggled.


Jiggling cookies is not good.


I went back to the directions that were on the back of a box. (Yeah...you caught me, I made cookies from a premix out of a box. I have never claimed to be a baker and the kids wanted cookies.)

OK...now do you see the picture above. That's what I went by. A glorious artist rendition of a full stick of butter. Yup...I followed that. I added a full stick of butter just like the picture said...

look closer at the all powerful written word.

1 tablespoon.

Written word trumps picture once again.

The worse part of it was that my hungry Scribblers and the Head Crayon Purchaser were doing the warm cookie dance by the oven. The looks of disappointment at the Jiggly Cookies was deeper than their milk glasses.

The Head Crayon Purchaser insisted that I do this post as it has to be the dumbest thing I have ever pulled off in the kitchen. He even took the pictures. He wants...no, insists that everyone know about the Jiggly Cookies and my "Epic Fail" in recipe literacy.

He is pointing and laughing at me right now.

My esteem is as flat as though cookies and probably would jiggle like them too.

He is still laughing.

I turned around and whipped up a glorious batch of homemade sugar cookies, 2 loaves of to-die-for bread, Bourbon steak strips with rice pilaf...just to prove I was still worthy to wield a spatula...

He moaned slightly as he sampled each tasty morsel I produced....then he mentioned the Jiggly Cookies. I am not living this one down.

*Edited to add...the original post was lacking one thing and since he is no longer reading it...I HAD to tell you something. Those Jiggly Cookies with a full stick of butter are to die for! I didn't throw it away like I should have, but placed them in the very back of the fridge behind the pickles. After they had cooled, I tried one. Holy Buttery Goodness....They were like little wafer butter crisps with chocolate chips. Perhaps this wasn't the Epic Fail everyone thought they were...

I leave you with a final picture. The two year old Scribbler wanted to help in the kitchen...You know that saying "Sometimes you have to break a few yolks....."

Not in MY kitchen...Not on MY floor. *sigh*

5QF

Copied from Mama M's Blog

Holy moly! It's Friday...last I looked, it was Thursday! Ah...which, yeah...I guess makes complete sense...since Friday always follows Thursday, and all.

Ahem. Sorry.

Well, anyway my friends, it's time to put on your poodle skirts and bobby socks and get ready for a little Blog Hoppin'! (Oh, but if you're a guy and want to join in...feel free to forget about the poodle skirt...)

It's time for some 5QF action!! It's easy peasy...a silly, fun way to get to know other bloggers! Last week was one heckuva hoppin' week! Thanks to everyone who joined in and linked up!

Tell ya what...if we can break 100 this week...I'll make this 5QF a giveaway (I dunno what, but it'll be somethin' awesome!)! So spread the word!

Okay, want some rules?

Copy and paste the following questions to your blog, answer them, grab the MckLinky Blog Hop code (if you want), and link up! I'd love it...I'd probably hug you and kiss you and call you George...if you'd link back to me, Mama M.!

No blog? That's okay! Feel free to just jump in on the comments and leave your answers (but, really...you should have a blog! It's what's hip...or something...)!

Alright...

Questions for 1/15/10: (Special thanks to Lolidots, Casia, the Unkept Cook, Keely, and Megan for their question suggestions! Want to be linked in a future 5QF? Offer up your best question suggestions here...and stay tuned!)

1. Worst trouble you ever got into as a teenager?

You know...I am not even going to touch this one. I will just refer you to to the previous post in which I said I was a delinquent. There is a good reason for the 5th amendment...this is one of those cases in which to apply it.
Just love me for the reformed soul I am.

2. Are you a morning person or a night person?

I will gladly take out the morning bird and his stupid worm. The night owl is my bird of choice (That and the Great American Eagle...God Bless America!) My children know this and I am blessed to say they usually sleep until about 9am....usually. This newborn gig is cramping my style though.

3. Are you a one-handed or a two-handed Texter?

I am a give it all or nothing type person...so two hands it is.

4. Democrat, Republican, or Independent..or maybe even Green Party (whatever that is).

Conservative with some Republican ties.

5. Are you a pet person?

I am on a mission to clear all the pounds out...one puppy dog eye at a time. My husband...not so much. We have one pound puppy, Sam...and he is the best ever! Except when he pukes on the carpet, drinks from the toilet, licks his...ahem....

Growing Up To Be Me

I got some awesome suggestions from some of you the other day when I asked about blog topics. The one I am doing today was given to me by CopMama. I simply adore this lady( and not because she carries a firearm and probably knows how to hip toss me and zip tie my hands in 6 seconds flat) she is so sweet and funny, you really got to check her out.

She wanted to hear more about me growing up. Frankly the thought of this post is a little unsettling because I don't really like to talk about me much. I find talking about my children and their antics a lot more fun than little ole me. The topic was brought up because we obviously share a love of firearms, holsters and the ability of SWAT teams to bust up in someone's house.

The two defining moments of growing up to be me where spent in the hallways of church and in the back of a patrol car.

Back of a patrol car....Wha??? you say...

My dad was a Texas Highway Patrolman and BOY...was he cool. And tough. And he reeked Texan. I was so incredibly proud of him and so incredibly mortified to ride in the patrol car.

I don't want to ride in the back. Someone might see me and think I did something wrong...

Yeah, because the THP regularly arrests small children.

Well...that and the siren and lights are in the front of the car...and the cool scanner....

Then one day my dad got a call. It didn't come over the scanner. He got a calling to leave the THP and join a bigger force. Both he and my mom (my mom and him...him and her....whatever) decided to go to Seminary. There were quite a few jobs that he did between the two and since, but nothing made his back straighter than serving The Lord. They went on mission trips to other countries and sometimes...my sister and I got to go along. My favorite trip was to Belize. I was able to see actual people that lived in tiny little huts and to see their eyes shine with "Faith" even though I had no idea what they were saying. We brought them the Fruit of the Spirit and they served us rat and rice for dinner. Listerine doesn't get rat out of the mouth and there is no amount of mental scrubbing either...

As a teenager...a very defiant teenager...there was almost no hope for getting away with anything (although I sure didn't know that then) what having the eyes of The Law didn't teach them about deliquency...the eyes of The Lord sure did.

33 years have passed and dad is now hitting balls on the green enjoying a well deserved retirement...mom is leading Women's Ministry work and me....I love The Lord and I love me some firearms...with scopes and lights.

Bibles and Bullets.

That's how I grew up to be me.

Lessons Learned - Vol. 5

1. Coffee, when used correctly, will help you become more alert.
2. The first cup of coffee will not produce results for at least 45 minutes.
3. When making the kids milk (which is powdered) use something other than the glass jar.
   
4. Do not put breast milk in a similar jar as the bigger kids milk.
5. A sleep deprived mom who has not had that 1st cup of coffee can not tell the difference in the two jars.
6. Breast milk curdles in hot coffee.
7. Toddlers love to play in the fridge.
8. Toddlers think it is funny to feed the dog directly from the fridge.
9. An average size dog's stomach can not hold one full stick of butter.
10. A stick of butter combined with dog yak is hard to get off the carpet.
11. What butter did not land on the carpet will "grease the way" for the other end of the dog.
12. Dog's with loose poopies are hazardous to the new carpet.
13. Homemakers are hazardous to doggies who can not control their bowels.
14. Consuming too much butter is your own fault.
15. Putting down new carpet and painting so the house will sell appears to be a magnet for disasters.
16. Mommy can't handle too many more disasters.
17. Mommy needs a drink. A strong one. With no curdled milk.
    

Who Are You And What Did You Say?

1,000,000 Baby Names
Best Baby Names
Naming Your Baby
Names That Sound Good When You Scream Them
Names That Won't Get Your Baby Beat Up On The Playground

Baby name books and websites. The all-consuming task of naming your little bundle. You spend millions of hours trying to find that perfect one. You ask all your family and friends. You agonize over the spelling. You even wonder how that would look monogrammed on tea towels. Then you have a toddler and possibly some more Scribblers running around and...

well...

What was their name again?

You are minding your own business, doing whatever 15 tasks at one time that a mother is required to be able to do. Stirring the food in the pot, pulling something out of the fridge with the other hand, doing the math on the coupons in your head, rocking the bouncy seat with one foot, pulling clothes out of the dryer with the other foot, licking a postage stamp and the using your left over spit to try to clean the toothpaste off your shirt...and you hear a crash, scream, tears, more crashing and the running of little feet.

Be...Bu...Bi...Sa...Da...(incoherently you scream out the first part of everyone's name not knowing exactly what their names are anyways) WHOEVER YOU ARE...COME HERE!

The Scribblers line up in front of me. The tears are spilling and the words are jumbled as each tries to spit out the story of what happened. A broken picture frame is produced from behind the back of one of them.

Seeing how all of your appendages are busy doing other tasks, a verbal lashing will just have to suffice for now.

Here's where the real speech problem comes in. You are so mad, not only can you not figure out what their names are (although you have a good idea thanks to the monogrammed shirts they have on) you try to convey your frustration, censor yourself, get out 15 directions at once and still let them know they are loved.

You'd better....why did you...you know...I am about to...what were you...you know not to....geepers, I just love...can't you see I'm...MAN!

How our children will ever learn to talk in complete sentences, I will never know.

The Scribblers look at me in utter confusion. They look at each other. They nod knowingly at the unspoken message between each other as the assess the "Mother Situation"

"When Momma gets a speech impediment it means real trouble. Say "I love you, Mommy" and slowly back away..."

I am still trying to stutter out the verbal discipline when I notice there are no Scribblers around. I turn back to the now boiling over pot of food, the crying baby, the stamp that won't stick and the toothpaste stain that is now been smeared to a 2 foot size resembling a Miss America sash across my shirt and say what I wanted to say all along.

AAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Say "Cheese" or else...

Some background on me. I used to work in a professional portrait studio. I spent hours taking pictures of kids. I was good at what I did and my customers adored my work. I was no Anne Geddes...but not half bad. (I actually take better pictures of the side of a barn) Well, except for that one lady.

If you hadn't beat your child half to death before taking the picture, then I might have gotten a good shot. Did you really think the look of terror, snotty nose and red-rimmed eyes was gonna be a fireplace mantle type shot? Me no thinkey so, Cruella.

The strangest thing has happened, I can't take a decent...half way acceptable...mildly artistic picture of my children to save my life. OK so I don't have the fancy studio, backgrounds and props...or that camera worth about 9K...but seriously, I have the education and the hours under my belt. I could take any child and get "THAT" shot. The one the parents just had to buy the $400 package of.

I have done everything I can think of to get "THAT" shot of The 3 Scribblers. If I actually get them posed (but not posed...casual...ya know) then someone has a snot runner, has to take off their shirt, drops the baby (well...it almost happened) has to poop right. now. or. else, my ISO settings get a case of the gremlins, my light source burns out, the backdrop (the sheet) falls on someone's head causing absolute terror...the possibilities are endless (and exhausting...and I am running out of M&Ms)

Almost everyday I have pulled out the camera and tripod since Bitsy's birth.

Everyday I have failed.

The children noticeably get the shakes every time I plead "Say Cheese"

I get a twitch every time I download 300 pictures of elbows moving, tears, eyes blinking, the baby looks like she is being strangled, someone has their arms crossed in defiance.

But a light shines down from heaven and angels begin to rejoice. HOPE is born. Today I was just walking through the living room and the two oldest Scribblers were playing nicely in front of the fireplace. Their clothes (wrinkled with bits of grilled cheese) almost matched. I snatched the baby and the camera. I placed the baby in the 2 year old's arms, ran the appropriate distance away, hollered out a good Cajun type pig call (this always makes them laugh) and snapped the picture. The ISO is not good, the brightness is all wrong, the colors were horrible, the camera flash was bad...but there are two Scribblers smiling and the baby is not being strangled (you can't really see her face, so trust me...she is adorable)

I can live with that.

My precious Scribblers...yeah, I can live with that.

Little Eyes

Little Eyes, what do you see as you gaze into my own,
Do you know that even if you can't see me, that you are not alone?

Can you see the angels that are watching from above,
Can you see in my eyes the strength of my love?

Little Eyes that squint against the brightness of the day,
That close in contentment as on my chest you lay.

From your little eyes may not one tear drop fall,
May your little eyes sparkle always with the wonder of it all.

Little Eyes, may you never have to see sadness and pain,
I pray you always see the beauty after the rain.

Through this life you may not be able to see me with your eyes,
But carry my love, my little one, tucked deep inside.

Tone It Down

Thanks to the world of blogs, forums, FaceBook, texts and all ways of connecting and communicating through the written world; we are seeing a world wide epidemic of chips on the shoulder and hearts on the sleeves.

Without the use of facial expressions, voice inflection or hand gestures; we have become a society that is just "misunderstood" Constantly having to go back and reword what we say, add italics for importance, add in the ;) symbol so sarcasm is caught and throw in a good "LOL" for good measure.

I can't tell you how many forums that I have been a member of that have turned into a good virtual bar room type brawl all because someone's "tone" wasn't caught. This typically leads to forum members coming out of the woodwork to either support or oppose the original poster. The almost humorous thing about it is it seems to take a minimum of 45 people and no less than 600 posts all saying the exact same thing to finally come up with the phrase "We will just agree to disagree" Then there is always one or two posters who go all "random" about the subject and try to split it into a different direction. Sometimes (and these are my favorite) you have that one person that in the middle of the controversy types out "I like coffee" Sometimes the coffee diversion is successful turning the fight into fun...but then there is always that person who feels slighted because their bowels have an aversion to coffee.

The "Golden Rule" has never been translated into a HTML code preventing the typing of hurtful words, so let's just work on "toning it down" Make sure when you type and are expressing your opinion that you refrain from a "offensive" tone. If your intention behind your post seems to be unclear...that "Enter" button...yeah, that's optional. Backspace button...use it and revise. Power button on your computer...might be necessary.

Wondering about the serious nature of this blog post? Yes, it is still me, "The Wrangler" I sent out a tweet this morning about having trouble with material today (my muses went to coffee) and asked for some ideas. This first idea was brought to you by my "Womb Mate", my adorable (and misunderstood) twin sister.

There were 2 other suggestions.

#1 I want you to go visit my best friend and laughter buddy over at "Outnumbered by Testosterone". She only has 11 followers, let's build her up some. She is an incredibly funny mom of 2 boys under the age of 4, she's a military wife (Thank you for your family's service and sacrifice) She's witty and edgy. She also has GREAT taste in friends.

#2 Let me tell you about my HAWT friend Kate. She is a "newer" friend (just breaking her in) but I feel as though I have known her a lifetime. She's a funny mom as well and...AND...she bakes. I can count on her to get my jokes and come back with something that challenges my bladder control.

So those are my topics today...do you have anything you would like me to write about? Perhaps something funny? Something edgy? Something that requires a lot of ;) and LOL? Let me know...I love taking suggestions on blog material and the challenge of writing about something that my readers WANT to read.

Facing the demon

I did it, my friends. I finally decided to face one of my demons head on. Well you know...if a demon could look like a flesh colored Sharpei...

Yeah, the dog with all the loose wrinkles...



Yup, just like that. One of those demons.

I stepped out of the shower and looked my demon...err, my nude postpartum body head on. I told myself I wouldn't waiver, wouldn't flinch and that I would be bold.

I flinched.

Stuff jiggled when I flinched.

Oh Heavenly Father...I have lost my belly button. Wait...is that it?
Seriously?
Way down there?

You have got to be kidding me!

Ever since I gave birth, just two weeks ago, I have avoided the Sharpei demon. I knew it was there, but I opted for loose, flowing and unrestricted clothes.

And lots of denial.

Loads of denial.

But as I lifted the belly button area the 17 inches that was needed to place it back to the appropriate belly button area, I had to face the facts.

3 kids in 4 years does not a dreamy midsection make. It's a Tim Burton type of nightmare at best.

I wonder if I lift it up if I could disguise it somehow. Yeah...that's it. I can tuck it into the lower band on my bra.
This is definitely not a muffin top. Muffins have personality.
This is a flaccid pancake top.
Nobody appreciates a flaccid pancake.

I am now in self talk mode. This is way different than denial. I am acknowledging the problem and trying to work out the solution. After all...it's only been 2 weeks since my body was swollen with baby. Swollen to obscene proportions. Alien in its hugeness.

I can fix this.

I can get "things" back to normal.

I am going to need staples.

And duct tape.

Lots of duct tape.

I am mildly encouraged by a lot of my friends on Twitter. They are talking about exercise. They are doing the things that need to be done to improve themselves.

I am sitting here eating graham crackers and chocolate frosting. (It's for the milk production....really!)

They are using soup cans for weights. Yeah sure, sometimes they have admitted to eating the soup...but they are doing it.

They are having fun competitions and prizes in the "getting healthy" quest.

I am sitting here with my bucket of icing.

And a misplaced belly button.

There is a shining silver lining though. I am on doctor's orders. I have an excuse.

And lots of duct tape. I have loads of duct tape.

In two weeks (give or take) I will be able to jump on this exercise train with my friends. I will be the one bragging about my workout and my jello legs. I will boast about the pounds I am losing.

I only hope that I can find my belly button.

And my hips.

We are not even going to discuss my cheekiness. I am trying to stay in a 2 foot area of focus. Everything below the knee caps will have to wait. Cheekiness will remain in denial for a while.

I am facing my demon. My loose, flappy, jiggle for 15 minutes after laughing demon.

Interpretation is subject to interpretation

Mommy says: Quit opening the fridge door and put the coke can back.

Child interprets: There was only a slight edge in her voice and her hands are full with the baby...I can probably open it 6 more times and drink that can of coke before she can actually get to me.


Mommy says: Please stop kicking your sister.

Child interprets: Get one final doozy of a kick in before I call it quits...let's see if I can actually knock her off the couch with this last one.


Mommy says: Eat every single green bean on your plate or you are not getting any cookies.

Child interprets: She sounded almost serious, but she has folded before and only made me eat 3. I think I will hold out for a better offer.


Mommy says: Hold still and let me get this band in your hair before I pull your hair out.

Child interprets: HA HA...she is weak! Bet she can't hit a moving target...na na na boo boo.


Mommy says: Don't ask me for one more thing or we will leave the store right now.

Child interprets: I can see those 3 cans of Folgers and pack of tampons...there is no way she is leaving that behind. If I lick this banana she will have to buy it.


Mommy says: That is so disgusting, please use a tissue the next time you sneeze.

Child interprets: She thinks that is bad...wait until she sees me string it at least 3 feet.


Mommy says: Don't make me come in there...

Child interprets: I am totally calling her bluff here.


Mommy says: Turn off that TV and go to bed.

Child interprets: Blah Blah Blah Blah!